Right Click Delete
Monday, May 01, 2006
Right Click Delete
Breakout,breakthrough.Something i never thought i'd do.I dont exactly consider myself to be a person very fond of sentimental things.I mean,judging from the way i spring clean my room,you'd know that i have little love for my old stuff,relics of my past.
But when it comes to old photographs,old photographs of you,i dont know why i never had the courage,the guts to just select them all in my computer and delete them like i do like bad mp3s.Ive tried it a couple of times,when my mouse hovered over the "delete" selection,but i never clicked it.I never dared,and the moment i put that thought aside,that thought of not deleting your contacts,i always regret it.I dont know why,it's just a complicated feeling.
But i did the unthinkable yesterday night.Im not sure why i wanted to find out,or why i did so afterwards.I went to your blog,the first time in weeks and see if my name is still on your "links" list.It werent,and at that moment i told myself,"Okay,i guess this is it,this is the time to do it".
I guess in a way i was just waiting for you to do that sort of thing to me,to delete me from every known connection that we had.It gives me a reason to do the same,without and sort of guilt or regrets i guess.To eliminate the possibility of nostalgia through anger and hate,maybe.But at that moment,the very moment i didnt see my name on the list of links anymore,i found it so much easier to just right click and delete your contact from my MSN.It doesnt make any difference to me,nor to you,since you've blocked me for so long ever since your Japan trip.Oh,i know,and dont think i dont.I might be ignorant,but at least i am oberservant enough to know that no human being would update their Friendster profile a dozen times each month without logging on to MSN.That's as good as you going to the mall for some shopping but never visiting the counter for payment.Do you think the cashier wouldnt notice that?
It was that easy,it really was.A slight click with my middle finger on the right mouse button,and then followed by my index on the left mouse button on the "delete" selection.Your name was gone,your nickname is no longer.Gone,and there you go down the gutter of my life.Like the song i wrote below,i've written you off the stage of my life as well,in fluid blue upon white.It's a rock off my chest,but for some reason what's left is not a sense of relief but emptiness.
Dont you wish everything is as simple as this?Probably in twenty years time when we are all implanted with chips,and memories are stored in them like .doc files,and music in .mp3 files,we can do that with our brains.I can see it now,i can hear the advertisements on the radios."A bad memory?A painful memory you want to erase,a lover you cannot forget?Come on down to our customer service centre and get your painful memories deleted for just $26.90!First time customers get to have the first five memories deleted for free,and the more you delete afterwards the cheaper it gets!So come on down now!"
It's amazing how theraputic the act of right click delete really is.You never really know the effects of it until you really get down and do it.It's like bungee jumping,the fear of it overcomes you until the moment you are airborne and surging throught the air,falling down down down...
I remember telling my friend that life is like the keyboard,the keyboard under the tips of your fingers right now.Dont we all wish the commands we give to our computers through the keys,are applicable in our daily lives as well?Memories like that,memories like her,just press delete and it is all gone.When you are too deep in some shit,when all you want is out,just press the "Esc" button and you are immediately taken out of it.
Dont we all wish,when life hangs by a moment upon a hook,and you are strugging with your limbs trying to get off?Like how computers hang on you,dont you wish you can just press "Ctrl,Alt,Del" on the keyboards,and everything is back to normal?"Ctrl your emotions,find an Alt,Del the past".It's that easy,or is it?
No,it cant be that easy,it cant be the same.If only the simplicity of keyboards can be applied to our lives.They are not,they are never this easy.Our lives are so much more than just numbers,alphabets,symbols and commands.How do you mend a broken heart,by using any commands on the keyboard?How do you stop crying,with a pressing of a key?You cant,you just cant.
But one thing is certain,one thing is definite.That my life,in this life,the only thing the keyboard is right about.Unlike it,"U" and "I" will never be together,forever.Not ever,you and I,"U" and "I".We will always be apart,always be galaxies away,not like the letters,not like the alphabets,never like the alphabets.
PS.I made you look at the keyboard when i mentioned about "U" and "I" didnt i?Hahaha.
Breakout,breakthrough.Something i never thought i'd do.I dont exactly consider myself to be a person very fond of sentimental things.I mean,judging from the way i spring clean my room,you'd know that i have little love for my old stuff,relics of my past.
But when it comes to old photographs,old photographs of you,i dont know why i never had the courage,the guts to just select them all in my computer and delete them like i do like bad mp3s.Ive tried it a couple of times,when my mouse hovered over the "delete" selection,but i never clicked it.I never dared,and the moment i put that thought aside,that thought of not deleting your contacts,i always regret it.I dont know why,it's just a complicated feeling.
But i did the unthinkable yesterday night.Im not sure why i wanted to find out,or why i did so afterwards.I went to your blog,the first time in weeks and see if my name is still on your "links" list.It werent,and at that moment i told myself,"Okay,i guess this is it,this is the time to do it".
I guess in a way i was just waiting for you to do that sort of thing to me,to delete me from every known connection that we had.It gives me a reason to do the same,without and sort of guilt or regrets i guess.To eliminate the possibility of nostalgia through anger and hate,maybe.But at that moment,the very moment i didnt see my name on the list of links anymore,i found it so much easier to just right click and delete your contact from my MSN.It doesnt make any difference to me,nor to you,since you've blocked me for so long ever since your Japan trip.Oh,i know,and dont think i dont.I might be ignorant,but at least i am oberservant enough to know that no human being would update their Friendster profile a dozen times each month without logging on to MSN.That's as good as you going to the mall for some shopping but never visiting the counter for payment.Do you think the cashier wouldnt notice that?
It was that easy,it really was.A slight click with my middle finger on the right mouse button,and then followed by my index on the left mouse button on the "delete" selection.Your name was gone,your nickname is no longer.Gone,and there you go down the gutter of my life.Like the song i wrote below,i've written you off the stage of my life as well,in fluid blue upon white.It's a rock off my chest,but for some reason what's left is not a sense of relief but emptiness.
Dont you wish everything is as simple as this?Probably in twenty years time when we are all implanted with chips,and memories are stored in them like .doc files,and music in .mp3 files,we can do that with our brains.I can see it now,i can hear the advertisements on the radios."A bad memory?A painful memory you want to erase,a lover you cannot forget?Come on down to our customer service centre and get your painful memories deleted for just $26.90!First time customers get to have the first five memories deleted for free,and the more you delete afterwards the cheaper it gets!So come on down now!"
It's amazing how theraputic the act of right click delete really is.You never really know the effects of it until you really get down and do it.It's like bungee jumping,the fear of it overcomes you until the moment you are airborne and surging throught the air,falling down down down...
I remember telling my friend that life is like the keyboard,the keyboard under the tips of your fingers right now.Dont we all wish the commands we give to our computers through the keys,are applicable in our daily lives as well?Memories like that,memories like her,just press delete and it is all gone.When you are too deep in some shit,when all you want is out,just press the "Esc" button and you are immediately taken out of it.
Dont we all wish,when life hangs by a moment upon a hook,and you are strugging with your limbs trying to get off?Like how computers hang on you,dont you wish you can just press "Ctrl,Alt,Del" on the keyboards,and everything is back to normal?"Ctrl your emotions,find an Alt,Del the past".It's that easy,or is it?
No,it cant be that easy,it cant be the same.If only the simplicity of keyboards can be applied to our lives.They are not,they are never this easy.Our lives are so much more than just numbers,alphabets,symbols and commands.How do you mend a broken heart,by using any commands on the keyboard?How do you stop crying,with a pressing of a key?You cant,you just cant.
But one thing is certain,one thing is definite.That my life,in this life,the only thing the keyboard is right about.Unlike it,"U" and "I" will never be together,forever.Not ever,you and I,"U" and "I".We will always be apart,always be galaxies away,not like the letters,not like the alphabets,never like the alphabets.
PS.I made you look at the keyboard when i mentioned about "U" and "I" didnt i?Hahaha.
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on Monday, May 01, 2006 at 10:55 AM.
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