In Continuum.

Cold War

There is a cold war waging in the Chin household as of late, confined to that little space between my room and my sister's. We haven't talked for a week now, and I don't remember our silent treatments ever lasted this long with no apparent reasons. At least I cannot think of any substantial reasons as to why she is giving me a cold shoulder, but then again honestly speaking, this is not the first time this has happened. Cold wars in this family between the both of us has been a more than common thing, especially to my parents who just roll their eyes when they see this happening. I don't blame them or myself either, because it is always my sister kicking up the fuss and never me, ever.

It all started she would walk down the corridor without acknowledging your existence, or the way she stares through you like you are some invisible person at the dining table. Of course, you might argue that it is that time of the month, but it has been lasting for eternity already. There is this constant chill coming from her room the whole day, whenever she is around as if somebody left the switch to the air-conditioning on. I swear, if you put a piece of raw bacon there, it might still be edible after a week and a half, that's how cold the atmosphere is in her room these days. Strangest thing of all is perhaps how normal she seems when she is around my mother, still irritating the hell out of her and the threatening to 'box' her when my mother is busy with her own work.

My sister is a Leo and I am a Cancer, and traditionally speaking these two horoscopes cannot live under the same rooftop at all. My childhood history has been dotted with a lot of violent fights between the both of us, usually ending with one or both of us crying our eyes out. I remember this particular incident when she was playing solitaire on my mother's bedroom carpet when I ran into the room and accidentally kicked her in the face. Of course, she flew into a rage and then I probably was near to being smothered under the pillow. This other incident I cannot remember, but she has been bringing it up for the past twenty years, about how when I was still a baby, I got pissed off at her for some reason and took a bite at her stomach. "Look at the scar!" she would scream with her t-shirt lifted up to reveal a small brown patch, supposedly my teeth marks.

The only person she is at peace with at home is probably my mother, because they seem to get along like sisters, with my mother as the extremely old sister and her being the extremely young one. Sometimes, I don't really get what she is thinking when she comes up to you and go," Why are you ignoring me?" After which, if you still are ignoring her strange act of innocence, she will take a bite in your arm and run away. That is on the good days when she still gives you that prior warning before taking a bite. On the bad days, she would come into your room without a warning, take a bite in your ear and run off screaming. Keep in mind that this is my 24 year old sister, and I am supposed to be the younger brother here.

But good or bad days, if she actually bothers to interact with you in any way, that's actually a good sign. At least she is in a class of good mood, one way or another. But as for the WORST days, she won't even notice your existence at all. I think if it is possible, she might run into you in the corridor without cursing under her breath, or walk right into the toilet where you are doing your business and not notice you at all. That's the kind of cold war I am experiencing now, the kind that's waging silently and so menacing under the surface.

It was much worse when I was a kid, when the both of us shared a bedroom down the corridor. I loved the double-decker bed that we had, and of course as the domineering one in the family, she took the top deck. Sharing the same house with the person you are having a cold war with is bad enough, and last time we had to share the same bedroom as well. That situation became so bad that our tables had to be separated by a giant white board. She moved out of the room eventually and I stayed, but that did not diminish the power of the war between us.

Whenever I bring it up to my mother, she would shake her head and tell me not to take it to heart. "She is like that," my mother would say. "Ever since young, she would throw a tantrum at exactly half past five, and nobody knew why." I can't really complain a lot about our relationship, but I guess deep inside I am just craving for a good relationship between myself and a sibling? We aren't slashing at each others' throats or chasing each other with kitchen knives or whatever, but that doesn't mean the pain inflicted isn't half as bad either. The speechlessness between the both of us pierces deep - at least for my part. Just seeing the close ties my friends have with their own siblings kind of makes me jealous sometimes, but not every family is a happily-ever-after one isn't it?

Dress my sister in red and myself in blue and we might start shooting at each other with mini-missiles and declaring a nuclear war in the corridor. Which the other countries - members of the family - just watched in amusement and go," Oh, she is like that" or "He is like that". We are probably the two most mismatched siblings in the world, the way magnets flies in two totally opposite directions when the poles are the same.

To cross this bridge of communication would take a lot of understanding between one another, and understanding her would be a feat by itself. I am an opened book, my friends should know that. I mean, just look at the format of my blog! But she isn't the kind of person willing to showcase any of her emotions, except for the following: Happiness, anger and irritation. I'm not saying that my sister is a shallow person just because she merely shows three very basic emotions, it's just that she is a person that shuts out a lot of things. At least that is the impression to me anyway, and that to me is the greatest barrier in this awful cold war waging under the roof of this house we both dwell.