In Continuum.

I bet you didn't know about this one, you haven't seen it coming at all. This is the curve ball I am going to throw at you guys, the twist at the end of the movie that you've never saw coming. This is the part of the blog entry where I tell you about something unusual that you've never heard of before, something which is going to make you think about for the rest of the day. I shall begin with a question: Have you heard of a medical condition called the Exploding Head Syndrome? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is a real medical condition in science, a well-documented medical condition that plagues a small population around the world. You remember that kid from kindergarten whom nobody sat with because he twitched a lot? You know, that kid whose mother was always outside the classroom to look out for him, and the teacher also gave extra care and concern to him. We all had such a classmate before, or a schoolmate of sorts, someone with some kind of unusual ailment that is uncommon. It's different from a sniffle or a cold, but some kind of genetic disease that he or she was born with, and it's not like they could help it. You cannot deny that despite their disabilities, they were special in class somehow, and that leads me to the second major twist of this blog entry - I have Exploding Head Syndrome.

I kid you not when I make such a claim, because I am serious about it. I was reading up on some facts about the human body when I read about this rare medical condition that explained the phenomenon that happened to me a few months ago. Mind you, Exploding Head Syndrome does not literally mean that your head explodes like a watermelon strapped to a bunch of C-4s. I think I wouldn't be sitting here and blogging about that if that is true, and I don't think such a serious condition would have such a laughable name. It'd probably be in league with Spontaneous Body Combustion, only more intense and more visual arousing. So, Exploding Head Syndrome is not like that, it isn't half as fanciful at all. In fact, it is probably not going to be featured in a lot of news articles or documentaries, because it isn't exactly life-threatening. You know that Discovery Channel girl who cannot be exposed to sunlight? I watched that documentary and felt extremely sorry for the girl by the end of it. After all the surgeries, she still passed away at the end of it, not being able to see her face being constructed to resemble a normal little girl. I am not like that little girl, and thus I am less news-worthy. In a way, I am fortunate, depending on how you see it.

Let me tell you about Exploding Head Syndrome. A couple of months ago, I was studying for my exams, my head buried in my books when I heard this soft sound in the back of my head. It sounded like waves at the beach, coming and subsiding every once in a while. Initially, I thought it was the sound of rain falling outside, and I remember turning to the window to check a couple of times. It wasn't raining at that time, and I remember putting my pinky into my ears to check if I was hearing things - I wasn't. The sound of waves started getting louder and louder, and then it became like white noise from your radio or television set when you turn to a blank channel. You know, that sound that sounds like water crashing into rocks, something like that. From there, the volume would gradually increase, and then it'd dissolve into voices that sounded like people talking, but not really. It was really loud, and it got louder and louder, though never painful to the ears, and it got so loud that I started cupping my ears at one point. Like I said, it didn't pain my ears, but I couldn't force my own thoughts through - it was rather scary.

By the end of the ordeal, the sound just stopped and faded away. I was left in my seat, shaken, and wondering what in the world just happened to me. It was scary, let me tell you that, because it felt like some paranormal experience that you'd read about on internet websites. Those first-person encounters or testimonials about connecting and communicating with the dead. I've never believed in such things, which was why I brushed that thought aside quickly. However, extra-terrestrials, that was another territory altogether. It sounded like aliens trying to communicate with me, it was as if they were trying to tell me something with their unique language. That is also why they have gave it a strange medical term, it is so that nobody would ever really find out about how they are communicating with mankind. OK, now I am sounding like one of those crazy people who claim that they have been kidnapped by aliens to have sex with them, right? I have seen a video about this woman who claim to be the queen of this distant planet, and she had a hybrid alien child with an alien while she was abducted, or something. Are these people serious? Anyway, I don't think it was E.T. trying to phone home, or phone me rather. Then again, I never found out what it was.

I think if it was a close encounter of the third kind, then the aliens would probably insert a better radio with a better reception quality in my head. I mean, think about it for one second here. If aliens are so smart to fly a thousand million light years to our planet without detection, abduct me in the middle of the night without me remembering it, slice open my head to put some sort of chip in it (without me knowing it), sew it back up again (still without me knowing it) and send me back to my bed in the same position (without me knowing it), then they'd probably also have the technology to implant a better radio, right. I mean, perhaps they'd rely less on radio waves and more on, I don't know, strange alien wave X or something like that. I think that is what they'd do, or what they'd rationally do if they do want to communicate. Then again, if they do want to communicate, why pick a college student who hasn't even graduated with a degree yet. Pick a Harvard graduated lawyer or something like that, or put a chip in Obama's head. I think that'd make more sense, because he really only needs to press a button to start a war if he wants to (though, I am sure he is cool enough to not do such a stupid thing). It is not going to be me, it's just not.

So, the Exploding Head Syndrome, I only found out about it today. Apparently, it is triggered by stress and fatigue in sufferers, like me, and it seems to be true for the most part. It has happened to me a few times already, and I can finally put a name to that symptom. I don't think it causes harm to my health or anything, but it certainly causes discomfort and inconvenience every once in a while. Like, if I am tired, I am not going to be able to hear anything from anyone because of someone else in my head yelling through a loud hailer, or something. It'd be difficult, but that has happened before. Naz and I were just talking about the possibility of turning this strange medical condition of mine into an advantage. Coming from a man who is excused from most military-related activities, he told me to go to a doctor and tell him about the symptom. Of course, the first time he hears such a thing, he is probably going to think that I am crazy, or that I am stupid. Either way, he is not going to take me very seriously. I think I should bring some kind of textbook with me, or a file full of newspaper articles on the subject. You know, to show a little bit of authority and lend a little credibility. It'd persuade, everybody is influential, and everybody buys in to a little bit of something.

So that'd be great, to get downgraded for a rare symptom like that. And, I am not lying about it either, because I do have it. However, I have no idea how it can be diagnosed, or clinically proven at all. It is a very real problem, but I have no idea how to prove it. I suppose it isn't necessarily a medical emergency, but I will fill out the necessary forms when, well, necessary. Anyway, we started talking about a bunch of other symptoms that could become a hindrance in the army. Like, if you have a perpetually erected penis, that is going to be a big problem (if it is big in the first place). You know, you cannot leopard-crawl, and you cannot back-crawl either. Well, you can back-crawl, but it is really at your own risk of having your penis caught in the razor-sharp barbwires above. If you have seen pictures of what happens to human flesh on blade, you don't want that to happen to you. Any kind of prone position would be out, and a walk through the showers is going to provoke a lot of stares. I mean, in a all-boy community, why are you having a hard-on in the first place? Oh, and you are probably going to be excuse from parades and stuff as well too. Imagine the Commanding Officer inspecting the ranks and then getting poked in the side. That, would be amazing.

So anyway, I'd like to try it one day. I'd tell my officer this. Sir, I cannot participate in today's rigorous training exercise because I have been diagnosed with a rare and incurable disease called the Head Exploding Syndrome. And no sir, I shit you not. I think he is going to give me a few extras, which I'd welcome because I'd get, in return, to sue his ass off. I have a legitimate reason to skip your exercise! Don't you dare tell me that my medical condition is fake! Anyway, Head Exploding Syndrome, it could actually save my life after all. It is one of those rare diseases to have, but it is good that it is not going to affect my health in any way, you know? I am just going to be that cool guy with that weird syndrome in school or something like that. You know, the guy with the Head Exploding Syndrome? Well, maybe not, but it'd still be interesting to note nonetheless. Anyhow, I am going to bed now, and hopefully this syndrome does not suddenly become a literal interpretation overnight. I mean, think about the laundry that I'd have to do afterwards! The mess! Oh wait, I am missing the point.