In Continuum.

I remember a particular conversation I had with a friend of mine in class some time ago, and the topic of punishment in our childhood came up somehow. I think it was something the lecturer asked, and it was something along the lines of whether anybody in class suffered no physical punishments from their parents. I was one of the few students in class who raised their hands in response to that question, because I was never hit by my parents for something that I have or have not done. In private, that friend and I talked about it, and I remember him jokingly saying something along the lines of "no wonder you turned out like that", whatever that meant. I don't think I turned out to be a bad person, but that comment regarding how my parents decided to raise him was painful to listen to somehow. It felt like a judgment upon the ideals that my parents firmly held on to in regards to raising a child, a method which I feel to have contributed greatly to the person that I am today. It was said jokingly, of course, but the conversation ended soon afterwards. As difficult as raising a child is, I feel, physical punishment isn't something that is always going to work. It backfires at times, and I suppose my parents probably knew that a long time ago.

To know that you are about to raise a child is probably the most stressful thing you are going to experience in your life. The idea that you are responsible for a human life, that kind of responsibility isn't exactly what you want to shoulder on top of what you already have to carry as burdens. But there are such joys in raising children, I guess, which is also why so many parents decide to go through with it. As a child raised by my own parents, I haven't had the chance of raising my own. It's not that I intend to try that out anytime soon of course, but you think about such things from time to time, because it is fun to imagine how it would be like. Teenagers are always complaining about how unfair their parents are, how they are giving them too much control and that they are always caring too much about everything. The truth is, though, many of us are probably not going to do any better than our parents. I think given the same situation, we are probably going to react the same way, treat our children the same way, because that is how we were brought up to be, for the most part. It's difficult to be in the shoes of your parents, and that is something that I acknowledge for a fact. Being a parent is a tough job, but that doesn't mean that you cannot have some fun out of it.

I think about such things at times, especially when you are walking through malls and then catching married couples with their children from time to time. If you look around closely enough, there are times when you see really young parents who look like they should really be in high school. You can tell when the parents are too young, from the way they talk to the way they act - everything. I've seen those really young parents before, the sad result of an unplanned pregnancy perhaps. Then you start to wonder how it is the ripe age to hear about my own friends getting married, getting pregnant, becoming fathers. I am turning twenty-three this year, and it just seems like the kind of age where I'd be starting to hear about such things from around me. I haven't been invited to a wedding just yet, but I see it come in due time. In the mean time, perhaps I'd hear a few shotguns here and there, though it isn't something I wish upon anybody that I know, certainly. My point is that when you have people around you, or even the ones younger than you, pushing babies out from their wombs, you can't help but wonder how it'd be like when you have to fill the shoes that your parents walked in for the better part of your life.

My parents brought me up in ways that they deemed to be the best. I've never been canned, never actually been scolded, I've never been hit at all. My parents never laid their hands on me for something that I have done in the past, because they never believed in physical punishment. One of the strange questions that the teachers used to ask during those parent-teacher meetings in primary school was whether or not they could use canes on the students. I remember my friend before me in line, and his mother was enthusiastic about the teacher using the can on her son. Then it was my mother's turn to be asked that question, and she told the teacher off on the spot, telling her that discipline was her job and not the teacher's. I have done a lot of wrong in my life, and my parents have always stayed away from any kind of physical punishment. That is not to say that they let me off easy, because in exchange I had to sit through long lectures and talks with my parents, particularly my mother. She talked a lot of sense into me, like that one time when I was being a spoilt brat and didn't want to eat my dinner. They always say that the way that your parents raised you is how you are going to raise your own children. To that, I feel good about being equipped with the best parenting skills I'd ever need, a beautiful heirloom passed on from my parents to me.

As I often think about such possibilities, Neptina and I talk about parenting ourselves from time to time. Of course, it's not that either of us are eager to become parents anytime soon. It's just like talking about a dream house in the future, and bringing up children is just a part of the package. For one, I have strange rules regarding how my children would grow up, things that may seem disagreeable somehow. I mean, when you rule out physical punishment, you may think that there aren't a lot of things left to do to the kids than to send them to their rules, or something. Those don't work, as we have seen from movies, so I intend to punish my children, if possible, through other means. Instead of banning them from the computer, for example, I'd allow them to use the computer for as long as they want, provided that they can navigate it without a mouse. That's right, if my children cannot properly use the computer, I am not going to take away their privilege to use it. I am, however, going to take away the mouse and have them navigate the computer that way. If they still abuse their right, I'd take away the keyboard, and let's see how they can use a whole day's worth of computer without those.

If my children refuse to eat dinner, and would instead prefer to play video games, I will not stop them from doing whatever they want. You know those children, the kind that takes an hour to eat a bowl of rice? Those kind of kids annoy me to no end, and I have no idea why parents would bother trying to chase them down and feed them. Let them have their fun, let them skip their meals, let them do whatever that they want instead. But me, as a parent, I'd not give them a meal when they come begging for it. When they do get hungry by the end of all those playing, I will just tell them that meal time is over and that it is too bad that they missed it. As before, I think I am a very fair father. I will not try to take away what you want to do, because I believe in choices in life. If you choose to do this, then be prepared to suffer the consequences. I do not care if you are hungry, because it is just too bad that you chose playing over eating. If you can somehow find food around the house, then you can very well go ahead. But the parents are not going to help you find food around the house. Also, if you have to go out of the house to buy food for yourself, then by all means do it. However, it is not going to come out from our pockets, but your own. We've already spent money on your portion of the dinner, and it is just too bad that you couldn't appreciate it when you had the chance.

I think manipulating my children is going to be so much fun. I think every parent has tried to manipulate their children into believing something that is not true - jokingly. My uncle once told my sister that pigs are just very big dogs, and I was led to believe that a canary was a chicken. Anyway, adults like to manipulate children, and I love to manipulate children. Something interesting will happen once my children find out about religion, and even more interesting when my child comes up to me to ask me what the big deal is all about. Neptina and I are shining examples of how a catholic and an atheist can co-exist together, and such a great difference in beliefs are going to be the foundation of our children manipulation - though we like to call it social experiment. One day, I am going to be myself and she is going to be herself, an atheist and a catholic. We will do whatever that we can to make our child believe in our beliefs, and then completely change it around tomorrow to mess the child up. I'd ask the child to go to church while Neptina would try to stop him or her from doing so. On the third day, we shall adopt completely new religions altogether, and Neptina shall be a hindu while I will join the ranks of John Travolta and Tom Cruise as a scientologist.

Going back to punishments, I will not prevent my children from coming home later than they should as well. If they come home at two in the morning when they promised an eleven o'clock return without an explanation, the front doors will not be locked. In fact, it will be left opened, before no good parent shall deny their children of their basis needs like food, water, shelter, those kind of things. They will be invited back home, but then they are going to find a couple of things missing. First, the bed is going to disappear. They will not be blankets, or pillows, and everything will be locked up somewhere in the house with the only key in my possession. All his or her clothes will be throw out of the house because people who come home late do not deserve to wear clean clothes to sleep at night. They'd have to sleep in their dirty clothes, or wash whatever that I have thrown out of the windows just to take a shower. Of course, the heater will be turned off and he or she would have to deal with cold water in the middle of the night. Oh, and to make things even more interesting, I'd wake him or her up really early in the morning just to do something stupid for me. Like, take old newspapers downstairs, or something like that.

If he or she comes home all drunk, I will thank his or her friends for bringing my child home. This will be a special case though, because this will be when I lock my child outside of the house. If there is a garden, it'd be great if I just leave him or her there throughout the night for him to sober up. I mean, nothing beats the cold night air and bugs in the middle of the night. Besides, I wouldn't want my floor or carpet to be stained with his or her vomit - so why risk it? If you drink until you cannot bring yourself home safely, you are not coming home at all because of your lack of responsibility. You are staying outside of the house and not coming in until you are sober enough to give me a phone call to say that you are sober. Then, of course, you'd find your bed missing and your clothes thrown out, and then I'd wake you up early in the morning to go prawn fishing, or something as crazy as that. You don't want to step into my house piss drunk, because you are not going to like everything that ensues. Hangover, to you, will have a different definition of pain, because it is going to involve more than just vomiting and nausea. It is going to involve me increase the level of punishment progressively until you become chained up to a pipe completely. Oh, and you will only be served alcoholic drinks for all meals, and I will be willing to pay for that - don't test me, son.

It's not that my parents ever did anything like that to me, but it's just me wanting to twist their beliefs around a little bit. My parents are pacifists, and they do not believe in violence around the house at all, even if it involves spanking. I share that belief as well, and I do not believe in physically punishing my child. However, taking that belief, I have modified it to accommodate a new era and society with children not heeding the words of the parents at all. My methods do not involve any violence or physical abuse, and that is the only way that they are ever going to learn. I think I will be a crazy father, but a cool one nonetheless. I mean, I allow you to use endless hours of computer provided that you can control it with no keyboard or mouse! You can go ahead and play on your consoles as well, but you are not getting any controllers whatever, because I am going to auction them off on eBay. Everything that you can do to break rules are going to be covered by me, and there isn't going to be a way out, whatsoever. No, this is not a prison - this is my house, and it can be worse.