In Continuum.

I will not say "poke fun", but it is more about questioning the nature of religion that I seem to be known for around my friends. Even around this blog, you get to see an entry or two every once in a while regarding that subject, something in which I am deeply passionate about. My friends and family know what I advocate for when it comes to religion, and it is certainly a stand that is against it whole idea of religion as a whole. Yet, when you break things down into different components, I must admit that I do very much appreciate some, if not most, of the teachings in religion. I mean, fundamentally speaking, the ethics and morals taught by the religion can be used for good, and no one can disregard the charity work that many religious institutions have done for poverty stricken countries. Religion is certainly not all bad, and it is always the human beings that eventually make it turn out to be completely stupid and ridiculous. However, if you think that the religious bunch of people are completely out of their minds, there is another group of people that are even more outrageous that you cannot start to fathom how they are allowed to be a part of our society. These "spiritual coaches" that we are talking about, the ones who claim that they can speak to angels and, as a result, help you improve on your life, they are the ones that I am going to target this time.

I was going through a couple of YouTube videos when I came across a series called "The Shan and Rozz Show", with the hosts speaking with various interesting individuals in Singapore. There's one about a Caucasian boy in Singapore who speaks fluent Singlish, an interview with an expat, an owner of a sex shop at Boat Quay, and then there's this rather insightful interview with a transsexual. I must say that I enjoyed the series quite a bit, and I was really starting to dig the concept when I came across an episode when they went to interview this so-called "spiritual coach". I have no idea what the term is supposed to mean from the looks of it. On the surface, it looks like a profession that involves a lot of meditating, or something like that. I do understand how people would believe that meditating can clear their minds. I mean, have you ever sat on the same spot for hours on end, and just trying to clear your head? At least meditating makes some sense if you think about it, but not this time. This "spiritual coach" has the word "scam" written all over her face, and I was surprised a show such as this one even bothered to entertain her bullshit. In this entry, I am going to take apart everything she says and convince you guys that she is a hoax.

So, we have this spiritual coach (self-proclaimed) who claims that she has the ability to talk to angels, to read auras, and accomplish great things if she channels her energy right. Ironically, her name is also Angel, and she calls herself a "professional trainer" the moment she started to introduce herself in the video. First of all, I am sure there needs to be some kinda school you need to go to, some credentials for show for, something that you need to do in order to call yourself a "professional". You don't hit a flattened soft drink can around with a stick and call yourself a professional hockey player do you - same thing. You need some kinda proof to show that you are a professional, and to call yourself a "professional trainer" when you are dealing with something as abstract as spirituality is just the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life. That is as good as saying that you are a professional when it comes to predicting life after death. Oh wait, actually everything in religion tells you about that part, so that's just as stupid. Anyway, so this woman holds workshops and inspires people to find their purpose in life. Now, I don't really have a problem with workshops like that. I mean, we have all heard of seminars like that, motivational workshops that help people to become more, well, motivated. There's nothing wrong with a little nudge out of the door when it comes to confidence, right?

The problem with her, to me, is really about how she goes about supposedly "helping" these people. She then goes on to say how she fell into deep depression about four or five years ago, and she was surfing around the internet one day when she found an ad that said "You can talk with Angels!". She signed up for the course to talk with angels, and apparently her journey started from there. At this point, you don't even need to read the rest of my entry to know that this woman is completely retarded. Not for once did she realize that maybe her special ability to talk to angels was the result of her depression, if it was depression at all. It very well could have been a serious case of schizophrenia, and she really could have been having hallucinations about these voices in her head. Second of all, even if she wasn't really a mental patient in the first place, she was certainly low on IQ for clicking on an internet ad as stupid as that. If you thought that sending loads of money to a Nigerian prince because he claims to want to send you back a hundred million dollars is stupid, clicking on an ad that claims that you will be able to converse with angels after a course is even more ridiculous.

It is even dumber than pop-up ads that claim that you will be able to enlarge your penis in two weeks by eating a certain pill that flashes across your screen every five minutes if you don't have your ad-blocker set up. I'd like to know what in the world she was thinking when she saw the words "You can talk to Angels" and thought that it was probably real. I mean, I might as well go onto the streets and try to convince people that by chanting the words "hee hee banana", their penises would grow to thirteen inches in length. I bet some people would buy it, and I bet they'd also pay me good money for it, because humans are just that stupid. I mean, if people can believe that by joining some ambiguous online course can allow them to talk to angels, they will believe anything. I'd like to ask this spiritual coach if she believes in Santa Claus, flying pigs, unicorns and pots of gold at the end of rainbows. Seriously, if you believe that some ridiculous online course can teach you about talking with angels, you can believe that pigs can fly, humans came from outer space, and that breasts can be enlarged by drinking more milk everyday. You really have to be in a whole new ballpark of stupid in order to believe something like that, but apparently she bought it - literally. She probably paid an absurd amount of money just to talk to invisible people, and now she is trying to earn all those money back by scamming even more stupid people like herself.

Then, one of the hosts asks if her ability to talk to angels is like the ability to see dead people. She claims that she cannot see angels, but she can feel them. Oh, that's right, it's easier that way isn't it. If you cannot convince everyone, confuse them. If you cannot convince people that you can talk to angels, then tell them that you cannot see them, but you can feel them around you all the time. The rules are yours to set, and you can pretty much conjure up anything you want, and there will be people buying into your shit for sure. It is always easier to con someone when you are trying to sell something invisible - trust me. It is the same as how millions and millions of people bought into the idea of God when no one has actually seen Him before. It is easier to sell something that is mysterious or the unknown, and even easier to earn big bucks out of it. How convenient is it for someone to say that they cannot see the "product" that they are selling, but they can merely feel them. In that way, you don't have to answer questions like "how do they look like" and "why are your visions different from the ones that I have". Feeling them differently would probably be the answer of choice, and you'd be able to get away easily. And yes, feeling something is always more convincing than telling people that you can see something. Imagine yourself listening to some ghost story, and your friend tells you that she felt something instead of saying that she saw something. The latter is probably going to be met with a lot of skepticism, and you are probably going to try to explain what it probably was, right? I just proved my point. When someone tells you that he or she saw something, you'd probably say that it was probably something else. If someone tells you that he or she felt something, you'd probably just accept the fact that he or she did indeed feel something. It is the manipulation of human beings, and that is exactly what she did here. If you think that it is absurd now, the interview gets even more absurd.

The female host then asks how Angel convinces people to believe her when she is trying to persuade them to believe in something that no one can see. Angel then laughs about it, and tries to compare her belief in angels to sun rays. She says that nobody can see the sun rays, but if you stay out in the sun for too long, you can a suntan. SERIOUS? Did she just try to convince me that there are angels in this world. and that we should believe that there are angels because, like sun rays, we cannot see them but we can suntans?! I was appalled at this point, and I couldn't believe that somebody could say something as stupid as that with a straight face. Knowing that the sun gives you a tan is not the same as believing in angels. One is based on absolute facts, and it probably has years and years of scientific evidences to back it up. Your angel-talking mumbo-jumbo is a figment of your imagination, and it has absolutely nothing to do with sun rays. I can feel the wind despite not being able to see it is DIFFERENT from believing in angels despite the fact that they are not there. I might as well use the same logic and convince people that I have a thirteen inch penis without lowering my pants, just because "you can get a suntan even though you cannot see sun rays". I do have a thirteen inch penis though. I cannot show it to you, but just believe me anyway. How STUPID is that?

The female host then goes on to ask Angel if it is possible that she is merely hallucinating, that she isn't some crazy woman spurting out nonsense. Angel doesn't believe that, because she knows that the voices are from them. By the way, she also knows that there are five angels around her, and that they are from all over the world. I mean, just imagine yourself sitting at your desk, and you are suffering from acute depression. Suddenly, out of nowhere, you start to hear voices in your head when there aren't anybody visible around you. The most sensible or rational person is going to realize that he has some mental issues, and he'd need help. This woman is clearly not in a state of mental instability that she wouldn't be able to recognize the signs right there and then. However, instead of seeking help with a psychiatrist, and readily jumped to the conclusion that the voices in her head were indeed angels, and that they were in fact speaking to her. Now, wait just a minute there. It is the same damn argument as the theory of evolution versus creationism. Even though the evidences behind evolution may not be the most concrete thing in the world, you do not automatically jump to the other end of the spectrum and believe that the world was created in seven days by magic. Similarly, you do not believe that angels are talking to you just because you do not believe that you have a mental problem. If you cannot wrap your head around a concept like that, you DO have a mental problem. By the way, all of this nonsense is just less than two minutes into this seven minute interview.

A point to note, I love how the female host (her name is Rozz) completely disregards how ridiculous the woman was. I love how her eyes rolled to the back of her head when Angel firmly believed that the voices belonged to angels. "I'd see a doctor for schizophrenia!" was what she said in regards to that, and I have a feeling that her enthusiasm towards the end of the video was all made up. I mean, throughout the interview, you can see that she gets more and more amuses by the obvious stupidity of the woman sitting in front of her. When she went on to try to convince them about the sun ray thing, I could read on her face that all she wanted to do was to laugh out loud and then slap Angel across the face a couple of times. If I was there, I'd probably be held back my chains just because I'd be so tempted to smash her face in with the heels of my shoes. I hate it when people have the audacity to say incredibly stupid things with a straight face, especially when they are not trying to tell a joke or anything like that. Oh, actually, maybe Angel is really a comedian, and we are all falling for her joke. Well, if it is a joke, it is a really bad joke, because I am not exactly amused by her. I am saddened by her utter stupidity, really.

Angel claims that the angels are from all over the world, both male and female, and some of them are from Italy while some are from the Philippines. First of all, I have no idea that angels actually come from countries at all. I wonder if they have passports, and that they were dead people from the past or something like that. I mean, if you are an angel then you are an angel, right. You are not an angel from Mongolia or something, because you are supposed to be beyond nationality, or the species as a whole for that matter. Conveniently, all these angels from all the different countries in the world just so happens to speak the same language that Angel seems to understand - English. Now, Angel thinks that they all speak the same language because they want to communicate with her in ways that she can understand - a common language, that makes sense. But maybe they are all speaking the same language because that is the only language that Angel, herself, knows. Like, maybe they all speaking the same language because they are all a part of her own imagination. You don't expect a manifestation of your head to speak Latin if you don't already know Latin - same thing. It amazes me at this point, how something so painful logical never came to Angel's pathetically small mind.

It gets even more fun at this point. She then starts to talk about her second super awesome ability: the ability to see auras. Now, she takes out this photograph of herself at some wedding, a picture taken by a boy. She specifically stated that the camera that the boy used was "made in China" for reasons unknown, as if we'd not believe that the photograph was doctored otherwise. Anyway, she claims that she has an aura around her head, and you can clearly see a white circle around her head in the picture. OK, so here's the thing. You stated that the camera used to take this picture was "made in China", and that the circle around your head is supposed to be an aura. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe it was just a lousy camera, and that the circle was really just a stain on the camera lens that somebody didn't bother to clean off? You see a circle around your head and you automatically assume that it is some kind of aura that you have, how stupid is that? Perhaps you haven't heard of the quality of products that are supposed to be made in China, because they don't always have very good reputations out there in the streets. She then claims that it wasn't because of the camera because if the camera was faulty, then the photograph wouldn't have been of such high quality. No, the picture looks like it was taken by a pinhole camera with noise and pixels all around. It is by no means, a good picture.

She also claims to be able to see auras around the hosts, with a white around Rozz and a yellow slash golden slash white around Shan, the male host. First of all, white is supposed to represent wisdom, and yellow is supposed to represent health. Oh great, those are the things I'd like to hear from my fortuneteller! The thing about fortunetellers is that they tell you everything that you want to hear, and then they collect money from you afterwards because, for a period of time, they made you feel good about yourself. Have a specific number of strokes in your name and you are supposed to be lucky - great! And, of course, stupid at the very same time. Everybody wants to be told that they are wise, or that they are healthy as a bull. The fact that she told them that a certain color could mean a great many things just goes to show how little she knows about her own special abilities. It could mean health, but it could also mean nothing at all. Besides, she didn't seem to be able to tell the color of the aura around Shan's head, which was surprising to me. There is a great difference between yellow, golden, and white. Apparently, she couldn't tell the difference between the three colors, and she gave all three colors in her explanation. If she can see my aura, I hope she sees my aura's color: Brown for Bullshit.

So this retarded spiritual coach brought along three other retarded friends of hers to the show. What happens is that the male host gets to sit on a chair while the three retarded friends and the female host try to lift him up with their palms pressed together as if they are trying to shoot a gun (Just watch the video to get a clearer picture). Obviously, weighing in at nearly ninety kilos, the four of them weren't able to lift him up (supposedly). Then Angel instructs them to focus their energy and clean their aura by, well, running your hands over your face and body as if you are taking an invisible shower. Then they were told to place their hands on top of Shan's head like pancakes, and then asked to visualize the words "light as a feather". Then, of course, Shan becomes miraculously light, and they were able to lift him off the chair. That is what happened towards the end of the video, and the female host actually seemed surprised and in awe of the "miracle" that just happened before her eyes. Angels smiled gleefully while her retarded friends stepped away with the same smirks on their face, thinking as if they have accomplished a feat that nobody else can.

Here is my explanation for the miracle: BRUTE STRENGTH. It is easy for such a demonstration to succeed when you have three out of four demonstrators to be "your people". All you have to do is to have them not exert any force upwards when trying to carry the male host up in order to make people think that yes he is heavy as hell, and that you cannot lift him up. Then when it is time to perform the actual miracle, just exert real force and then carry him up for real. There were two men involved in the demonstration anyway, and it was so obvious that they exerted more strength in the second attempt than in the first that it became almost ridiculous that it was even used as an evidence that she has the ability to focus and channel her energy. In fact, it was just a display of brute strength, and that they were able to carry the male host because of one thing: teamwork. I have absolutely no idea how the ability to carry a ninety-kilogram man is supposed to be related to auras and conversations with angels. In fact, if you don't already see the obvious scam here, you have some personal issues that you have to sort out here. This Angel person is full of fail, and it is amazing how people are paying her to do this kind of bullshit in Singapore. Everything about her screams of stupid, and it appalls me to know that she is probably earning money out of this course of hers. But then again, what can you say really. Humans are just that stupid, and people would believe anything when given the right dosage of ridiculous.