In Continuum.

Institutionalized

The common problem for every red-blooded male in Singapore is - other than female-related ones - National Service.Aside from the fact that you shave those beautifully dyed and carefully dishevelled on the very first day of the service,perhaps the most petrifying aspect of National Service comes down to a single word in the Oxford Dictionary: Adaptation.

On the very first day,also the very worst day,of National Service,we were treated to a clean shave of our heads to the very foundation of our heads,and treated - for the very first time - like dogs.Most of us probably had a hard time getting used to the coolness at the back of your head when a wind blows,the way your sergeant rained saliva over your faces while you had your palms on the sun-baked ground,in an awkward push-up position and asking yourself what you did in life to deserve this sort of treatment,or the fact that your buttocks are revealed to fellow platoon mates every single night,and once a year during your birthday with camo-cream and snake powder added to spice things up as well.

The point is,that it is all about adaptation to life.It is all about getting used to things,and when you overcome that stage of adaptation,everything would seem like a breeze to you,a piece of cake,peanuts.

Two years is a long time for anybody to adapt to any environment.And if by the end of your 'tour' you are still sucking on your thumb and relying in your mother to look after you 24/7,then i am sorry to say that you have utterly wasted two years of your life learning nothing,gaining nothing,and forsaking everything.However,like a habit or addiction,the life in NS is hard to shake off once you leave the system.The magical and holy ORD date awaits at the end of this long race to the finish line,and everybody rushes towards it like travelers lost in the desert,and before them an oasis brimming with life.

Institutionalized is when you are too used to the life somewhere,and instead of wanting to get out of that place,you start to fear the outside world altogether.And such 'disease' is common amongst the men,who have been too used to the daily routine lives of the military.So this article aims to reveal some of the tell tale signs that might suggest that you are too used to the daily routines of NS:

1)You wake up punctually at 5.30am everyday,weekday or not.
2)You remind your mother to conduct overturning drills whenever she is fetching
you somewhere.
3)You hate the direction Half-Left.
4)You dash into the nearest cover once you charge out of your mother's car.
5)You offered to be a sentry for your vehicle when your mother goes off to buy
groceries.
6)"Blue Stone" is the codeword for friends to visit your place.Any other
codewords would be disapproved,and your friends locked out.
7)You moved into your front lawn and sleep in a hole.
8)You hate the colour green.
9)You shout "contacted!" whenever a balloon bursts.
10)You have the urge to strip your friends on their birthday parties.
11)You suggested to your boss to have a Company Orderly Secretary.
12)You still use a pager.
13)You dont have a camera handphone.
14)You pack canned food and biscuits, whenever you are driving
15)You do AHS to you car while waiting for the lights to change.
16)You start every phone conversation with " send."
17)You have codenames for everyone.
18)You yell "Gas!Gas!Gas!" when somebody farts in the lift.
19)You direct the cab driver to turn left by poking him with a stick.
20)You cannot stop saying some form of vulgarity in every sentence.
21)You have an extra pair of underwear and socks wherever you go.
22)Your favourite brand of sneakers is New Balance.
23)You go NTUC expecting to pay your things with your IC.
24)You walk with your elbows locked everywhere.
25)You have a craving for green bean barley dessert.
26)You ask "How long you need" whenever anyone is late.
27)You boast to your girlfriend,telling her that you can strip a rifle in under
24 seconds,and if you can do it to her within a shorter period of time,she
should give you a Nights Off.
28)You force your family to take Malaria pills on holiday trips.
29)You secretly give your son a condom and asks him not to visit red-light
districts.
30)Your favourite song is the "Left toe,Right toe" book out song.
31)You shout "GOOD DAY!" after work.
32)You run and hide whenever a whistle blows.
33)You sweep every Friday.
34)You call food, "rations".
35)You shout the time whenever you jog pass someone.
36)You need to establish an arc of fire before you piss.
37)You EAT milo.
38)You still wonder who the hell came up with chicken pongtay rice.
39)You do EED whenever it starts to rain.
40)You shout "Victory!" with every mention of the number 40. VICTORY!