In Continuum.

Crooked Smile



Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies

You never looked back, you never did. The back of you disappeared around the corner, with your head never turning and inch back towards where i was standing. Your hand stayed in mine for a while then, as you turned to leave. It was as if your mind and body acted upon themselves while your hand belonged to a body of someone else's. It stayed with me for a split second, and the rest of yourself took hold and pulled it away from me. I had a great day, and an especially great night. It shouldn't have ended like this, it shouldn't have ended it in that way. The worst of all, i didn't even have anything to do with the back of you leaving me like that, and that made me feel worse than ever.

70% of what a person is trying to say is through his or her gestures, and being with you made me learn about yours. I know the difference between the you i know who doesn't have anything to say, and the you who doesn't know how to get around saying what you have in your mind. On the bus trip back, there was a body of chill that blasted me from the left. No, it is not your fault but your troubled mind, that i understood. You came closer to me as the bus kept on rumbling, and the softness of your hair against my cheek made me want to reach into that head and pluck out whatever that was making you upset. Your eyes rolled, and tears welled on the brink of your eyelids. I saw them but uttered not a word, because people were all around us and i didn't want those tears to fall, or even mine to do the same in that crowded bus. But there was this pain inside me as well, the way i always feel when you look that way.

Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness

I know there are certain things in your life right now, that you are trying to grasp. I am trying to grasp them myself too. But you are not alone in this because like we said at the very beginning, i hope that we can do everything together in life. I want to sit next to you on the sofa after a hard day's work and watch television. I want to shop for furnitures with you and i still do. I want to buy that salt and pepper set with you and place them on our dining table. I want to sleep with your on that pillow we saw at Takashimaya. I want to wake up in the morning with you by my side every day, and i want you to fill up that empty face I've always dreamed of as a child, that angelic figure looking down at me with jet black hair and in white flowy dress. She never had a face, faceless for twenty years until you came along. I want you to fill that permanently, i want you to be mine. I want you to stay here with me, and i want you to be in my dreams and out of it.

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

But all of that, all of what i said, doesn't matter if i do not know what is inside of you, what is it that you are facing now. I cannot stand myself, or rather I'd hate myself knowing that I have all but the true beauty that you hold inside. I don't want an empty vessel, just a person to hold but not know. That is why, I want to hear your problems, i want to hear your stories. I want to hear why you are upset, even when you have no idea how to put them across to me.

Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall

Because we are in this together, you and me. You might be upset along the way of finding yourself, you might even try to put on a smile that might seem crooked from where i look. But don't worry, i wouldn't mind that, nothing of those. I want to be here for you, even if it means that i have to - in the future - forsake the chance of buying furniture with you, sit on the sofa and watch television with you. I don't CARE any of those if i cannot at least make you believe in yourself once again.

Here, i offer my hands and heart to you. Put my hands to good use when you need somebody to hold, and my heart to good use when you need someone to know. This is how it is going to be between us, no matter how hard the road might be, no matter how crooked your smile is. This is you, and this is me. This is us, and in between that, nothing but a whole lot of love. Believe me, believe us, even if it is you that you do not. Us, that is the strongest bond in the world, those two letters. It is hard to believe, but trust me on this. I know, i really do. I've never been this sure about a relationship between two people before. This is real, this is true. This is solid, and believe me, we can get through this...and we will.

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now