In Continuum.

Me & The World



Perspectives differs with our age, and it changes with other aspects of our physical and mental growth. Like so many other aspects of the process, perspectives of the world differs between the age of five and say, the age of twenty one. That process is very much the same as your perspective on love, relationship, toys and other tangible or intangible objects. When you were in kindergarten or primary school, you probably preferred to hang around boys, play with boys during recesses and stuff like that. As you grow up, you tend to get closer to a girl, want to know them a little better and treat them a little better. Of course, the mentality of the little boys that used to hang around other little boys in the playground don't change very much even after a decade or two(If you know what i am talking about), but for most the process is like that. Girls turn from this zero-point playing bunch of creatures to subject of infatuation. Though we might not know why most of the time, that's how our perspectives change with our age.

Well, i remember a picture of me as a baby, standing on the edge of the cradle and smiling at the camera. The cameraman was probably my father, and i remember that picture very well. Myself in that blue bathing suit again, grabbing onto the metal railings on the side and looking as happy as ever. Of course, that must have been why my father wanted to document that moment, because they don't come very often. But anyway, that picture of me was reminded of when i was talking to my beau in the middle of the Serangoon Park tonight. The rain kept falling in strange waves tonight, coming and going without warning, a practical joke from high above.

Anyway, i was telling her this. When you are a kid - say, when you are three years old - the rest of the world to you is limited to the edges of the cradle. You remain in that space for the most part of the day, and the spinning planes and planets above your head represents the stars and the moon. Your area of activity revolves around whatever that you do within the confines of the cradle, and anything other than yourself is the rest of the world. The rest of the world at that age, ends after the metal railings, for me back then.

And as you grow a little older, when you are five or six years old, you venture out a little more into the world as adults know because you are feeling a little more curious and adventurous. You are then exposed to a whole bunch of different things around your house. The moving picture aka. television, the stove, the sofa, the view outside the window, the toilet, so many more. Of course, if you were like me when i was five years old, i was exposed also to the front lawn where my mother used to run that giant yellow-coloured lawn mower back and forth. My German Shepard would come over and sniff my butt all the time, and i remember back then i had a little battery powered jeep that i used to drive around the house. It was a big house really, and there was a tarmac road that surrounded it, but remained within the fences of the estate itself. It was a red jeep i remember, with stickers pasted all over the hood of the car. And that was the rest of the world to me - everything inside and outside of the house within the red-bricked fences of my home in Taiwan. The mountains, the expressway, the cars and the neighbours were the outer space, and not to mention the neighbours' kids being human-like aliens.

A little sidenote concerning my perspective of the world vs. outer space back then. I recall my very first plane ride, and it was to Singapore when i was five years old. My mother used that holiday trick on me back then, telling me that we were about to have a holiday in Singapore. Of course i was excited, because i have never been to a foreign country before, not to mention taking the plane was something that i have been dreaming of. I was on the verge of exploding at the airport, and i didn't take the tears in my auntie's eyes all too seriously because i thought they were merely being emotional about our departure. I remember comforting her by telling her that we won't be long, that we will be back in Taiwan soon. She played along of course, being too nice to break the heart of a lovely five year old.

On the plane i took the window seat of course, and stared out in the white fluffy clouds in confusion. Of course, i had not a doubt that the clouds were beautiful and fascinating. But this was my perspective back then: Every country is a planet, and that traveling from one country to another would be like traveling from one planet to another, through space. So it was strange of me to stare out of the window and see white and blue everywhere, instead of what the science fiction movies showed - black and infinite, with stars everywhere. That so-called 'holiday' turned out to be a full year, and i remember asking my mother why the holiday lasted so long, and she replied to me in that matter-of-fact way," We like it here". I cried.

As i grew up in Singapore, it was time for my school days. Being an alien to this country and hating the weather to the bones, i seldom ventured anywhere without my mother. The only places that i visited were the schools that i went to. I remained at home most of the time, and my mother had my hands in shopping malls and their toy sections most of the time. The one time i got lost in Hougang Mall, i screamed for help until the security almost called the police. But anyway, so two places that i go to at that age: School and Home. That was it. Everything else, was the rest of the world to me, the unknown and the frightful. And i had absolutely no intentions of going there anytime soon. No sir.

In Secondary School and JC, your vision expanded to the cyberspace, the contents of your newspaper and what the news provided you. That's the view of the world from your livingroom, though you venture now further from anywhere you've ever been. You spend most of your time in front of the television or the computer, and whatever that comes up ons-screen from the other side of the globe becomes a piece of the puzzle that forms the giant picture of "The World". Of course, for me i studied a lot on the world map my father gave to me when i was younger, but the map is after all a map, formed by lines and colours to differentiate countries and the different shadings to define contours. That was the rest of the world in two dimensions when i was younger, and other information gathered from different sources. The World merely existed as an idea to me when i was still in school, a vast idea i wasn't able to fully grasp, to be honest.

Now, the India trip opened up my eyes. I know i mentioned India in my posts numerous times, but like i said before, that trip changed my life. The seamless desert, the hills of sand that stretched endlessly into the horizon, the sky full of beautiful stars, the grandness of the Taj Mahal...Every one of those aspects and so many more, show me just how vast our world is, how beautiful it can be as well. The world does not revolve around my bed, my room, my home, my estate or my town, or even the country. The World is...THE WORLD. The World is everything that is other than yourself, and so much more. So much, so much greater as well.

So as you can see, as you grow older your perspective of the world becomes a little different. It becomes bigger, wider and much harder to comprehend at times. Your vision is expanded beyond your own imaginations, and you find yourself staring at the Earth from space, with your jaw hanging opened wondering just how VAST the so-called "Rest of the World" is. It is big, trust me on that. And every time the phase of your life leaps to another, you will find a change in your perspective of the world - finding the previous perspective to be a false one.

You might think that after telling you guys about the ever-expanding idea of the perspective of the world is definitive. That as we grow older and wiser, the world as we know will grow bigger and bigger, larger and larger until perhaps one day, our minds might not be able to comprehend the size of it all. I mean, there is only so much information our minds can process about a certain subject, right? But anyway, that's not the point though. Not the point at all.

With one phase gone and the other at hand, you tend to have different perspectives of the world, like i said. But it doesn't necessarily have to grow bigger and bigger too. The moment my life changed into the one i am living now - the moment i fell in love with my eskimo friend - the perspective of the world changed drastically. It no longer was about the stars of India, the deserts of the country, the world map, the internet, the country, the home, the room or the bed.

When i am in love my dearest,

my world,

is you, my love.

Because the old world,

doesn't matter anymore.

I love you,

my love;

my world;

my everything.