In Continuum.

Materialistic Desires

My materialistic desires can be overpowering and life-altering, and the latter is especially so when I am currently unemployed - or rather self-employed, a term I prefer to use - and this is definitely and most surely not the best time to have this sort of so-called desires overwhelming any person's life. But I guess there is no harm in whining and sulking about the fact that I still want this and that, and no matter how rich or how poor you are, money is always the problem. Always.

It isn't about how much you can afford in this world I always tell people, but how much is left after you afforded something. With the amount of money right now I can probably get a motorbike, and that is not even a problem. But the problem is always how much is left after you get it, the aftermath of a money-spending spree and the consequences afterwards. This is usually when the agonizing period of money-spending sets in, and you find yourself dreading that glossy piece of metal sitting in your garage, so spanking new and so beautiful and yet, the abyss to where all your money flowed to. You curse aloud into the heavens but nothing happens, just that overwhelming sensation of self-accusation, that guilt that sucks the life right out of you.

So I am trying to be controlled here, trying not to splurge my money like I used to back in the army days. Back then I had a steady income every month, and I earned every penny of it. Especially when the money is earned right out of the pocket of the government, you feel this especially vast urge to spend it on something - anything. I remember the first week of book out, I spent almost three hundred dollars on DVDs alone at HMV, and the worst part of all was that I didn't even feel guilty about it. I still don't of course, but at least my spending habits were relatively good, compared to my platoon-mates who have the ability to reduce the pay right down to double, or sometimes even single digits a week after the pay is out. Sometimes I do wonder what people can spend their money on, even if travel and normal everyday expenses are considered. Oh yes, that's right. Girlfriends and cigarettes.

So here is a couple of things on my 'I-really-want-them-but-I-guess-I-have-to-put-them-on-hold-for-a-while" list. Of course, for the most part of the list, it is dominated by books and DVDs, but then again I really live for this area of materialism, and not so much on fashion or the latest technological gadgets. So, here goes nothing:

1) Tender Is The Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
2) Cruising Paradise by Sam Shepard
3) The Short Stories of F. Scott Fitzgerald by F. Scott Fitzgerald
4) Letters of Virginia Woolf (All volumes)
5) At Swim-Two-Birds by Flann O'Brien
6) A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
7) Call It Sleep by Henry Roth
8) The Painted Bird by Jerzy N Kosinski
9) Memento DVD
10) Amores Perros DVD

Money makes the world go round, and mine as well. This is why people make counterfeits, this is why people risk it. I wonder if that sort of crime can be more accepted if the purpose is literary?