In Continuum.

Pinot

Maya," You know, can I ask you a personal question, Miles?"
Miles," Sure."
Maya," Why are you so in to Pinot? I mean, it's like a thing with you."
Miles," Uh, I don't know, I don't know. Um, it's a hard grape to grow, as you know. Right? It's uh, it's thin-skinned, temperamental, ripens early. It's, you know, it's not a survivor like Cabernet, which can just grow anywhere and uh, thrive even when it's neglected. No, Pinot needs constant care and attention. You know? And in fact it can only grow in these really specific, little, tucked away corners of the world. And, and only the most patient and nurturing of growers can do it, really. Only somebody who really takes the time to understand Pinot's potential can then coax it into its fullest expression. Then, I mean, oh its flavors, they're just the most haunting and brilliant and thrilling and subtle and... ancient on the planet."

--- Sideways (2004)

You know when a film is good when he opens up your eyes to a world you never truly cared about. And if it successfully coaxed you into having an interest in it, then it is a good film. Sideways explored certain aspects of the wine brewing industry I never knew about, and it was fascinating when they talked about wine tasting and the amount of work that went through the manufacturing process. It was a fascinating piece of film, aside from the brilliant screenplay and performances from the actors.

I have no prior knowledge about wine before this film. I think if I were to name the alcohol that I enjoy personally to the character of Miles, he'd have called me a "Dumbshit" like he did with his friend Jack, who asked him about why Pinot aren't red(I didn't know either). So as you can read above, Pinot is the sort of wine favored by Miles because of the delicacy involved in it's production, and the rarity of the fruit used to manufacture it. In areas with very specific climate and geography. That is how much details they put into wine making, because only the best of everything makes the best wine. No compromises.

I wonder who is going to be the Pinot in my life next, I wonder who are you and what you are doing right now. Standing at the balcony last night at 2 a.m. and tasting the salty air reminded me of the distant past, when I was hopeful and carefree about the future. Liberty smells salty, but most of all it smells great. I saw the cushions on the bench behind me, still there and not removed by my parents. They must have sat there in the morning next to each other drinking coffee and forgot to remove them. A married couple for twenty four years, I wonder how my father found his Pinot and how my mother found hers. In a special place, a place with rare climate and geography perhaps? Who are you my Pinot, who are you?

It is like this desperate hunt through a rain forest for a rare form of herb. As you are fighting your way through the thickets and the branches, in your mind you are imagining the way the leaves of the plant are drooping in the sunlight, and probably the way the flowers must have been blooming at that time of the year. So you trot on, always keeping a mental image in mind of the target you are looking for, no matter how difficult the hunt might be.

I picture you right now, going home from work or school and collapsing onto your bed, exhausted. Or talking with a close female friend of yours without a face, laughing. I picture your face buried into your palms as you ponder over your homework at a nearby cafe, and then returning home before dinner, walking through the front lawn and greeting your grandmother at the doorstep. You have a nice house, one with clean clothes fluttering in the afternoon breeze from bamboo poles. You have long hair, reaching halfway down your back and you prefer it this way than to tie them up into a bundle. And most of all, you have a beautiful smile. Always, a beautiful smile.

But you haven't got a face, not yet. I am still looking for this rarity, the one and only. I'm still not sure what I am looking for, but I'll know what when I see you I'm sure. For now, you wander the realms of my imagination without a face or a voice. Are you going to be somebody I already know, or somebody whom I have known? How about a person completely out of my social circle? I'd never know, and I can imagine the life you are leading now, and I wonder how our lives are going to intersect somewhere down the path of life, when I finally find you - whoever you are.

Oh, it'd be nice if you look like Catalina Sandino Moreno from Maria Full of Grace. She has very normal features, but placed together I think she is so beautiful. Far-fetched and wistful, but don't we all indulge ourselves in cheap thrills at times? No harm fantasizing and imagining it, just do not allow anything or anyone to distinguish that little light of hope. After all, I am only shattered, not destroyed. You can't do that, not you. Not to me, ever.