Avoidance
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Avoidance
The new condominium has been erected in the middle of town, rising up from the compacted dirt and the wasteland, a symbol of a brand new start for the residential development projects in town. The idea has been rejected by most of the Singaporeans, even the upper class citizens with an above average income. Even with their Mercedes, their BMWs, not a lot of people are willing to drive in and out of town with the gantries being placed all over the roads leading into town. That is not to mention the congestions that plague the streets day by day, and the idea of putting your Mercedes amidst a road choked with other fuming cars isn't the best idea in the world. But there it was, rising up from what was formerly a community park for Filipino maids, the brand new condominium in the middle of town. I don't remember seeing it the last time I was in town, still a vast collection of steel rods and loose bolts. Now it stands about seven or eight floors from the ground, next to it the glass tower of Wheelock's place stood, while on the other side the neon lights of Wisma Atria shone in the dusking skies. It has been a long time since I came to town, and the long avoidance of the sights and sounds. I was there only for Shen's birthday last Friday, and wouldn't have went there for any other voluntary reasons. Because the shadows in the corners are still deep, and the warmth on the straw chairs still lingers.
It began with a hatred for school kids, despite being amongst the ranks of those uniformed students only years ago. Walking through the streets of Orchard reminded myself of those days after school, when going to town automatically made you a 'cool' person. We were roaming around the snooker parlors and the cyber cafes, with a t-shirt worn over our uniforms to cover our school crests, breaking the rule of the age limit and skipping school at the same time. I was one of those kids that shot at pixelated enemies in the monitor, while peering over the top of the computer to watch out for policemen who raided these cyber cafes from time to time. The danger of being caught was present all the time, but that didn't stop us from breaking all the rules that school tried to instill in us. Those were the days, those were the days that are gone - for good, in a way. We were free, but always on the surface and never deep enough to experience 'life', with 'life' being so rooted to our being and soul. But things have been different from my perspective now, viewing those kids as a group of younger generation that has been trying too hard. Their ear studs, those tucked our shirts, the slur in their speeches, everything annoyed me immensely even if our encounters last for a split second on average.
That is not to mention the walls - the literal ones - closing in from all sites. People being pushed together forcefully by the walls around, a part of the urbanization process. Like the orientation in schools, it seemed like an attempt to make people feel closer to one another, decreasing the physical distances between one another. But then again, you start to wonder to yourself how successful it has been over the years, whether such an attempt has really worked for anybody at all. Amidst the crowd, with the air being sucked out from the top of our heads and the winds being blocked by the steel and the concrete, instead of being feeling closer to somebody, I usually feel like jamming my heel into the toes of some poor soul. I remember the blog entries that I made half a year ago, talking about how much I loved hanging around in town alone, visiting book stores alone, sip coffee alone, go shopping alone. I still appreciate the solitary life that I had then, but the closing walls in town are preventing the same kind of freedom that I experienced in the past.
With the changing of the skyline, I needed someone - or something - to rewrite the stories that I have written of the town. I needed a new set of memories, like a new brain, to delete away the past and to receive the future. I promised myself some time between the second last visit and the last, that the only reason I'd step into town again would be on a must-go basis. An invitation by friends for a dinner, a book that I want to buy, a DVD that I need to catch, a movie that I want to watch. Other than those, I am probably going to remain in the peripheral of things, hanging out in random cafes away from the bustling towns, the crowd and all the roaring noises.
It's that smell you get when you step into a new house, the moment you step into the house. The smell of new paint on the wall, with that of drill dust being sprinkled everywhere about the wooden flooring. You want to buy new furniture to fill up the empty spaces, a bunch of friends over for a housewarming party, a complete wash-up of the floors and the walls to take away the smell in the air. I guess what I want to say, is that I am glad to have these friends at hand. They are there to replace the old, create the new, and make the present worth living. The following are some of the pictures we took while being at Island Cafe last Friday, as we went out of control with the camera. Thanks guys, for your foolishness and existence, as strange as it may sound.
The new condominium has been erected in the middle of town, rising up from the compacted dirt and the wasteland, a symbol of a brand new start for the residential development projects in town. The idea has been rejected by most of the Singaporeans, even the upper class citizens with an above average income. Even with their Mercedes, their BMWs, not a lot of people are willing to drive in and out of town with the gantries being placed all over the roads leading into town. That is not to mention the congestions that plague the streets day by day, and the idea of putting your Mercedes amidst a road choked with other fuming cars isn't the best idea in the world. But there it was, rising up from what was formerly a community park for Filipino maids, the brand new condominium in the middle of town. I don't remember seeing it the last time I was in town, still a vast collection of steel rods and loose bolts. Now it stands about seven or eight floors from the ground, next to it the glass tower of Wheelock's place stood, while on the other side the neon lights of Wisma Atria shone in the dusking skies. It has been a long time since I came to town, and the long avoidance of the sights and sounds. I was there only for Shen's birthday last Friday, and wouldn't have went there for any other voluntary reasons. Because the shadows in the corners are still deep, and the warmth on the straw chairs still lingers.
It began with a hatred for school kids, despite being amongst the ranks of those uniformed students only years ago. Walking through the streets of Orchard reminded myself of those days after school, when going to town automatically made you a 'cool' person. We were roaming around the snooker parlors and the cyber cafes, with a t-shirt worn over our uniforms to cover our school crests, breaking the rule of the age limit and skipping school at the same time. I was one of those kids that shot at pixelated enemies in the monitor, while peering over the top of the computer to watch out for policemen who raided these cyber cafes from time to time. The danger of being caught was present all the time, but that didn't stop us from breaking all the rules that school tried to instill in us. Those were the days, those were the days that are gone - for good, in a way. We were free, but always on the surface and never deep enough to experience 'life', with 'life' being so rooted to our being and soul. But things have been different from my perspective now, viewing those kids as a group of younger generation that has been trying too hard. Their ear studs, those tucked our shirts, the slur in their speeches, everything annoyed me immensely even if our encounters last for a split second on average.
That is not to mention the walls - the literal ones - closing in from all sites. People being pushed together forcefully by the walls around, a part of the urbanization process. Like the orientation in schools, it seemed like an attempt to make people feel closer to one another, decreasing the physical distances between one another. But then again, you start to wonder to yourself how successful it has been over the years, whether such an attempt has really worked for anybody at all. Amidst the crowd, with the air being sucked out from the top of our heads and the winds being blocked by the steel and the concrete, instead of being feeling closer to somebody, I usually feel like jamming my heel into the toes of some poor soul. I remember the blog entries that I made half a year ago, talking about how much I loved hanging around in town alone, visiting book stores alone, sip coffee alone, go shopping alone. I still appreciate the solitary life that I had then, but the closing walls in town are preventing the same kind of freedom that I experienced in the past.
With the changing of the skyline, I needed someone - or something - to rewrite the stories that I have written of the town. I needed a new set of memories, like a new brain, to delete away the past and to receive the future. I promised myself some time between the second last visit and the last, that the only reason I'd step into town again would be on a must-go basis. An invitation by friends for a dinner, a book that I want to buy, a DVD that I need to catch, a movie that I want to watch. Other than those, I am probably going to remain in the peripheral of things, hanging out in random cafes away from the bustling towns, the crowd and all the roaring noises.
It's that smell you get when you step into a new house, the moment you step into the house. The smell of new paint on the wall, with that of drill dust being sprinkled everywhere about the wooden flooring. You want to buy new furniture to fill up the empty spaces, a bunch of friends over for a housewarming party, a complete wash-up of the floors and the walls to take away the smell in the air. I guess what I want to say, is that I am glad to have these friends at hand. They are there to replace the old, create the new, and make the present worth living. The following are some of the pictures we took while being at Island Cafe last Friday, as we went out of control with the camera. Thanks guys, for your foolishness and existence, as strange as it may sound.
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