In Continuum.

Jenna Fisher as Pam Beesley

This, is Jenna Fischer. Or, more commonly known, as Pam Beesley from The Office. I like Pam Beesley, she is nice. Pam likes to paint with water colors, she hates it whenever a man sings in a high-pitched voice, and she is the receptionist at a paper company called Dunder Mifflin. She has something for everybody, everyone loves Pam because she's just the way that she is. Looking at her, she is the perfect receptionist, simply because of how likable she looks. Everything can happen to you before your day begins at the office. You might have been caught in a jam, hit a lamp post, lost your house keys on your way to work and still be cheered up at the door, because Pam Beesley is there to greet you every morning. It's just nice to have someone like her around the office, and I am sure Jim Halpert agrees with me on that. 

Jim Halpert is a sales representative at Dunder Mifflin, and Pam is his accomplice whenever he tries to pull a prank of Dwight Schrute, the company freak who keeps a pepper spray under his desk and a pair of nun-chucks. Jim likes Pam, and Pam likes Jim. But here's the problem, Pam is engaged to Roy, the warehouse guy, and has been the case for the past three years. I have just given you a rundown of The Office from season one right through the middle of season two, so you should stop reading this entry if you want to avoid any spoilers. Anyway, the spoilers continue. Roy isn't the most perfect fiancee in the world, but he is, after all, Pam's college sweetheart. It'd be wrong to leave him for Jim, but at the same time she does feel something very strongly for Jim. At the end of season two, Jim confesses his feelings to Pam despite the wedding coming up in June, but Pam rejected him due to her responsibilities. So Jim, struck by depression and rejection, decided to take up the job up in corporate, and he left the Scranton branch at the end of the second season. Pam, however, calls off the ending afterwards, but it was already too late for her. At corporate, Jim falls for his new co-worker, Karen Filippelli, and the situation was made even more awkward when the two branches merged and the three of them were forced to remain in the same office space. End, of season three. 

I've always liked Pam Beesley in the first two seasons, I loved the way she interacted with Jim and their little mindless talks to get each other through the day. It was enjoyable to watch them on screen, even though they may be talking about the most pointless things. Pam is likable, because she not only is the so-called hottest girl in the Scranton branch, but she also has that kind of schoolgirl dream that appeals to a lot of guys. There is that innocence, and at the same time a kind of mischief in her eyes whenever she is trying to pull a prank on Dwight, it's a joy to see her really. But as of late, my impression of Pam has changed dramatically, and I've found myself to be rooting for Karen, rather than the star couple of the show whom the audience should be rooting for instead. I can't help myself, I find myself thinking more from the perspective of Karen, rather than sympathizing with the Pam and Jim dilemma. I cannot help it, but I guess enough is enough when it comes to seeing a girl who cannot make up her mind about her feelings. Because I know, I know, that you not only hurt yourself with your indecision, but everybody else involved as well.

She has become really whiny as of late, trying to make a decision about her feelings but never brave enough to take the first step. She is always telling the camera what she should do, but she never actually does it well enough at all. She went back to Roy for a while, then managed to screw things up in the bar when she confessed one issue too many. Then she tries to go back to Jim again, but this time Jim is already with Karen, so things cannot be changed any longer. So she is just like this ping pong ball being hit around the table, bouncing around between two wooden rackets and never really staying still on either side. You understand why she is feeling the way she is feeling, but sometimes it just gets a little tiring to see her always sitting on the fence. This is not a review of the television show, but really a review of how real and raw the show is in the depiction of love in reality. The truth is, there are just too many decisions that cannot be made, and as a result it hurts all the other people involved in your indecision. They always say that love is a deal that is unfair from the very start, but you really don't have to cause hurt and pain to someone else, someone like Karen.

Maybe that's why I sort of prefer Karen more than Pam now, despite the fact that Pam still looks better in my opinion. Karen has that whole office lady package going for her, always in her nice blouses and her green eyes are always so electrifying. But there is always that something missing in Karen, and her character always feels so one dimensional. Then again, perhaps that is why I like her a little more in the later episodes, because she has this one goal in the whole Jim and Karen relationship, and that is to make things work. It's that simplicity in her life that appealed to me perhaps, a simplicity I only hope to be applicable in my real life to be honest. There aren't a lot of people who can make up their decisions and say "I am going to make things work", and actually put effort in doing so. Even Jim gave up on Karen at the end and went back to Jim, which I feel to be terribly unfair to Karen. I mean, come on! She moved from New York to Scranton for him, and he dumps her because he couldn't make up his mind either? Poor Karen, and in a way, poor me.

It's supposed to be a sitcom, it's supposed to be a comedy. It is supposed to be something you watch at the end of the day to get your mind off unwanted thoughts of the day. But I guess there are just times when the drama in these comedies become too real, and you start to think about how the characters' experiences are related to yours one way or another. I cannot tolerate Pam's indecision, the way she broke up a perfectly well relationship because she couldn't make up her mind at the very beginning. There is always that moment, the moment when you tell yourself that you can do this, that you can resist it. But we always fail, and we always let ourselves down by finding out that our will really isn't as strong as we hoped it to be. I bet Pam had that moment as well, the moment whereby she thought that it'd be better to move on in life, to get over things. But did she, really? Not really. She got back with Jim, that's what happened in the show, that's what happened to me.

I'm sorry Pam, but until the writer's strike ends and a new script comes along to redeem you, I don't think I can bring myself to root for you any longer. I still enjoy the both of you plotting against Dwight in the office, but I don't see how I can look at Jim and yourself and feel good about things. There is just something wrong, something unethical about the way you guys are together. Or, am I really just seeing Pam as the ex, and Jim as her new love? Here we go again, here we go thinking too much and too deeply into everything. If only Karen is a real life person in my life, then maybe two broken people can find a life together in the ruins. They always say that disaster relationships do not last, and by that I mean a relationship that grew out of a catastrophe. Like asking for the girl next to you on a crashing plane to marry you if the both of you survive, only to find out that the plane is back on track and you guys are back on thirty thousand feet five minutes later. Such relationships will never work, but at least we are clear about what we need to do, what we want to do. We do not hurt anybody else but ourselves if things do not work out, we do not hurt others because we are too selfish to think. 

I really love you, Pam. I do. I miss you, too. Do come back to the show, do come back into my life. Jim's nice, he really is. But I miss that innocence you had, I miss the way you reminded me of the kind of girl that I'd like to have, instead of the girl that I actually had - nasty thought, that one. I am keeping my fingers crossed for season four, hoping that your relationship is going to crash land somehow and die on the runway. Because that is the only way I might fall for you all over again, then maybe you will come back to me again. Am I being too metaphorical, am I being overly analytical? Maybe I don't need a Pam in my life, just Jan who loves me for no apparent reason, or a Kelly who loves the idea of a long term relationship. At least she'd try whatever means possible to make things work, at least she knows what to do. You didn't, and you never will. I love you, and I hate you so much, so much. Why did you have to leave, love?