In Continuum.

So this is what we are going to do George. We are going to take the MRT from here all the way into town. Yes, MRT, it's like the Tube, but a whole lot cleaner. Not to mention, a whole lot safer too. You really don't need to grab that bag of yours so tightly, no one is going to mug you when the train goes into a dark tunnel or anything. Anything is punishable by death after all, you could be hanged, whipped, whipped some more, or worse. Is that chewing gum that is in your mouth, didn't the people at the customs notice? They usually notice these little trivial things, they don't like chewing gums in this country, it's banned here. You didn't know? Didn't you read my email, the one I sent you? Yeah, the one with the list of things that you cannot do in Singapore? I know it was more than one hundred megabytes, but I told you that it was important. What if you get arrested for possessing packets of chewing gums or untaxed cigarettes? You might get us into a whole lot of trouble just by doing that, I tell you. Yeah, they don't allow foreign cigarettes here, only cigarettes with horrific images of rotten flesh on the box. Yeah, you know, people with half their faces eaten away by virus or rotten teeth, something like that?

Anyway, here's the MRT station, watch your step on the escalator though. As you can see, people here don't really care to stand to their left, they just kind of stand wherever they want. What if you are rushing for time? You either snake through these people, shove violently through them, or just jump down from either sides. People here don't really care about the, that sticker right there. Anyway, we are going down this green line here, all the way down to downtown Singapore, and we should be able to get a seat in the MRT at this end of the line. But try to rush into the train as fast as possible anyway, because that old lady over there isn't going to let you stand a chance. Watch out for that umbrella, that is the common weapon for any elderly Singaporean. They'd wave it around when they need to, and their shopping bags become like battle ramps to push their ways through the crowd. In a Singapore MRT station at peak hours, it is to kill or be killed. Yeah, it's like the African wilderness George, perhaps even worse. If you are old, you are not spared a seat either, you just have to stand there - oh, the train is here, see those old people? They won't stand a chance. Thankfully you are a caucasian, it helps to be white. There, a seat! 

Take a look around, George, this is how the whole country is like, right in this train. We have the businessman over there on his iPhone, rushing for time and sending out e-mails after e-mails, afraid to lose a client. Then we have that misunderstood teenager over there, with his hair pulled down over his face and head-banging to some emo song in his iPod. There's that geeky looking boy next to the door, that bag of his makes anvils look like pillows don't you think? Just look at the amount of stress written all over his face, then take a look at that mother over there in the corner. Her kids are completely out of control, and she can't do anything about it. Then there's that guy on that far side, that horrible music you mentioned just now is coming from his cellphone. Yes, people in Singapore play loud music over their cellphones for reasons unknown, I have yet to figure that one out either. It is uniquely Singapore, kind of like the slogan you read all over the airport if you noticed. Yeah, those colorful posters with people smiling, that big ferris wheel thing and fireworks. Don't go to the ferris wheel thing though, it is a tourist trap. Oh wait, actually don't go anywhere that requires you to pay for tickets, it is probably a tourist trap. 

So here we are, Orchard MRT station. Quick! Squeeze! Get yourself out as fast as possible! Yeah, that's kind of what you have to do every time you get out of a train, people outside are not going to let you out first. People are always rushing for something, keep that in mind. Yeah, I don't like it either, but that is how this society works - like some giant ant farm underneath the ground, or something. So anyway, that's that infamous blind fellow I was telling you about, he plays the same songs over and over again on his keyboard in that underpass, and has been doing that for as long as this stretch of road has been in existence. Now, let me warn you George, I know you are going to expect some metropolis when you exist this MRT station, but let me warn you that Orchard Road is not New York City, though it pretty much has the same functions. This is, after all, a road, and it literally is just a stretch of road. So here we are, this is Orchard Road, and no, I don't know where are the flowers. There are a lot of trees though, they are here for the Christmas lights later on in the year anyway. Lights tend to look better in trees, it supposedly makes the city looks more lively - it really doesn't. So, let's take this point as the starting point, point A. If we keep walking in that direction...yes, the direction of that tall building over there, we are going to reach point B in no time. Point B is going to be the end of Orchard Road, so here we go. 

See, I told you we didn't take very long. By the way, I know you love to smoke but, let's keep that in your pocket until we get to the hotel, shall we? I don't want a bunch of people suited in black to throw you into a van and then drive you away. Don't laugh man, things like that happen every once in a while. You hold a sign that is against the government, you get bagged. You say something in public that is against the government, you are bagged. You do anything that is against the government, you are bagged. No, we are not talking about breaking the laws here. No, we are not even talking about peaceful protests, people can't do that here either. You literally get trampled by a horde of riot police for holding signs, and then you get jailed for one day and spat out onto the streets your name in the blacklist. So yeah, don't smoke those cigarettes, and you can't do bungee jumping either. Yes, you can't, and remember those fire-crackers they'd set off in Taiwan and China during Chinese New Year? Yep, that's right. Surprise, surprise. Welcome to 1984. 

Yeah, they are all smiling at you naturally, you are supposed to be a foreigner, you are the one with all the cash. Look, this is how things work around here: if you are a foreigner, people are nicer to you around here, and they hope that you'd go back home and tell all your friends so that they'd also want to come here. It's true, they won't ever treat me the same. Anyway, yeah you might want to loosen that tie of yours, it's not going to get any cooler around here. Actually, I take that back, it does get a whole lot cooler, only when it starts to rain like no tomorrow. And, it happens quickly so, you can never smell it coming. So, let's head towards somewhere, we can have a drink and maybe eat something nice along the way, I know a few restaurants we could go to. Oh, no, they don't exactly sell local food...you prefer local food? Well, I don't know, I wouldn't want to bring you through the horrors. I've been here for a long time George, and I still can't get used to the kind of delicacies they sell here. This is how I see it: if you can't get used to a certain country's food after seventeen years, you don't belong in this country. I don't suppose I belong but, hey you are the guest. Let's help you experience some local delights. 

This, is chicken rice. It's probably the best thing around actually, if I do say so myself. I do think that there is something in that secret sauce, but other than that, pretty bland. This, is fish ball noodle. It is fish balls with noodles, which may taste like rubber band at times, depending on your luck. The interesting thing is, if you can find it in this hawker center, you can find it in every single hawker center in the country. Yeah, they call it hawker center, like the bird but with the "ER" at the back. They also call it coffee shop at times, really because people go there to have coffee. Anyway, here's the thing, the variety sucks. You find this food here, you pretty much find it everywhere around the country, zero variety. Oh, don't trust that line over there, the wait is totally not worthy it and completely hyped up for no reasons at all. Oh, yeah, there are good food here, but they are just not found here. No, I don't know why either, perhaps things are just cheaper around here, which is true. Things are just a lot more affordable here, so people like to flock here during lunchtimes, dinnertimes, but I've never been a fan. I don't know why. Well, enough about me, and enough about all the bad things I feel about this place.

The truth is, George, this is a good country with a lot of good people. Yeah, people are rather obedient here, they follow the rules and they don't cut lines. They do press their car horns a little too freely but, they are good people, you know? People here may feel cold when you are on the streets, people who give you cold stares and think you to be some madman if you talk to them out of the blues. But, you know, they are really awesome people if you get to know them. Some of the most amazing people I know are also from this place, born and brought up here. We have clean streets, safe streets, you can club until four in the morning and not get mugged. It's true, you know, it's really safe around here. The closest I have ever got to getting mugged was when my shoes got stolen. Everything is pretty straight forward here in a way, everything is simple. You work, you get money, you have a good life, people respect you. The government is always going to be behind you every step of the way. You might say that they are spoon feeding but, well, I like the people here, a few specific ones to be honest. It's this love hate relationship that is making it so hard to make some decisions, you know? That dilemma I told you about. It's so easy, and so hard to leave this place. 

So anyway, we have a couple of hours left before you have to take off again. We have a couple of other bars and clubs to visit, if you want, a lot of places for shopping and, if you want Starbucks, it is everywhere. It feels just like home here doesn't it, all the Starbucks and all the McDonald's here. But you know, there are places in your own home that you don't want to be in everyday. You know, the gap between your wall and the cupboard where the dust gathers, or the storeroom where you just kind of dump your old stuff. You don't want to go there because, sometimes it brings back memories or it just chokes you very badly. And you cough, you cough some more, and sometimes you cannot stop because things just become so damn suffocating. But there are aspects that it feels at home, and feels like an alien planet altogether. Paint the streets red and you'd see Mars, for sure. Anyway, let's get a drink, think later. I am sure there are things you want to run away from yourself, so let's drink our heads silly and, hope that we can catch your plane when the time is up. Cheers, George.