In Continuum.

I think there are a lot of ways to get famous these days, and you no longer have to have the talents any longer. I think how famous you are depended on how talented you are in the past, no matter what industry you are talking about. The film industry and the music industry for example, all banked on people who were great at what they did. Those people were why people used the expression "stars" to describe these celebrities. They are truly like "stars" in the skies, faraway and distant, and yet admirable to no end. But these days, you don't have to be good at anything to become famous. In fact, you could be really bad at something and still be famous, just as long as enough people enjoy what you do over the internet. There is such a thing called "internet celebrity" right now, when it is possible to be famous on the internet just by being, well, pretty. Or you could make lame videos of yourself doing stupid things to get famous. If you have a giant shredding machine, you could also gain some fame by shredding really large things, like a piano or a fridge. Or make a video of you crying in a funny way about another celebrity, or sing in a funny way that no one has ever seen before (don't forget the strange song title). In the worst case scenario - that is, if all else fails - make a sex tape. Or, you could just jump to that, it is a sure win. 

I am sure you have heard of, or seen people going to great lengths just to get famous. Everything from having your nipples being beaten by a crocodile, to urinate into an electric fence, to post a video of you pulling a prank on your friend while he is passed out, to post a gallery of you posing in front of the mirror completely naked. People do all sorts of things to get their fifteen minutes of fame. Actually, let's make it two minutes of fame, because even those two minutes are in hot demand right now. Two minutes is better than no minutes, and fifteen minutes is just way too long for anybody retain a long enough attention on just about anything. So, two minutes is just enough, or the length of an average video on the internet. Do something outrageous or crazy and make sure you hit about one million viewers over at YouTube - and you will be famous. Yet, I've never expected anybody to pull the stunt that Lashundra pulled to her classmates in her high school. She actually told people that she was possessed by God, and I think that is the mother of all desperate attempts to get famous. I think it is cheaper than, say, joining American Idol when you obviously cannot sing. I think trying to sing, even if you can't, is a legit way of getting famous. Faking a divine intervention - not really, no.

So let's put things into perspective here, and see if things work out logically by the end of this entry. First of all, I'm not sure why anybody in the high school actually believed that she was possessed by, well, anything at all really. When you hear a man on the streets blabbering about the end of the world, everybody dying, or at times in a strange language you do not understand, we pretty much assume the very same thing like any other sane person would assume: he is crazy. I'm not sure why the students in the school jumped from "she is crazy" to "she is indeed possessed by God like she claimed she did". It is quite a big jump, but people swallowed up her crap anyway. It amuses me so slightly, just how gullible people can be. Wouldn't it be fun to go onto the streets tomorrow and tell people how they are going to die, and then add a bit of strange made-up language into the mix just to mess with people. The first thing that is going to happen to you is to be handcuffed and arrested for disturbing the peace in a public environment. It is going to be a perfectly legitimate reason to arrest you, because you are disrupting the peace of the people that passed you by on the street. You are not predicting the future, or some kind of messenger from God. He isn't talking to us through some dimwit imbecile like you. You are just making everything up. 

It's kind of funny, also, how the people who believed her never actually considered the usage of alcohol or drugs when she started sputtering her "tongues". By the way, the expression "speaking in tongues" merely means that a person is speaking in a language that you may not understand, like Latin or Greek, or something. If it isn't a real language, you are not speaking in tongues, you are making things up. Anyway, it's strange how those believers never actually considered the fact that Lashundra could have very well gave herself a generous dosage of drugs before she came to school, or was suffering from some kind of hangover from the night before. If I am not wrong, which I doubt that I am about this, alcohols and drugs could sometimes mess with your head quite a bit. Have you ever heard the words of a drunken man? They kind of sound like they are delirious don't they, the way they stumble here and there while trying to articulate a sentence when they can't. They kind of also sound like they are speaking in tongues, and talks as if he knows anything about everything in the world, right? By anything and everything, sometimes they would go into vivid details on how you would die, when you would die, exactly like what Lashundra did in the classroom. I'm just surprised that those people never actually considered the fact that maybe she was just stoned, high, or both. 

For argument's sake, let's just assume that she was not on drugs, and she was not on alcohol, and she was completely sober on the day that she was supposedly possessed. Now, put yourself in the shoes of the Devil and/or God, and think about it. You wake up one day, and you decide that you want to tell the students in a random high school in America about how they are going to die, and when they are going to die. You don't really know why you want to do it, but you can do anything you want because you are the Devil or God, whichever you prefer in this assumption. So, you want a way to transmit that idea to the desired targets in this high school, how would you make your presence and message known to them? If it was up to me, I'd probably just tell them straight away through their thoughts, like the voice in the back of their heads that they are about to die. Or maybe I will leave a note, appear in a dream, burn a bush, or part their coffee while they are just about to drink it. I'd perform some kind of miraculous act just to make them listen to me, and not transmit everything through... a classmate? Wait, why would I want to do that? This person doesn't seem very credible, and she surely doesn't seem to be the kind I'd be choosing to convey my holy (or unholy) messages! 

I think especially in the case of the Devil, you'd have to be pretty smart to be the enemy of God. I think that applies for humans too, that you have to be pretty damn smart in order for you to be a formidable enemy. As evil as Osama Bin Laden is, he is probably a pretty smart man if I may say so myself. I mean, he was smart enough to plan all the terrorist attack, down to the littlest details and then succeeding in the end. Given, he probably had a lot of help, but you can't pull something like that off by being a complete idiot. So, just like you have to be smart in order to be America's most wanted, you have to be really smart to be God's most wanted as well. If you are smart enough to deceive the world that you never existed, then I am pretty sure your human resource skills would be fairly good, or at least decent. If I am the Devil, I'd probably pick somebody with a wide enough influence, someone who is substantial enough to spread my message in the most efficient and persuasive method possible. I'd pick a politician maybe, or the leader of a religion. I'd probably corrupt their minds or, the easier way out, possess their bodies. Seriously, am I going to be stupid enough to pick a random girl from a high school in Mississippi called Lashundra, which isn't even a legitimate name?

But, of course, Lashundra doesn't believe that she was possessed by the Devil. She felt that she was possessed by God, which makes things even more absurd than it already is. So she is saying that the all mighty being that lives in the skies chose her, of all people, to be the one to bear her message? I think if I am God, though I am clearly not, I'd probably pick something more important to announce to the world, you know. Like, I'd probably announce to the world the date and time that the world would be ending, or a coming drought or famine. Maybe I'd warn people of great balls of fire falling from the skies, or that it is going to rain boots in two weeks - something along the lines of that, which are actually more substantial. You don't tell people that they are going to die, WE KNOW! I know that I am going to die, I know my friends are all going to die, I know my parents are going to die, I know my dog is going to die. Everything dies, so that is a given for the most part. Going around telling people that they are dying is like predicting that they are never going to stop breathing until they die. And as for the "how", you really only need a really bombastic method of death in order for them to believe. Like, you are going to choke on a frog while being in a sinking boat in the middle of a reservoir. If that happens, they believe you even more than they already do. If that doesn't, they are relieved, and happy that you warned them about it. 

God clearly did not possess her to tell them the obvious. I'd imagine Him to have a lot more important things to tell the world. Like, "STOP FIGHTING!" or "STOP KILLING EACH OTHER", or something along the lines of that. And, if I am God, I'd probably just tell those people straight away, and not leave it up to an ordinary high school girl with half a brain screwed on in the wrong direction. Or I could break through the clouds, because that'd be way more dramatic. Either way, my theory is that our dear Lashundra was probably never possessed by a demon, the Devil, God, or any of that. She was probably stoned, high, both, or just wanted to get famous somehow. She probably thought, maybe somebody from halfway around the world would blog about me because he believes in what happened to me - that'd be great! I'd be, like, so famous! Seriously, if your classmates believed you, that doesn't mean that everybody else in the world would. I happen to  not believe anything that you said, and you were probably just some attention seeking imbecile who wants to make the headlines. Here are some tips: rob a bank, kidnap a baby, run around naked, run around naked some more, make a sex tape, or join the American Idol auditions. A divine intervention? That's so, like, 16th century.