In Continuum.

Deferment is unsuccessful, that is the message that I got on my cellphone this evening. To tell you the truth, I was more than just a little disappointed. Every single year, I have to put my studies on the balance, right at the mercy of the SAF. The military in Singapore has a chokehold on everybody, and it does not intend to let anybody go anytime soon. The truth is, we are all sick and tired of this leash being tied around our necks, and the way it tugs at us and asking us to go back to its jaws when we have clearly done our part for two years of our lives. I am tired, because I was never built to be a soldier, but I tucked my chin into my chest and I ran through all the obstacles that the army threw at me from all directions. I tried my very best to live through those two years, and I came out from the other side a different and better person than the one that went in. In retrospect, the army to me wasn't so much about patriotism or the defense of this country, and it is much less about the future of this country because you do not want to depend your safety on the people that is in charge of the military right now. They are merely a bunch of people with high ranks, and they are the best at putting up shows to fool the public into believing that they are better than they truly are.

I saw the two years as a training program, a lesson that punched me right in the guts and woke me up from my teenage slumber. I appreciate what it has done for me, and recognize the fact that it was an important part of my life - I get it. Two years is more than enough for anybody to realize that something has changed our lives forever, and I doubt that any of us really needed to be reminded on a yearly basis that we are a still under the control of this greater authority. Not for one moment in my two years did I see it as an obligation, a responsibility, or a duty of mine to protect this country at all. I saw it as boot camp, something crucial that I just had to go through in order to become a better person on an individual level. It wasn't so much about duty, honor and country, and it certainly wasn't about pride either. It wasn't about a sense of selflessness, but the a selfish act of improving on my own character. I used the army, and I didn't allow it to inject into my mind what it wants us to believe. We are not commodities of the army, but we are individuals that are different from one another, who believes in radically different things, and we do not all serve the country in the very same way. Even the full-time service people are not there because they "love the country". It's a stable job with a stable pay, and in times like these, it becomes an easy option.

Every single year, they pick the most optimal time to call back everybody for a two week training in a camp far far away. They pick this period of time because most of the local university students are on their summer holidays, and most of them do not have a reason to say no to the military's demands. The rest of the people who are working right now, similarly, have to put down their day jobs and go back to camp for this two week training program. However, not everybody fall nicely into that category at all, because people like me are studying overseas, locally. I am studying in a program whereby we do not have summer breaks, and we are not having our holidays right now. We are having full-time studies at this point in time, and the term "summer semester" doesn't mean that it is supposed to be more laid back and chilled out either. Everything is crammed up and squeezed together in this small time frame, and missing out on two weeks is pretty much three letter grades gone, if you have to put it into perspective. That is a substantial and detrimental damage to any college student's education life, and it'd make sense for the military to at least understand their predicament and, well, allow them to defer the training - right?

That is not the case though, and it just seems like the military is purposefully making it difficult for students like myself to defer. I mean, it's not like I am trying to run away - I am right here! I am not finding invalid arguments for my deferment, as if I have to stay home to take care of my invisible children or something. I have a full-time school to attend to, and two weeks out of the summer semester is pretty much a death sentence. I do have a more important life to attend to, and that is my university life at hand. I did not choose to attend the summer semester, and if I was given a choice I'd probably not want to do it because of how stressful it is. I was not given a choice at the very beginning as to whether or not I wanted to take it, and everybody in my course are going through the very same thing. It is an express course to get us to graduate sooner than an average college student, and that is why we have week-long breaks at best. We do not have very long holidays because of that, and now you want to eat into our school because you think that local students taken priority over us? What gives them such privilege over us?

Here is the big picture, and I just want to put it out there for everybody to know. I have five weeks of school to finish two full modules, and I am already two weeks into those five that I previously mentioned. That also means that by missing two more weeks, I'd have a hell lot of materials to catch up on, not to mention the fact that my final papers are in a week right after my training in camp. I have about sixteen chapters to catch up on for the finals in one week, and I seriously doubt if I am able to do that if I am going to spend two weeks running around in the forest and trying to shoot at papers stuck to wooden boards. Within this two weeks that I will be missing, there'd also be a panel discussion where my role as a panel judge would be required, and the grades would stand for 20% of the total grades for COM 441. Also, I will have a second quiz within this period of time for PSY 333 that stands for 10%, not to mention the fact that my mid-terms for COM 441 is going to stand for 30% of my total grades. So let's see, if I skip the panel discussion and the mid-terms, that is pretty much half of my grades gone in that one module, and that is not to mention all the little stuff that are going to come in between.

But the military does not see all those as being valid reasons for me to defer. They seem to think that we do not have the right to defer because we are not from local universities, that we are one step down from the local students and the fact that they are in more prestigious schools. At least that is how it seems to be like, the way that they sometimes give privileges to students studying only in local colleges and not the ones abroad, like me. They do not think those numbers and percentages mean anything, and that they are not good enough reasons to tell somebody to come back next year instead when I won't be schooling at all. I have school, and it isn't something that is unusual or out of this world. School is something that I have been attending since I was five years old, and everybody goes through ten years of compulsory education no matter who you are. It is not a new idea, and it is all about improving oneself and trying to enrich yourself through education. I really don't see why my predicament cannot be seen as a major problem at all, and a valid reason for me to defer. In fact, throwing in the school fees that I have paid for the summer semester doesn't seem to be enough, and it's not like I will be compensated either.

To put things into perspective, if I divide the semester up into classes, every class is going to cost an upward of one hundred dollars each. Are they going to pay for my missed classes at all - no. They are not going to bother because you don't have a job like everybody else, which means that they have no reason to pay you back anything. Also, they are not going to pay for my cab fares to the military camp in the middle of nowhere because, well, they cannot be bothered. The camp has no cabs, and buses seldom ever reach that side of Hell unless they have to. Nothing ever reaches there unless you try to find it, and it is just such a dreadful place to go to. If I am somehow allowed to book in and out, it is going to cost me a significant amount of money that nobody is going to pay me back. Also, being allowed to book in and out is not going to help with my studying, because a high key exercise is going to involve a lot of outfields, and I am not going to be able to study in proper while I am in there! It saddens and angers me that the military of this country does not see education of every young individual as being important at all! They seem to disregard the fact that we have a school to attend to, and they almost seem like they WANT to make it difficult for us!

What Naz said on his blog about this whole shenanigan is true: it seems like they revel in messing up your life. They make it so difficult for you to get your deferment, and when you do they have you go through more years of this bullshit just because they can. They are saying "fuck your education!", and all of that just because we have to prepare for a war that will never ever happen to Singapore. It isn't so much because Singapore is not worth defending, because I am sure that it is. Yet, at the same time, you shouldn't expect everybody to want to defend the country in the very same way. Given the choice, I'd much rather stay at home and defend my own family from the outside intruders with pots and pans if I have to than to die outside in the dirt and be forgotten. I'd much rather be fighting with pots and pans than those badly maintained weapons in the armories. If you have ever fired a SAR 21 before, you'd know what a joke it is. The most reliable weapon that I have ever used is probably the M16, but it's not like it is not being phased out anytime soon. With guns that don't work perfectly, a system that is both slow and efficient, you really have to wonder what the whole point is in calling us back for a war that will never happen, when everything is all so messed up internally.

Perhaps that is because this is the only thing that they can do right, which is why they are constantly forcing us to go back and "get prepared". Our stores of faulty weapons and unmotivated personnel are never going to be able to battle a battalion of rabbits, I can guarantee you that. Like I said, we are better off fighting with pots and pans, because at least they give sure results of concussing the enemies. Just imagine yourself face to face with the enemy and experiencing one of the numerous bullet jamming incidents you'd get with a SAR 21. It is a toy gun from the muzzle to the butt, and the military pride themselves in that little piece of technology when, in truth, it is probably the dumbest weapon I have ever used personally. I am trying desperately at this point to think of a way that I will not miss two out of five weeks of class in this summer semester, and the only option left is to take this matter right up to the big boss on the first day of my training. I do hope sincerely that it will work out, and that I will not be forced to resign my modules at the end of all things. Yes, if this army thing is going to compromise my studies, I am going to resign this damn thing and have the military compensate for EVERYTHING. To quote from Naz's blog, "The Singaporean government has, for a long time, tried to promote a sense of patriotism and love for our country and all that our forefathers have fought and died for. I get that. But by fucking with a generation of pissed off youth, do you honestly think that anyone is going to bother giving a flying fuck about a country that has strived to hinder their own lives?" - fuck no.