In Continuum.

The Tipping Point

Seems like we all have our tipping points,that one thing someone can do to tip you off the scale.Like you being on a crowded MRT,and the train rushes down the track at rush hour.Already you are in discomfort,with the people around you closing in and sweating all over.Then there's this auntie behind you with an umbrella,unintentionally poking the side of your body as the train swayed from side to side.You know that she's not intentional,but there's always this one poke,one nudge that you trigger you off.We all have our tipping point,a scale inside our heads that should never be tempered with.

Mine seems to be tipped at a constant rate these couple of days.My aunt is still in town for her visit,and she'd be leaving first thing Monday morning.Despite the fact that i am glad for her to visit,i just hate the way she treats me as a kid.Still.I mean,yes.With your age divided by two i am not even close to it,but that doesnt mean i am in any way less matured than you.Experience is all the difference between me and yourself.

For some reason i started sneezing uncontrollably in my room only minutes earlier.As i was taking some pills by myself she came over and asked what was wrong and stuff.The way she talked to me made me feel as if she was treating me like that kid,that mucus eating kid when i was young.It was irritating,to hear her speak that way to me.Like i dont know anything,like im wrong and she is right.She doesnt try to convince,she doesnt try to preach,but the tone of her voice makes her seems like she's trying not to prove her right,but to prove you wrong.There is a difference,and it is irritating the hell out of me.

Also,the way she came into my room afterwards and placed her hands on my shoulder and gave me that little squeeze,like a massage of sorts.I was minding my own business,uploading photographs and listening to music,enjoying this private moment i am having with myself and she had to come in and show her tender loving care.I know,i know that she cares,but please give me some space.I am not that kid anymore,i really CAN take care of myself.Hell,i survived swamps and India.I dont need you to take care of me and place me in a cradle,seriously.

Like some of my friends these days,or rather just one.Her boyfriend kinda left her alone for awhile,because he supposedly needed his own space.The reason for him doing so was incredibly stupid,in my opinion.Basically he was pissed off over the most trivial thing,and that the anger was caused by his own imagination and hallucination.But however stupid the reason was,i guess in a way i understand why he needed his own space,this right to freedom we all possesses.

I think that's how a relationship should work,any relationship really.We should keep each other on leashes,but the leashes are two miles long,each.What im saying is that we got to be each others' lives simultaneously,with the leash being a reminder of the existence of one another.But we got to have our space,that two miles away from each other,that great length of faith and trust for each other that is of utmost importance.

We all get our scales tipped one point or another,but i guess i just need my leash to be a lot longer than usual.I need to know,that while i am our here i can always follow the leash back to where i came from,where i know it is safe.But never within the vicinity of the things i know,where the leash is merely 2 metres long.It suffocates me,really.

It tips me over,over my tipping point.