In Continuum.

Prunes

I vaguely remember this teacher back in my JC days,who used to give public announcements during the morning assemblies.She was sort of like the teacher in charged of this kinda stuff,and being the four class from the front of the stage we usually get a rather good view of her.

I cant remember her name,but i sure remember the name Samantha gave her one day that got us grabbing our sides,laughing like crazy.I think she called her a "Prune",because she was so wrinkled and thin,like dried fruit left out in the sun for too long.That term was again used on the phone coversation with Corinna on the plane just before she took off for New York.The lady beside her was apparently making a big Hoo-Hah out of the fact that she was speaking on the phone,and she was having a splitting headache.The latest use of that word came from Jonathan,as we recieved the most preposterous and ridiculous news about NS just yesterday afternoon.

NS stands for "National Service",or "National Slavery" depends how you look at it.Now,a comment perception of NS is that the bunch of male population would gather on some island and walk through jungles,mud,rain,and do some really physical activities to defend our country from potential enemies.Sure,that is true but i bet nobody ever expected that NS also encompasses charity work.Yes ladies and gentlemen,you saw that just right.We NS-Men has got to do charity work as well,can you believe it.

Now,i wont go into detail as to what we are supposed to do exactly,but let's just say i'd be more willing to carry boxes of groceries at NTUC or sweep the entire Orchard Road with a broken broom up and down three times over.Seriously,the job description was just utter bullshit,and it is as if the ABTF standby,the 4NTM standby and the usual guard duties are not enough,some motherfucker had to add this little charity work shit into our schedule.It's easy to come up with the idea that you want to put a good image to the general public that the military is more than just protectors of the country's security,but also cares for their citizens in different ways.It is easy to come up with such plans,but the execution of such plans take a toll on all the men under you.Yeah,ranks.You speak of ranks,but you havent the consideration for us poor men with lower brain and apparently,higher IQ level.

I shall give you guys a brief outlook on the charity work though.It involves us getting out of camp,making our way to some bloody old folks' home and taking old people to swimming pools and swim with them.I'm not sure about the swimming part,but i am sure as hell i am never going to get into the water with those old prunes.I dont have a thing for old people,but when they are involved in the charity work that i supposedly 'volunteered' to do they get on my nerves.Really,i have half the mind to pay the old lady twenty dollars and ask them to spend the next half a day by herself,do whatever she wants and buy whatever she likes.I'd be here by the pool on the bench enjoying a little sun tan and my time out of camp.If you happen to feel dizzy,and you feel like you are drowning please shout loud enough so you can wake me up,or else dont shout at all and just succumb to your own pathetic fate.I am not a charity sort of person,and i never will just because you have a misery family story.

Perhaps they should have a record of my History of Charity.I have perhaps the worst charity history anybody can think of.Most of my donations were made because i was forced to do it.Remember those irritating NKF donation cards?I used to stuff money down the pocket at the back cover of the cards because i was too lazy to go around my neighbourhood asking for donations.The most tedious charity work i ever done was also forced as well,which involved collecting old newspapers from an estate in Ang Mo Kio,and the brief encounters with other freakish prunes in Singapore was enough to being the living daylight out of my very soul.Or they can make a call to NFK and ask what i did to that Indian lady who gave a call to my handphone asking if i would like to have another one of those NKF donation cards sent to me while i was walking down Orchard.I told her no,but she persisted stubbornly.I simply hung up on her afterwards,and rejected all her calls.

I mustve sounded like Vlad or Stalin,this cold-hearted asshole not giving a shit about the poorer population out there.Guess i should clear something up here.I hate charity,the sort of charity that FORCES you to donate,or make any sort of effort.That's the charity culture in Singapore,the way they forces the donation can on you,or the way they give you cold stares when you dont donate enough.

A year ago after the Tsunami incident,i remember the sergeants asking for kind donations from the platoon guys.They had a nominal roll,and i looked through the list looking at the donations made by the platoon mates.They were pathetic,with the maximum of five dollars donated from somebody i cannot remember.So i tossed out fifty dollars from my wallet and gave it to the sergeant.I remember him telling me that he hadnt got change for my cash,but i told him that that was my donation and i wasnt asking for change.

Another incident to prove that i am not a cold-hearted bastard is the time back in India when we were about to leave the country.As we were about to leave the camp our PS asked if anybody wanted to donate to the local orphanage of some kind,and any amount would be fine since he couldnt care less about those children.I tossed out another fifty bucks (Singapore Dollar)and gave it to him then,the highest donor on the list.

So you see,i have no issues with prunes.I have no issues with donations.I just hate the way they force it on you like some irritating salesman at your door selling ridiculous smelling shaving cream.Really,have you ever thought about the toll it takes on us,the fact that perhaps we DONT WANT to do these charities?Bloody hell,fuck you NS.Fuck you.