Emily Part II: Loathe Her, Loathe Love
Friday, July 28, 2006
Emily Part II: Loathe Her, Loathe Love
The party already started.There were about ten people inside the dimly-lid room,with most of them already naked.The heater in the corner of the room quietly whirled,and compared to the rest of the house the room was like a flaming inferno,with bodies of passionate young couples wriggling around the bed and floor like snakes in a den.Smokes swirled in the air,clouding around the yellow ceiling light,creating an artificial sunset.A slow jazz music was playing in the background,a sudden change in the mood between this floor and the one below.It was as if Emily entered another world,one without any faults and full of redemptions.Already she was comfortable in her coat,but the object felt cold,as she felt it for the hundredth time today.
She recognised Tracy at the other end of her room,with a blonde haired girl's face between her legs.She was groaning softly at first,then her body stirred and wriggled,like that of a worm in the claws of a bird.Tracy had her fingers through those dirty blonde hair,so careless of the world and in absolute esctasy.She didnt notice Emily at first,but as she stepped through the door Tracy pushed the blonde hair girl away and embraced Emily,totally naked and her hair in disarray.She smiled,and Emily returned the friendly greeting.She took her hand out of her purse finally,and laid them on Tracy's bare butt.It was warm,and Tracy let out a soft yelp under the cold touch.She led Emily through the maze of naked bodies on the floor,and to the bed where she was.The blonde girl's name was Rachael,and the guy under Rachael was called Travis.Both of them were naked as well,and already there were condoms strewned around.
Emily whispered into Tracy's ears,and asked if they could go to somewhere more private than the room.It wasnt the smoke,the stench,or the people inside with their hands all over each other.She felt a certain guilt all of a sudden,pricking her skin like a dozen needles.The smoke surrounded her now,threatening to dye her skin black and poisoning her mind.It was an orgy,said Tracy.It's supposed to be like this.Emily smiled bashfully,and confessed it was her first time,and would like to start out slow.She lied,and deep down inside she knew.But Tracy and her friends chuckled softly under their already losing breaths,and agreed to let Emily go this time round,but only until midnight.
So the both of them,with Emily still fully clothed and Tracy naked,they walked hand in hand down the hallway and into her parents room,where they locked the door and Emily got undressed.The purse thrown to the other end of the room,and Emily worried if she's able to reach the object later on,but was distracted by Tracy as she stuck her tongue into Emily's mouth.A sudden electricity went through Emily's lips,the sensation so familiar yet distant that very moment on that very night.She trembled just a little,but ran her own fingers through Tracy's hair.She returned the favour,and the both of them blended into each other like snowmen in the summer sun,so passionate for each other and almost deadly,as they were slowly disintegrated by lust into the night.
The room was a little warmer than the hallways.The last hint of the afternoon sun sliced through the plain white curtains,now pulled over the glass windows.Next to the windows was the bed where Sarah was.Sarah's father was holding her left hand,where a tube entered her arm,and looked lifeless and dead all of a sudden.Emily walked up slowly to the bed,and before her was the ever beautiful Sarah.Her brunette her was then neatly tied up behind her head,and the ponytail laid carefully by her right shoulder.She was asleep then,and her face was whiter than white.If not for the constant beeping in the LCD she wouldve thought that Sarah already passed hours ago.
Yet despite the pale skin and frail face,the way the cheeks sank into her cheekbones and the purple veins under her shallow skin,she recognised Sarah,her Sarah.It was then,when she opened up her eyes and smiled.Those eys,still spelling a whole universe of beauty and beyond.But was somehow polluted by something,an emotions she couldnt put her finger on.Sadness,perhaps.Or regret.However weak it was,however tiring it seemed,Sarah's smile still brightened up the dark corners of Emily's heart like it always did.Her right arm reached out for Emily,and she took it in her palms.Her hand was cold,and Emily's heart frozen.It was heartbreaking,to see Sarah the way she was,lying on her bed on the verge of death.Hell,she smelt death the moment the tip of her fingers touched the handle to the room.The sight of Sarah only confirmed her own slow suicide,the dying of her heart deep down inside.
They asked to be alone,and her parents agreed.They left,and just as the door closed quietly behind them,the girls embraced like they never did,and never will again.She was physically thinner than before already,Emily thought.She felt her ribs at the sides,her back with her spine jutting out like little metal balls.Why,was the only question in Emily's head then.It didnt occur to her that Sarah,the strong Sarah,the courageous Sarah,the cheerful Sarah,would do such a thing to herself over another girl,over the bitch,that whore,that fucking Tracy,she thought.
"You are here..." whisphered Sarah into her ears. "I'm so glad..."
Emily smiled,but uttered nothing.She didnt know what to say then,perhaps still in shock over the person before her.The person whom she fell so deeply in love with and yet,went away with some other girl because Emily herself hadnt the guts to confess her affections.She figured that,like a caged bird,the only way to love the bird was to let her go,to set her free.But little did she know,that this bird fell into the arms of Tracy Maguire,the person who single handedly destroyed Sarah.Who indirectly fed her those pills that fateful night,who wrote her own name with Sarah's bloody finger on the letter,who dumped Sarah for a from the soccer team because she was tired of loving somebody of the same sex,tired of love,and tired of Sarah,who made her indifferent,an outcaste,a lesbian.She hated herself with Sarah,and most of all she hated Sarah,the strength in her,and the weaknesses it reflects in herself.
Tracy loathed love,and most of all loved Sarah as much as she loathed her...
To be continued...
The party already started.There were about ten people inside the dimly-lid room,with most of them already naked.The heater in the corner of the room quietly whirled,and compared to the rest of the house the room was like a flaming inferno,with bodies of passionate young couples wriggling around the bed and floor like snakes in a den.Smokes swirled in the air,clouding around the yellow ceiling light,creating an artificial sunset.A slow jazz music was playing in the background,a sudden change in the mood between this floor and the one below.It was as if Emily entered another world,one without any faults and full of redemptions.Already she was comfortable in her coat,but the object felt cold,as she felt it for the hundredth time today.
She recognised Tracy at the other end of her room,with a blonde haired girl's face between her legs.She was groaning softly at first,then her body stirred and wriggled,like that of a worm in the claws of a bird.Tracy had her fingers through those dirty blonde hair,so careless of the world and in absolute esctasy.She didnt notice Emily at first,but as she stepped through the door Tracy pushed the blonde hair girl away and embraced Emily,totally naked and her hair in disarray.She smiled,and Emily returned the friendly greeting.She took her hand out of her purse finally,and laid them on Tracy's bare butt.It was warm,and Tracy let out a soft yelp under the cold touch.She led Emily through the maze of naked bodies on the floor,and to the bed where she was.The blonde girl's name was Rachael,and the guy under Rachael was called Travis.Both of them were naked as well,and already there were condoms strewned around.
Emily whispered into Tracy's ears,and asked if they could go to somewhere more private than the room.It wasnt the smoke,the stench,or the people inside with their hands all over each other.She felt a certain guilt all of a sudden,pricking her skin like a dozen needles.The smoke surrounded her now,threatening to dye her skin black and poisoning her mind.It was an orgy,said Tracy.It's supposed to be like this.Emily smiled bashfully,and confessed it was her first time,and would like to start out slow.She lied,and deep down inside she knew.But Tracy and her friends chuckled softly under their already losing breaths,and agreed to let Emily go this time round,but only until midnight.
So the both of them,with Emily still fully clothed and Tracy naked,they walked hand in hand down the hallway and into her parents room,where they locked the door and Emily got undressed.The purse thrown to the other end of the room,and Emily worried if she's able to reach the object later on,but was distracted by Tracy as she stuck her tongue into Emily's mouth.A sudden electricity went through Emily's lips,the sensation so familiar yet distant that very moment on that very night.She trembled just a little,but ran her own fingers through Tracy's hair.She returned the favour,and the both of them blended into each other like snowmen in the summer sun,so passionate for each other and almost deadly,as they were slowly disintegrated by lust into the night.
The room was a little warmer than the hallways.The last hint of the afternoon sun sliced through the plain white curtains,now pulled over the glass windows.Next to the windows was the bed where Sarah was.Sarah's father was holding her left hand,where a tube entered her arm,and looked lifeless and dead all of a sudden.Emily walked up slowly to the bed,and before her was the ever beautiful Sarah.Her brunette her was then neatly tied up behind her head,and the ponytail laid carefully by her right shoulder.She was asleep then,and her face was whiter than white.If not for the constant beeping in the LCD she wouldve thought that Sarah already passed hours ago.
Yet despite the pale skin and frail face,the way the cheeks sank into her cheekbones and the purple veins under her shallow skin,she recognised Sarah,her Sarah.It was then,when she opened up her eyes and smiled.Those eys,still spelling a whole universe of beauty and beyond.But was somehow polluted by something,an emotions she couldnt put her finger on.Sadness,perhaps.Or regret.However weak it was,however tiring it seemed,Sarah's smile still brightened up the dark corners of Emily's heart like it always did.Her right arm reached out for Emily,and she took it in her palms.Her hand was cold,and Emily's heart frozen.It was heartbreaking,to see Sarah the way she was,lying on her bed on the verge of death.Hell,she smelt death the moment the tip of her fingers touched the handle to the room.The sight of Sarah only confirmed her own slow suicide,the dying of her heart deep down inside.
They asked to be alone,and her parents agreed.They left,and just as the door closed quietly behind them,the girls embraced like they never did,and never will again.She was physically thinner than before already,Emily thought.She felt her ribs at the sides,her back with her spine jutting out like little metal balls.Why,was the only question in Emily's head then.It didnt occur to her that Sarah,the strong Sarah,the courageous Sarah,the cheerful Sarah,would do such a thing to herself over another girl,over the bitch,that whore,that fucking Tracy,she thought.
"You are here..." whisphered Sarah into her ears. "I'm so glad..."
Emily smiled,but uttered nothing.She didnt know what to say then,perhaps still in shock over the person before her.The person whom she fell so deeply in love with and yet,went away with some other girl because Emily herself hadnt the guts to confess her affections.She figured that,like a caged bird,the only way to love the bird was to let her go,to set her free.But little did she know,that this bird fell into the arms of Tracy Maguire,the person who single handedly destroyed Sarah.Who indirectly fed her those pills that fateful night,who wrote her own name with Sarah's bloody finger on the letter,who dumped Sarah for a from the soccer team because she was tired of loving somebody of the same sex,tired of love,and tired of Sarah,who made her indifferent,an outcaste,a lesbian.She hated herself with Sarah,and most of all she hated Sarah,the strength in her,and the weaknesses it reflects in herself.
Tracy loathed love,and most of all loved Sarah as much as she loathed her...
To be continued...
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on Friday, July 28, 2006 at 9:18 PM.
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