In Continuum.

The Five Senses of Freedom

It's that part of the army life again.Yes,ladies and gentlemen,we have now come to that part,when outfields come non-stop with no time left in between for breath now.Two back to back outfields this week and the next under the painful(Yes,i am using the word "Painful")sun,i doubted my own ability to hold on.Seriously,even the strongest tree wither under the hottest sun.Like Chris Martin said when he first had a tour with Travis in Singapore a couple of years ago,it IS bloody hot here.Somebody should build some giant rockets at East Coast and blast our way towards the North Pole.It'd probably be a failing effort,but at least it was a try to make the weather less fucked up.

Anyway,so in an attempt to comfort the men about the outfields,OC described the length of the two years in the army as a sort of run.Take the 2.4km run in IPPTs as an analogy,and the starting line is when you are in BMT.Slowly you go round and round around the tracks and soon enough,you are where you are now.I am where i am now.One year and seven months i have survived something,which i was so sure im gonna die from before i got in here.In a way,i guess you can say that i am proud to have finished whatever that i have finished,accomplished whatever i have accomplished.Five rounds down and perhaps a round to go,and now is crunch time.Now is the time,according to OC,to really put in more effort,to push that extra mile and use that last strength and breath to complete the whole run within time,because by the end of this run when you cross the finish line,with the timer yelling "Up" at the sideline,you are going to be a whole new person entire.

Of course,that paragraph above was not quoted.It was what he MEANT,but not necessarily what he actually said.It was of course,simplified and less lyrical,but i guess i prefered to spice things up,and at the same time make him sound ten times more intellectual(Haha).He's a nice guy,really.But just not in the conventional sort of way,i guess.

Anyway,speaking of putting running the 2.4 as an analogy to the NS life,i thought of the sense of freedom.It is a little less than five months away now,and i am starting to think about all the things i can potentially do with myself and my life afterwards.There's the driving license that i might try my hands on,the school that i might try to enter,the round-Europe trip that i am definitely going to embark on(Passengers,anyone?),and of course the endless books that i am going to plough my way through.So many things,just waiting for this chapter to end and the other to begin.It's like the climax of a book,just waiting for the boring introduction to end,so that it can begin proper.I figured that if we are going to reach the finish line soon enough,i broke down the part of our sense that is going to sense it first.

First of course comes,sight.Imagine yourself running your guts out on the track under blazing hot sun(It sucks to have the sun always blazing,when typing a blog entry in Singapore).Now,you are dashing for the finish line,just past the fifth round and starting on the last.You are within timing,great pacing,and as your pacer yelled your timing you looked across the field at the eventual finish line.Already in sight,you thought.Already in sight.

Then comes hearing.You hear your sergeants at the finish line cheering,and your platoon mates probably yelling out your timing,asking you to broaden your steps because you are just going to make it but not quite.You opened up your steps,and the cheerings are getting louder and louder.The end is coming,and you can hear it as the grand stand comes closer.It's close now,you thought.It's close.

The next is the sense of smell probably.Imagine you are like the WORST runner in the platoon when you first entered army.With everybody else getting Gold and Silver,a weakling like yourself probably never thought of making it past the third round alive.But right now,you are on your fifth and making great time,and to celebrate your possible victory over yourself,everybody bought you this delicious cake,now placed on the table at the end of the finish line,with candles already lighted,awaiting your arrival.You are now at the last stretch,with 100m left to go.The smell of the cake is just there,floating down the tracks and tempting your nostrils.Your pace quickened,and everybody went wild.

You crossed the finish line,the timer yelled out your time.You passed!And everybody rushed down the stairs to celebrate.You were thrown into the air,with everybody below you like springs under the mattress.You didnt mind being tossed around,nor did you mind the cake thrown in your face later on.Because the cake was sweet,and the finishing line under your feet.You completed the initially unthinkable.You conquer,yourself.Freedom tastes so beautifully sweet.

Now at the end of the journey,you last sense kicks in.To feel freedom in its entirety.To truly understand the beauty of freedom,you kissed the tracks.And as the hot ground made contact with your dry lips,the heat surged through your body like an adrenaline rush and up through your whole body like a cool breeze in a hot day,or a realization that you already accomplished something.This something,is freedom.You are submerged in freedom now,and right then in that moment,you are free.

I guess right now i am probably smelling the cake,just 100ms down the track,and so near to the finish line.I am THAT close,but the fucked up part is that i have so many things in between to finish off.I know that i am probably going to reach the destination without me actually doing anything,but i guess i want myself to know,that by the end of this race with myself i am going to be somebody totally different from where i started.Like so many people that helped to shape and changed my life,the person i am today,i guess NS has its own magical(Though mundane)way of changing me,and i am and probably will be,glad that it did whatever i did.

A couple of more outfields,and few more months,and i will be tasting and feeling freedom.The circle shall be complete,and a whole new cycle of senses shall behold me,when i embark on the next phase of my life.But this time i wont be sweating my heart out and jogging on the verge of death,but rather with a grin on my face and the confidence the world has never witnessed.