In Continuum.

First Words

I know i have been blogging a little excessively,especially this weekend.But i figured if this is my only refuge in this whole world,where nobody is going to judge what i say,then so be it if i have tonnes of things to talk about.I used to think that it's rather strange,almost perverse,to start your diary or blog entries with "Dear Diary",or "Dear Blog".But now that i think about it,although im not going to start that practise anytime soon,i kinda understand the affection shown towards this silent medium where we spill our thoughts.You know,how silence is the best cure in sorrows?Yeah,that's it.

It's been a week or two since i have been debating with myself if i should message her again.Of course,the idea still remains rather ridiculous but...liking her in the first place is rather ridiculous in the very first place.I questioned myself what i am expecting from her,say we start talking about.Do i continue at where i left her,like her all over again?Or do i stay put,tune down a little bit,let nature take it's course and accept that this is as good as it gets,dont spoil it once again.Dumbass.

I think what i am,or should be expecting is the latter of the two questions.I think at this point i am not having anymore expectations whatsoever when it concerns her,anymore.Every thought conjured is a thought dismissed.Like,i'd go "Let's do this" and then later im probably going to sucessfully convince myself "But what the hell for?" In a way i am glad that i have this part of me pulling me back,always reminding me that i have this stupidity deep inside,that should be avoided at all costs.

Another major hold back for me really is what i am supposed to SAY to her as the first words,after so long without contact.I mean come on,the one after the Coldplay concert doesnt count as a conversation.It was more like "Oh,excuse me..." when you bump into a strange on the road.There's more passion involved in that,actually.

Speaking of first words,i related that to the numerous "Pick-up" lines ive heard of,or read of over the years.There are a couple of interesting ones i'd like to share.Before i continue with the lines i'd like to advice the male readers out there NOT to use these lines.You'd probably end up being the gag of the night,and possibly the girl's lifetime.

1)The Five Fingers Trick
Sit at a bar table and act all casual and cool.You see a girl walking in your direction and you find her absolutely astounding.You decide to make your move,and as you catch her attention you point at her with your index finger,then curl it inwards as if to lure her in.

As she approaches,you say,"Hey,i got you to come with one finger.Imagine what i can do with five!"

2)The Sparkle
I heard this from a retarded friend in JC,actually.He actually was stupid enough to try this trick.But the funny part really isnt the fact that he attempted the impossible,but rather the girl's reaction to it afterwards.

Look deeply into the girl's eyes,and whisper in her ears,"There's something in your eyes,i think it is a sparkle."

To that,the girl's reply to my friend was(Really!),"Huh?Really ah,where?"

3)The Polar Bear Trick
Go up to a girl and ask her if it is okay for you to ask her a question.If she agrees,proceed with the below questionaire.

"Okay,do you happen to know how much a polar bear weighs?"

Obviously,she's not going to know the answer.The only weight she knows is probably her own.So when she says,"No",reply:

"Oh,enough to break the ice.Hi!"

Those were some of the worst pick-up lines in the history of pick-up lines.Im sure there are better ones,or the really good ones.But as a person who never believed in pick-up lines,ive only heard the absolute worst.So forgive me,gentlemen,if you guys didnt get anything out of reading the above suggestions.

Anyway,back to my point.So what am i supposed to say to her as my first words?Of course,i am certainly not going to attempt those pick-up lines mentioned.That's suicidal.Perhaps when i am dead drunk and a ass full of debts.Before then,no thanks.

Perhaps a straightforward,"Hi,it's been awhile..." .But that's a little simple,isnt it?Im not sure,it doesnt sound right.It sounds to wistful,perhaps.Like telling her,"Hey,I'm real bored now.Entertain me!" kinda thing.It doesnt give her a good impression of you,though perhaps she already has one.

So this crazy idea came to me while it rained this afternoon.I rolled over to the window to get this magazine from the shelves beside the window when i looked out,and thought of my first words.It's probably not going to work,though.But it is my best shot at things.Hell,im probably never going to use THIS line,it sounds absolutely cheesy.Perhaps just something im going to dream about saying,the dream whereby i actually have the guts and balls to say such a thing.So here we go,in the middle of a sunny Sunday afternoon her phone vibrates.A tone goes off,and haflway through a sketch she's been doing she opens up a message in her handphone and reads:

"Hey,it's raining..."

Everybody says,"Cheese!"