Page Divers
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Page Divers
By "Page Diver" i am refering to "Bookies",or rather "Avid fan of Books".I am glad to have so many of such "Page Divers" in my life right now.I mean,it's always nice to have a nice chat over the books you just read,heard about,or simply the books that sucked.It
s a different feeling from discussions about movies and music,because it opens up a whole new horizon of discussion topics,and the feeling of diving into the world of literature is rather intriguing.
Speaking of the term "Bookie",i guess i should apologise to RuiYi(Or,Ree Yi)for calling her "Not-the-Bookie-type".You must forgive me,because i havent seen you(Technically speaking)for so many donkey years,and my knowledge of you is still stuck in the "Aquarium",in your cute polkadot skirt and white uniform,laughing at the stupidity of me back then,how i never heard of St. Hilda's.And of course your recent stalker identity clearly proved that you are REALLY not the Bookie type.But then again,i might be wrong,right?
Anyway,i went on my solo-shopping spree today again.I had the intentions of buying four books,but ended up buying only two.Mardy Grothe's Don't Let a Fool Kiss You or Let a Kiss Fool You was not avaliable,and i wasnt sure about Christopher Buckley's Thank You for Smoking.The latter has a five star rating on Amazon.com,but for some reason the ratings provided below were lukewarm.Anyway,i got my hands on The Complete Stories of Truman Capote by Truman Capote,as well as Suite Francaise by Irene Nemirovsky,which i am so eager to start reading.With Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides in my sling bag i headed down to the Beans outside Wheelocks and had a sip of coffee,with the rest of the town population busying themselves around me under the scorching hot sun,sweating their lives away slowly with each passing step.
This entry is not essentially going to be another book review,but rather some observations that i have made on the fellow Page Divers that i met today,as well as the past Page Divers ive encountered in my life.Some interesting observations i must say,that i'd like to share with all readers.
1)The Sofa Hog
You know how at Borders they have these benches and sofas for book shoppers to take a break from the book surfing,and just sit down and have a good read?Well,there are people out there who hog sofas and benches just so that they can spend the rest of the day in the comfort of those chairs.This is the usual strategy they use: First they will head down to Borders right before they open,with a checklist of books in their hands.Borders opens,and they dash in to grab the books on the list.After doing so,they will find the nearest empty sofa and stay there forever.If they ever need more books or head to the bathroom,they will put a bag or whatever there,just so that other shoppers would know that that seat is taken by somebody.
2)The Caffeine Addicts
I guess i am guilty of being such a page diver.I mean,this is the kind of book reader you'd expect to find in any cafe,right?With a napkin,a cup of coffee and a spoon you would expect this person to be fully equiped with all the necessary items to last through the sunny afternoon in the cafe.Not only are these people book addicts,they are usually addicted to coffee as well.It doesnt matter how many cups of coffee they take,just as long as they last them through the pages of the book or else they are never going to be enough.
3)The Mumbler
This is the second most irritating sort of Page Diver.Have you seen those old men at bookstores,with glasses on the verge of sliding off the tips of their noses,staring down at the back of the book in their hands,as if the book owes him something.Well,these are not the targeted readers really,but rather they are usually the ones who mumble whatever they read.They are,to me,known as the "Mumblers".I saw a guy on the bus today,though he wasnt an old man with glasses sliding off the tip of his nose or whatever,he was a man of perhaps a hundred kilograms.His belly was bulging out of his polo-shirt,with the buckle of his white shorts hidden under it.He had a pair of unmatching leather shoes on,with the left shoe poorly crushed under his feet,as he wore it rather improperly with his heel stepping on the back of it.I almost wanted to save the shoe right there,but thought better of interrupting the Mumbler.
He was reading some self-help book,or so it looked like,and he was mumbling every single word to himself throughout the bus journey.I had my iPod on,with Clarity by John Mayer playing out at 80% of full volume,and Middlesex in my hands as i took the bus home from town.The girls next to me were chattering at the top of their voices,giggling hysterically at something i couldnt care less about,and despite all those i was distracted by the movement of his lips to the words he was reading.I guess i must be the only page diver out there easily irritated by such readers.
4)The Breather
Not so much of a avid fan of books,or a personal experience,but rather from an article from the back of an issue of FHM i read once that made me laugh out loud.It mentioned the top ten most irritating thing a person can do to another,and one of them was "The Breather".They are the kind of readers who look over others' shoulders to read their newspaper,magazine,or whatever reading material they had in hand.They probably were too poor,too lazy,or too cheap to buy a copy themselves,and thought by breathing into the shoulder of somebody else,it was enough for he or her to gain the necessary daily food-for-thought.
5)The Anti-Christ
The summation of #3 and #4.
6)The Itchy-Handed Reader
I am part of this category at times,with my finger constantly fidgeting with some close at hand.It's usually the top corners of the page i am reading,or my handphone as i spin it between my thumb and index.There are the ones who twist their hair around their finger if it's long enough in the first place,while others prefer the feeling of a cigarette between their fingers.The most unusual,or rather disturbing Itchy-Handed reader i have seen was probably the time when i saw a woman reading a thriller,and i guess the plot was too involving,she was on the verge of chewing her finger off.Really,she was that involved.
7)The Poser
I'm not sure where some of these people got this idea from,but there are people out there who thinks that sitting at the cafe,drinking coffee and reading a really thick book make them look irresistably attractive.The truth is,diver or not,people are probably not going to deem you as an intellect more than the uncle at the ice-cream cart selling ice-cream.It is the content of the book you read,what you absorb,and what comes out from your mouth afterwards that matters,not the poise you keep while reading the damn book,or the illusion that by quoting a line or two from Shakespear you are drop-dead sexy.I havent personally met this kind of reader before(Thank God),but im sure there are these people out there,just making themselves at home at the nearest cafe,reading the same page for over an hour just because they think that others are looking at them with fascinated eyes.But really,those stares that are directed at you are nowhere near fascination,but rather shame and pity.But mostly just stupidity.
By "Page Diver" i am refering to "Bookies",or rather "Avid fan of Books".I am glad to have so many of such "Page Divers" in my life right now.I mean,it's always nice to have a nice chat over the books you just read,heard about,or simply the books that sucked.It
s a different feeling from discussions about movies and music,because it opens up a whole new horizon of discussion topics,and the feeling of diving into the world of literature is rather intriguing.
Speaking of the term "Bookie",i guess i should apologise to RuiYi(Or,Ree Yi)for calling her "Not-the-Bookie-type".You must forgive me,because i havent seen you(Technically speaking)for so many donkey years,and my knowledge of you is still stuck in the "Aquarium",in your cute polkadot skirt and white uniform,laughing at the stupidity of me back then,how i never heard of St. Hilda's.And of course your recent stalker identity clearly proved that you are REALLY not the Bookie type.But then again,i might be wrong,right?
Anyway,i went on my solo-shopping spree today again.I had the intentions of buying four books,but ended up buying only two.Mardy Grothe's Don't Let a Fool Kiss You or Let a Kiss Fool You was not avaliable,and i wasnt sure about Christopher Buckley's Thank You for Smoking.The latter has a five star rating on Amazon.com,but for some reason the ratings provided below were lukewarm.Anyway,i got my hands on The Complete Stories of Truman Capote by Truman Capote,as well as Suite Francaise by Irene Nemirovsky,which i am so eager to start reading.With Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides in my sling bag i headed down to the Beans outside Wheelocks and had a sip of coffee,with the rest of the town population busying themselves around me under the scorching hot sun,sweating their lives away slowly with each passing step.
This entry is not essentially going to be another book review,but rather some observations that i have made on the fellow Page Divers that i met today,as well as the past Page Divers ive encountered in my life.Some interesting observations i must say,that i'd like to share with all readers.
1)The Sofa Hog
You know how at Borders they have these benches and sofas for book shoppers to take a break from the book surfing,and just sit down and have a good read?Well,there are people out there who hog sofas and benches just so that they can spend the rest of the day in the comfort of those chairs.This is the usual strategy they use: First they will head down to Borders right before they open,with a checklist of books in their hands.Borders opens,and they dash in to grab the books on the list.After doing so,they will find the nearest empty sofa and stay there forever.If they ever need more books or head to the bathroom,they will put a bag or whatever there,just so that other shoppers would know that that seat is taken by somebody.
2)The Caffeine Addicts
I guess i am guilty of being such a page diver.I mean,this is the kind of book reader you'd expect to find in any cafe,right?With a napkin,a cup of coffee and a spoon you would expect this person to be fully equiped with all the necessary items to last through the sunny afternoon in the cafe.Not only are these people book addicts,they are usually addicted to coffee as well.It doesnt matter how many cups of coffee they take,just as long as they last them through the pages of the book or else they are never going to be enough.
3)The Mumbler
This is the second most irritating sort of Page Diver.Have you seen those old men at bookstores,with glasses on the verge of sliding off the tips of their noses,staring down at the back of the book in their hands,as if the book owes him something.Well,these are not the targeted readers really,but rather they are usually the ones who mumble whatever they read.They are,to me,known as the "Mumblers".I saw a guy on the bus today,though he wasnt an old man with glasses sliding off the tip of his nose or whatever,he was a man of perhaps a hundred kilograms.His belly was bulging out of his polo-shirt,with the buckle of his white shorts hidden under it.He had a pair of unmatching leather shoes on,with the left shoe poorly crushed under his feet,as he wore it rather improperly with his heel stepping on the back of it.I almost wanted to save the shoe right there,but thought better of interrupting the Mumbler.
He was reading some self-help book,or so it looked like,and he was mumbling every single word to himself throughout the bus journey.I had my iPod on,with Clarity by John Mayer playing out at 80% of full volume,and Middlesex in my hands as i took the bus home from town.The girls next to me were chattering at the top of their voices,giggling hysterically at something i couldnt care less about,and despite all those i was distracted by the movement of his lips to the words he was reading.I guess i must be the only page diver out there easily irritated by such readers.
4)The Breather
Not so much of a avid fan of books,or a personal experience,but rather from an article from the back of an issue of FHM i read once that made me laugh out loud.It mentioned the top ten most irritating thing a person can do to another,and one of them was "The Breather".They are the kind of readers who look over others' shoulders to read their newspaper,magazine,or whatever reading material they had in hand.They probably were too poor,too lazy,or too cheap to buy a copy themselves,and thought by breathing into the shoulder of somebody else,it was enough for he or her to gain the necessary daily food-for-thought.
5)The Anti-Christ
The summation of #3 and #4.
6)The Itchy-Handed Reader
I am part of this category at times,with my finger constantly fidgeting with some close at hand.It's usually the top corners of the page i am reading,or my handphone as i spin it between my thumb and index.There are the ones who twist their hair around their finger if it's long enough in the first place,while others prefer the feeling of a cigarette between their fingers.The most unusual,or rather disturbing Itchy-Handed reader i have seen was probably the time when i saw a woman reading a thriller,and i guess the plot was too involving,she was on the verge of chewing her finger off.Really,she was that involved.
7)The Poser
I'm not sure where some of these people got this idea from,but there are people out there who thinks that sitting at the cafe,drinking coffee and reading a really thick book make them look irresistably attractive.The truth is,diver or not,people are probably not going to deem you as an intellect more than the uncle at the ice-cream cart selling ice-cream.It is the content of the book you read,what you absorb,and what comes out from your mouth afterwards that matters,not the poise you keep while reading the damn book,or the illusion that by quoting a line or two from Shakespear you are drop-dead sexy.I havent personally met this kind of reader before(Thank God),but im sure there are these people out there,just making themselves at home at the nearest cafe,reading the same page for over an hour just because they think that others are looking at them with fascinated eyes.But really,those stares that are directed at you are nowhere near fascination,but rather shame and pity.But mostly just stupidity.
This entry was posted
on Saturday, July 08, 2006 at 5:04 PM.
You can skip to the end and leave a response.
