Dictated Citizens
Monday, October 30, 2006
Dictated Citizens
I was just thinking,at 430am this morning,how we humans are always evolving in terms of emotions.But unlike monkeys or Chimpanzees,though we all evolved from one species to another,emotions do not remain in one state for very long.Or rather,they do not stay that way forever,waiting to evolve into another form of emotion.But in truth,the evolution process of our emotions is easily wavered,and that it recesses backwards when blinded by the influence of your mind.
Yeah,it is quite a thought at 430am i must admit,but you must understand that half of the contents on this blog derived from the thoughts that bounces around my head right before i fall asleep,so forgive me for sounding a little irrational at times.
The truth is,that i think under circumstances,different situations,our minds react differently in terms of emotions.We make decisions that we wouldnt normally make,decisions deemed to be stupid and in some ways,outrageous.Here's the reason why i thought this way yesterday night.
In J1,back when i was in J1,i was head over heels for a girl in school.From my pespective right now,i have no idea why i was attracted to her.I mean,sure she is disgustingly cute,and possibly one of the nicest person i have ever met.But in terms of interests,likes and dislikes,we are poles apart.There wouldnt have been a difference between putting us in the same room,and putting us one on each side of the planet.Because really,we were radically different(She likes chinese music,for starters).
You see,but i liked her for reasons that i wasnt very sure of.And to justify that,i came up with reasons myself.I remember leaving a testimonial on Friendster so long ago,and she telling me that she doesnt see all the personality traits in herself.I thought she was just trying to be modest about it.But then,perhaps it was ME,making up reasons to like her,to make my stupidity justified.It was all make believe,my efforts to conjure up reasons to make myself less dumb,more rational,and have a reason to fall head over heels and still smile with a bleeding nose.
Coming back to the present,i was just wondering how our opinions on something can radically change,once you are out of the whirlpool of emotions and staring at the disaster from a safe distance,comfortably on a beach and drinking a cup of ice lemon tea.Your opinions can be drastically different,and that is how i felt yesterday night.
Whatever that i am feeling now might be right,might be in every single way,real.But isnt it possible that it is merely because of the situation,the circumstance that i am in right now,that is dictating my feelings?It is hard to tell,when you are under the influence of these emotional drugs,and you cannot think straight.I cannot tell you if a couple of months down the line i am going to wake up and be objective about everything.Because i can't,and i just have to believe that this is as good as it gets at times.I know,that it sucks to know that there is nothing more than this,but i guess to prevent myself from self-depreciating thoughts,to protect myself from being a victim of myself,i have to take such actions.
It is strange,how some,or all of our emotions could be merely make believes.That everything is merely a result of whatever that is happening around you.I ran through the rain more than three years ago,something deemed as dumb,in today's standards.My standards.But back then it felt so right,because for some unknown reason,all i wanted to do was to have the rain wash away my stupidity,my shame in a way.So all i am saying is,that perhaps we are all justifying our actions,even if they are in essence,wrong or not right.So the question really is to know,if your emotions are true,and which of those are merely the dictated citizens of a country under false influencial rule.
But how is that even possible,really?
I was just thinking,at 430am this morning,how we humans are always evolving in terms of emotions.But unlike monkeys or Chimpanzees,though we all evolved from one species to another,emotions do not remain in one state for very long.Or rather,they do not stay that way forever,waiting to evolve into another form of emotion.But in truth,the evolution process of our emotions is easily wavered,and that it recesses backwards when blinded by the influence of your mind.
Yeah,it is quite a thought at 430am i must admit,but you must understand that half of the contents on this blog derived from the thoughts that bounces around my head right before i fall asleep,so forgive me for sounding a little irrational at times.
The truth is,that i think under circumstances,different situations,our minds react differently in terms of emotions.We make decisions that we wouldnt normally make,decisions deemed to be stupid and in some ways,outrageous.Here's the reason why i thought this way yesterday night.
In J1,back when i was in J1,i was head over heels for a girl in school.From my pespective right now,i have no idea why i was attracted to her.I mean,sure she is disgustingly cute,and possibly one of the nicest person i have ever met.But in terms of interests,likes and dislikes,we are poles apart.There wouldnt have been a difference between putting us in the same room,and putting us one on each side of the planet.Because really,we were radically different(She likes chinese music,for starters).
You see,but i liked her for reasons that i wasnt very sure of.And to justify that,i came up with reasons myself.I remember leaving a testimonial on Friendster so long ago,and she telling me that she doesnt see all the personality traits in herself.I thought she was just trying to be modest about it.But then,perhaps it was ME,making up reasons to like her,to make my stupidity justified.It was all make believe,my efforts to conjure up reasons to make myself less dumb,more rational,and have a reason to fall head over heels and still smile with a bleeding nose.
Coming back to the present,i was just wondering how our opinions on something can radically change,once you are out of the whirlpool of emotions and staring at the disaster from a safe distance,comfortably on a beach and drinking a cup of ice lemon tea.Your opinions can be drastically different,and that is how i felt yesterday night.
Whatever that i am feeling now might be right,might be in every single way,real.But isnt it possible that it is merely because of the situation,the circumstance that i am in right now,that is dictating my feelings?It is hard to tell,when you are under the influence of these emotional drugs,and you cannot think straight.I cannot tell you if a couple of months down the line i am going to wake up and be objective about everything.Because i can't,and i just have to believe that this is as good as it gets at times.I know,that it sucks to know that there is nothing more than this,but i guess to prevent myself from self-depreciating thoughts,to protect myself from being a victim of myself,i have to take such actions.
It is strange,how some,or all of our emotions could be merely make believes.That everything is merely a result of whatever that is happening around you.I ran through the rain more than three years ago,something deemed as dumb,in today's standards.My standards.But back then it felt so right,because for some unknown reason,all i wanted to do was to have the rain wash away my stupidity,my shame in a way.So all i am saying is,that perhaps we are all justifying our actions,even if they are in essence,wrong or not right.So the question really is to know,if your emotions are true,and which of those are merely the dictated citizens of a country under false influencial rule.
But how is that even possible,really?
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on Monday, October 30, 2006 at 12:51 PM.
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