In Continuum.

Not For the Little Children

Rain.Rain.Go away,
Come again another day.

Rain.Rain.Go away,
Little children want to play.

We were staring up at the teacher,whose name i cannot recall.She was an old lady,probably in her fifties by then.Short neatly trimmed hair,only reaching the back of her ears,and the only shirt i remember her wearing were the white one,with the design of ropes and wheels all over.I dont know why she wore that at that,but you have to consider the fashion trend in the early 90s was rather confused.You know how,when one era transits to the next,people tend to be a little mix of both.Like when you want to grow long hair,especially for guys,and your current hairstyle is like mine: Short and spikey, then you are going to have a problem having long hair.Not that it will take a long time,but because the hairstyle in-between is going to look horrendous and laughable.You know,that long-but-not-really-there kind of hair?Yeah,that's how the fashion trend was back in the early 90s,with people still confusing the 90s and the 80s.

Anyway,i remember her hands were up above her head,and then falling down slowly like rain.The class followed,with a dozen hands reaching up,and the falling down gradually into their laps.That same action was repeated throughout the song,whenever the word "Rain" popped up,and the class - i remember - had a blast mimicking rainfall with their fingers.Of course,as a ripe five year old back then,i was fascinated with the actions as well.

That was the song they taught us in Kindergarten,a song i still remember by heart whenever it rains.We've grown,all the little kids in that classroom back then.We're all leading our own lives: In school, military,out in the streets,or overseas.We are leading our lives,but no one will ever forget the song about the rain,taught to us when we were all so small,still fascinated with the imitating of the rain.We are no longer those children,praying in the safe indoors,for the rain to go away and come again another day,because we wanted to head on out into the playground to play.We are not longer children,but grown-ups now.And yet,everytime it rains,that song plays - at least for me- over and over.

Here comes the rainy season,for real.

I know,that i've broadcasted that news a long time ago,i believe.It rained the same way a couple of months ago,and i remember telling my friends how i enjoyed the way the wind was bringing droplets of rain,as it surged down the corridors and onto my face.My friend,on the other hand,drenched from head to toe from running back from the vehicle shed,stared at me and silently cursed under his breath and how ridiculous i sounded.Of course,i agree with you.I wasnt in the rain,but running around in the rain alone,while everybody else is trying to run away from it,might just put yourself under the "Maniac" category,and a cell is readily available in a military camp,mind you.Oh yes,and a hell lot of ropes.The morale of the story is,although i'd very much like to run around and scream my head off in the rain,i'd rather do it with myself,or somebody with equal level of mental instability.

Anyway,as i was saying,yes the rain is here.And i am not even talking about that Korean motherfucker.I hate the fact that that asshole decided to adopt the name of one of the most beautiful creation of mother nature.And it sucks that everytime somebody mentions "Oh,rain!" and somebody else will probably spin around and gasp,looking for a small-eyed,well-built Korean man with shit for brain and fart for voice.But anyway,that is besides the point.

The point is,that i am out of my mind now.I feel like a kid in a newly opened theme park,watching in awe as the colourful rollercoasters tumble off high cliffs and the bumper cars running into each other,electrical sparks flying off the top of the steel grills,and of course the spinning tea cups going round and round and round.Of course,all these vivid imaginations from the safety of my bunk,as the world turned gray,and torrents of rain coming in waves,like a watery army threatening to wash away the filth of mankind once and for all.There i was in the safety of my bunk looking all,the clothes hanging outside on the railings were being drenched,the room darkening under the cover of the rain clouds,and the boy in the room with a smile across his face.

I recall a particular rainstorm when i was in Primary School.My mother fetched me home as usual,and as we stepped out of the car with my bags everywhere,the rain clouds gathered above,sucking my attention and breath into it.We scrambled into the lift,pressed '19' and then up the elevator went.

My mother made fried rice that day,with sliced ham littered all over the top of the golden grains of rice.Usually,i'd be drooling all over the food,savouring the look of the dish before digging in.But that day was different,because the wind was extraordinarily strong against the glass doors of the balcony.They vibrated,as the wind demostrated its wrath upon the surface.My mother tried to close the doors,but because they were old and heavy,they wouldnt budge as she pushed with all her might.I sat before the television,asking my mother if the doors were going to shatter and break.

'They won't!'my mother reassured.But i wasnt convinced at all,and kept telling her how the wind is going to blow the doors down,the furnitures away,my food down into the swimming pool and everything's going to be wet.My mother was so obviously irritated than she left me in the dark livingroom,panicking myself to death.

That same rainstorm lasted for almost a week.It died down towards the end,but it sure lasted a long time.The glass doors were intact,and nother was blown away in my house.The fried rice ended up in my stomach,and mother was still irritated.

As i sit by the window today,as the world went sailing by in the wind,i thought about that self,before a plate of fried rice,wondering if everything's going to come down upon my head.Rainy days are not meant for children,i realised.They are for people like myself,on the edge of chaos,admiring the world under it's wrath.

You might think that it is a rather cowardice act,to stay indoors and to look at the rain from afar.But someday,i am going to step into it,and run around like a mad dog,try to dodge between the raindrops and then fall asleep in the rain.I want to do that,i really do.But there are just so many people around.Too many in fact,that those children,children like us,the ones trapped inside,are too afraid to open doors and let go of their senses,and just run into the rain and have fun.

Rain.Rain.Go away.
Come again another day.

When everybody goes away,
Little children will come out to play.