In Continuum.

Regurgitation

It is now 5.52am,and the world is just waking up from their slumbers.The beginning of the beginning,with the buses rumbling down the road in front of my estate,minding it's own business and carrying passengers who minded their own businesses too.The sky has yet to brighten,but all around the world is waking up slowly to a brand new working day.

So here i am in front of the computer at eight minutes to 6am,with a plastic bag within my arm's reach and the fan blasting against the back of my head about five metres away.You might wonder what the hell i am doing here at this hour,with that plastic bag in front of me,blogging at the same time.I have to blame it on one word tonight,or rather this morning: Regurgitate.

It's not that i did,but i woke up at 530am just now feeling something tumbling in my stomach.It mustve been the aftermath of yesterday's episode with the gastric,which threatened to suck the life of me towards the center of my body.It was excruciating,just sitting in the toilet and groaning the whole of yesterday afternoon away with a hot waterbag placed between my t-shirt and stomach.The feeling that something is coming out is lingering on the brink of my throat,that familiar feeling people might associate with sea or motion sickness.It mightve been the supper i ate about three hours ago,or it might be anything.I have no idea,but the feeling scared me,as i swung my legs off the side of my bed and felt cold sweat all over.What is happening to me?What is happening to me?

I woke my mother up,and she fixed some pills for me.I dont know why,i couldve done all those myself but i didnt.I guess i just needed her assurance that it is merely the problem of the stomach and not anything else.But the feeling of waking up in the middle of the night with a bulk of air rolling about in your body is rather scary.So i am staying awake now,just in case anything happens.I wouldnt want to throw up all over my bed,or anywhere in my room either.Im just waiting patiently,at least for the feeling to subside.I fear for myself,and more for tomorrow's date with her.Can i make it?How am i supposed to tell her what happened when i have not a clue what is wrong with me?Maybe i am just being over sensitive,but like everything else you cant be too careful i guess.But i hate this feeling,though being up at 6am and watching the world wake up is a rather unique experience by itself.

I am praying for the feeling to go away so that i can sleep better.I wish dearly that by the time i wake up later in the morning,i'll be fine and fit enough to go out with her.But for now,the dreadful wait for something to happen,even if it means i have to fill up bags after bags of regurgitation...

Oh,the world is waking up.Look at the cars on the road,the lights in the streets and the sound of the traffic from far off.Thinking back,about two months ago from today,i was on the phone with a special person late into the night until now.Yeah,we talked on the phone till 6.20am,i remember.I never noticed the scenary outside the window then,since i confined myself to the area between my head and the cocoon-like blanket.The only feeling right now that i hope will last,the nostalgia that comes with the timing of the day,and not the threat of hurling whatever i ate or drank in the past twelve hours on the floor and everywhere else...

This feels like shit.