In Continuum.

Jane's Birthday Party

It's not exactly Jane's birthday today,but what the hell.On this rainy,stormy January day the sky unloaded as the smoke swirled into the air with the blowing of the candles.Confetti flew on the funeral,but that is besides the point.The prayers were said,the songs were sung,and at the end of the day everybody was happy.

Our group bought her lingerie,and i wonder if it was a present for her or really was for her boyfriend.I guess for the boyfriend,the lingerie's only part one of the present,and she is sold separately.But anyway,amidst the crowd of faces,familiar and unfamiliar ones,i found myself lost somehow,drifting slowly out of the air-conditioned room into the playground outside,then into the rain that kept falling and falling and over the streets.I don't remember remembering anything,just drowning in the jazz music in the background,which was overwhelmed by the noise of the crowd.Endless chattering it seemed,laughter and cries.There were lots of hugs exchanged,and more kisses were given to the cheeks of the birthday girls.But as i wandered the spaces between the shoulders of the people at the party,with the small venue and the people compacted inside,it was almost hard to breathe,not because it was suffocating but because there was this hunger to get out of the place,somehow.

But armed with a forceful smile,i talked with the people i haven't met in ages.In the crowd i discovered that i was such an introvert,i hated crowds.The noise,oh the noise.The way they come and go,like waves on the shore of a beach.Crashing and going,pulsating through my veins.It was deafening,as if my senses were pushed up a notch and everything was disturbingly loud.I needed to get out,i needed to leave that place.

And so i did,with the sky still pouring like it never did before."January has April showers.And two and two always makes a five".The lyrics to that Radiohead's song kept on repeating in my head,overpowering all the noise.The way the water splashed onto the sidewalks and the sound of speeding cars down the streets.It was the wrong feeling to leave a party with,the wrong emotions to be flowing through my circuit.But what was it that i should've felt?There was a crowd,but not a crowd of people i loved,i adored or remembered very well.There was a crowd sure,but not a single person could replace that one person i desperately wanted to see on this strange,rainy January night.

But still,i have to say it didnt turn out as bad as i thought it would.I must say that i was nice to see those old friends of mine again,though strictly speaking we didnt exactly catch up.But Dudley is a relief teacher now,can you believe that?Rather ridiculous,to know that back in Secondary School he was somewhat of a rebel,with myself and Timothy.The days we spent outside the classroom while the rest of the class spent it inside,and we had our asses canned by DK a million times.Dudley said it mustve been retribution that the classes he take are stupid,because back then he must not have been very good and cooperative to his teacher either.But oh well,i must say that aside from the fact that i missed her like the sky was missing the sun,i enjoyed myself more or less,for memory's sake.