In Continuum.

Feared As Asians



I saw this picture over at PostSecret.com, and it saddened me. What made it worse was how people sent emails to the host of the blog, expressing their fears for Asians as well, especially after the Virginia Tech incident. Looking down at my pair of hands and my legs, examining the yellow skin and my very Asian features in the mirror, I wonder which part of me can cause such fear amongst the Americans. Why should Asians in general be condemned by fear just because of the acts of one lunatic?

PostSecret is a website that posts anonymous secrets sent in by readers, written on postcards. Some are hilarious, while others are more disturbing in nature. It is updated every Sunday with new entries, and last Sunday's entries had the above picture in it, with the words written in black ink "Asians scare me!". Below the picture, a couple of other readers expressing their fears for Asians as well. Which disturbs me, because it is sad how people are united only at the deaths and tragedy of others, and it is not even for the right reasons!

So one fine morning, one crazy south Korean decided to buy a 9mm and a .22 caliber gun to kill all the people who treated him badly in the past, because the supposedly rich people couldn't feel his sufferings, couldn't experience his pain. I saw the videos on the news, of him mumbling gibberish to the camera, talking about how he was forced to do whatever he did, say whatever he said, which almost made him seem like the victim in this whole bloodshed. In other medias, there are voices from all around backing the killer's acts, saying that it was the students' fault to have forced him into the corner, and other absurd arguments along the lines of the murderer's innocence.

Personally, I did not grow up in a social circle that accepted me as who I am initially. All through Primary and Secondary school, I was met with really nasty people who treated you like pure dirt. Especially in Secondary school, being a lot thinner and weaker, there were issues in class about me being a Taiwanese, and also the fact that I was better than them in Chinese. They didn't like everything that I said, or did, or even the look of me in the class sometimes. I did not have an easy life initially, and I literally broke my way out of the circle of fists and feet just to be where I am now. But the truth is, I never bought guns, or brought any sharp objects to school just to stab those people in the guts just because they treated me the way they did. Because I knew, by standing up to them and coming out from the ashes, I am already stronger than those cowards who would only gang up against you, and never on a one on one fight with fists. After all, as cliche as it sounds, what doesn't kill you makes you a stronger person.

So seriously, being ostracized and disliked is definitely not the bloody excuse you should use to kill 32 innocent students in school. You probably wasn't very likable in the first place, and probably never made an effort to do so either. Do you think that you are standing up for all the outcasts in the world, that you are some kind of hero by gunning down those innocent lives? The truth is, there are worse off people than you in the world, and they are not killing these so-called bullies are they? Nobility and pride do not apply to you, and look what you have done to the Asian population in America and the world. People FEAR us now, all thanks to you.

I wonder why, when the Columbine incident happened, nobody ever said "Wow, I am ashamed to be an American" or "I am afraid of Americans now". The truth is, there are angry people everywhere, no matter if you are black, white, yellow or brown. The fact is, given a gun and a bit of insanity, anything could happen to any race of people. So why should Asians suddenly be condemned and feared just because ONE of us killed a whole bunch of other Americans? Do you see Asians carrying guns on the streets nowadays, or do they pose threat of any kind to you? Oh, of course not. They just LOOK Asian, and thus they have more potential of killing you after the Virginia Tech incident than anybody else.

It saddens me to see that, only after the deaths of 32 people is the nation reconsidering their law on guns and other weaponry. Also, the way people came together at the mourning of the dead, and at the same time united by this common fear for the same group of people. I am not saying this is the mentality of all Americans, but still it saddens me that there are people in this world FEARING Asians for that. It doesn't make me feel great about my race, because someone of my race is out there in the States being given the cold shoulder or the evil stare, as if they did something wrong by being themselves.

I also wonder, when the people are going to realize that perhaps it is about time to put aside racial differences, and just look upon the fact that 32 people were shot and killed out of rage and frustration. We all like to point fingers, because it is so easy to blame others rather than ourselves. But then again, sometimes it is not about who to blame, or who should take responsibility. It doesn't matter anymore, if the school should have done more or if the government should have had a more stringent law on guns. The fact is that these people died, and no amount of accusations or hate is going to bring these people back to life.

Because like the great Yoda said in Star Wars, fear leads to anger eventually. You cannot deny that some people are going to start hating Asians, despising us and condemning us. Some people will do that for sure, and this might only be the beginning of the end. Who knows? All the world is going to hell anyone, and we are the spectators of our own slow suicide. Like Samantha said, that is how the world is going to end: By our own hands, drowned in our own blood. And hate and anger shall boil in the sea of red.