In Continuum.

An Inside Look

It's been exactly a week since my school officially started a week ago, and let's just say that aside from the horrendous traffic in the peak hours and the long hours of traveling, I've been enjoying myself in the classes and in the company of my new found friends. But then again, the first two weeks is the so-called honeymoon period, or the blissful times. I am sure that by the middle of the semester, the sound of the students dragging their feet to school would become louder, and the low groans at the mentioning of yet another quiz or test is going to make the walls of lecture halls rumble. In fact, there is a hundred percent certainty that that is going to be the case in a couple of weeks' time, so hold out for my review on that.

But for now, to those curious people out there who have been asking me about the life I've been living in school, here's a little summary of the whole shebang. But of course, it is impossible to go into great details about every aspect of the new school life. So I am just going to do a little insight into the social structure in a classroom or lecture theater. It is radically different from the ones in Junior College, Secondary School, or any of the social structure that I have previously experienced. So with the warning given out and the readers braced, here we go.

The Clueless

By the second English class last week, we were separated into different classes with about twenty odd students each. Our teacher is called Mrs. Venka-something, and we all call her Nina because she dislikes her husband's last name. Anyway, she is a nice lady standing at a little over the height of my shoulders, and her stout figure blocks most of the white board whenever she is at the front of the class. But she is interesting nonetheless, and her way of getting to know us in the first tutorial was to have us answer three questions regarding the subject of English. 1) What do you like about English? 2) What do you dislike about English? 3) What do you tolerate about English?

An average student would go," What I like about English is probably the flexibility to express myself, and how I am able to communicate with others through words. What I dislike about English is probably grammar, because I am not good at it, and what I can tolerate English. Which is why I am here in the first place". That sounds like a boring answer, but that is totally fine. I mean, you really cannot pick any mistakes or penalize whoever that says something like that as self-introduction. But there was a girl in class, who answered it this way: I like nothing about English. I dislike English, and I tolerate nothing about it.

The moment she said that in her awfully broken English, the rest of the class sank into a momentary silence that seemingly lasted for eternity, which was ensued by the surprised gasps and the vibrant display of multi-colored display of imaginary question marks on top of everybody's heads. Of course, we did not actually say the following sentences, but in our hearts we thought to ourselves: So what the hell are you doing in this class, taking up our precious time and oxygen? At least that is what I said in my head, as I stared at her - shocked and bewildered. So the Ms. Clueless Universe award goes to our Ms. English-Hater. Congratulations. Next.

The Judge

There are points to be scored in class participation, and the points would eventually end up on your final results at the end of each semester. If you are brilliant on your paper, that is good. But if you are going to keep silent in class and not share your thoughts with people, then you are probably going to screw yourself very bad for the class participation category. Because of that, you get a sudden surge of class participation whenever a teacher asks a question, which is a rather rare sight for me because I've been used to having the teacher's questions answered by an awkward wave of utter silence. But anyway, that is not the case in Universities definitely, and while I enjoy the active participations in class, there are people who gets on my nerves once in a while.

Let's say a teacher asks a question right now, and then you are free to answer without the need to put up your hand, or ask permission to speak. Without a doubt, there will be a voice in the corner of the lecture theater, rising above anybody else's, and then answering the lecturer's question, as if by not answering her question her participation points would get flushed down the toilet bowl. She is whom I'd like to call - The Judge.

She doesn't have a very clear way of speaking, and she uses the words "I mean" like punctuations. Let's say I am introducing myself right now, and I go "Hello, my name is Will and I was from Nanyang Junior College". The same sentence then becomes "Hello. My name is Will. I mean, I was from, I mean, NanYang Junior College." It gets a little difficult to understand what she is trying to say, though she does have a point sometimes. You have to be aggressive in class yes, but sometimes it gets a little too overboard and the others who want to have a shot at answering the question might be overwhelmed by your over-enthusiasm. I felt like she was a sub-machine gun of sorts, firing her words without thinking twice about them. Perhaps she should calm down the next time round, it might work better for the rest of us who are trying to understand her.

The Pink-Colored Horrors

When it comes to noise, there is a certain attack radius if you decide to use it as a weapon. I have absolutely nothing against people who likes pink, but then if you are going to go around screaming to the world about how much an airhead you are, then it can get on other people's nerves, especially when you do it in the middle of the bloody lecture.

Like I said, nothing against bimbos, in fact I am sure they are fun and harmless people to befriend with - not to say that I am going to do that any time soon of course. But when you are talking nonstop for the whole damn lecture to your friends about anything but the topics at hand, please share your stories about marshmallows and butterflies in the vicinity outside the lecture theater, because to the rest of us attending the class, we are honestly more interested about the principles of communications, the perspectives involved instead of whether you like flowers or the color pink or not. We are seriously not interested, and if there is a way to pull that vocal chord of yours out of that throat and then stuffing it up your nostrils, I would.

She has a 4x4 attack radius, even more powerful than a missile in an average Battleship game, which usually only allows a single box to be attacked at every one turn. She attacks the 'ships' around her all the time with her hissy-fits, her whining, her gossips, and most of all her pink aura. And it sure as hell isn't helped by the fact that her friends are the same as herself, the kind of people who likes to occupy the empty space at the top of every worksheet with bold pink letters of their own names. Not to forget, the flowers at the very end of their names and all around the perimeter. I hope there is an air-tight box for people like that, and they can go on and on about marshmallows and butterflies for all I care in the box the next time around. Live and die in the box, and perhaps they will all share a Heaven in the land of the Teletubbies. Oh look at the plastic flowers and the baby face in the sun! They are going to be SO happy.

The Idiot

When it comes to voicing your opinions, it doesn't hurt if you are going to be funny. And if you want the respect and appreciation of the general crowd in a lecture theater who don't know you, you got to be the following: Smart, really smart, funny or witty, or all of the above if possible. You do not stand up in class and then ask the teacher something which is utterly unfunny, completely stupid, and absolutely ridiculous. You do not put your hand up in the middle of a bunch of people who don't know you, say something lame, and expect people to view you with respect afterwards. Because it doesn't work that way honey, it really doesn't.

Today in class, there was a question posed, as to what is the meaning of the phrase "Communication is a process". As enthusiastic as he was, he raised his hand to answer that question, and he used an analogy in the process of explaining the phrase. I thought it was an alright analogy in the beginning, and it was something that concerned the process of asking a girl out for a date or something like that. So in turn, the lecturer asked him how he usually asks a girl out on a date. Happily, he answered," Be as funny as possible".

There was a moment of silence, and then the ladies started groaning for some reason. I won't say that I am a particularly good woman-izer, or if I know the art of seduction or whatever. But at least I know that "Be as funny as possible" is definitely not in the books of attraction. The furtherest it is going to get you is to a gain status as being the most foolish guy on campus, and that's about it. You don't get to go out with the girl, you won't get to share a cup of drink with the girl, and you won't even get anywhere within ten meters of the girl's pants with that kind of attitude. And with that said and done, you thought his public showcase of stupidity was over. Think again.

The topic of discussion then came to pets when we discussing the meaning of the phrase "Communication is inclusive". Now, basically it means that communication does not merely occur between two human beings, but it could occur between a human and a dog for example, or a canary, or perhaps your pet tarantula, whatever. Basically, it is not limited to something which will give you an interactive response. It could be your table, if you really want to talk to it in fact.

So when the topic came, to liven up the spirit of the class, the teacher started asking if anybody has pets at home. One of them said a dog, another girl said a cat, and this brilliant young man - the same one - raised up his hand and said," Elephant". Seriously, that was the single most idiotic answer I have heard in my entire life. To be funny in a stupid way is one thing, and being stupid in a funny way is another. That guy was neither, and was just down right stupid. Oh, I am sure your father is some Sultan in a tribe in the middle of Africa, or the king of Brunei or something. I am sure your family can afford to have elephants running around in your backyard, and have enough servants to clean up their dungs. How brilliant! You must be a royalty somewhere, so what the hell are you doing here?

So there you go, a little insight to what goes on in a lecture theater usually. Of course, these people are merely the minority, and nobody should assume that everybody is like that. After all, whenever one of the above speaks, there will be people rolling their eyeballs, showing a sense of disagreement and intelligence. We aren't all like that really, but it takes only the minority to spoil the image of the whole.