Oh, Women
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Oh, Women
All men out there, listen up. I think we could all agree on something in our lives that holds true: we love women. I love women, or girls, or the ladies, or the opposite sex, however you want to call them. I love women because they smell nice generally, though some men love women for other reasons. For example, a desperate and lonely men could love women because they satisfy his sexual desires, makes sense. Other lonely men could love women because they were brought up by single mothers, and has a special affiliation to women in general, makes sense too. There are little boys in primary school who'd tell you that they hate girls in their classroom because "they smell funny". That's why little primary school boys would come together during recess and then talk about the girls that they hate the most, which usually are also the ones whom they like the most. In primary school, everything is usually the opposite, because you never want to be caught liking some other girl in class, because liking someone was seen as being really embarrassing. So, little boys hate little girls even if they really like little girls, makes sense. Even gay men like women, and by that I mean they don't have anything against women even if they do prefer men sexually. No one is going to say "I hate women" with a straight face, you just can't.
All men out there, listen up. I think we could all agree on something in our lives that holds true: we love women. I love women, or girls, or the ladies, or the opposite sex, however you want to call them. I love women because they smell nice generally, though some men love women for other reasons. For example, a desperate and lonely men could love women because they satisfy his sexual desires, makes sense. Other lonely men could love women because they were brought up by single mothers, and has a special affiliation to women in general, makes sense too. There are little boys in primary school who'd tell you that they hate girls in their classroom because "they smell funny". That's why little primary school boys would come together during recess and then talk about the girls that they hate the most, which usually are also the ones whom they like the most. In primary school, everything is usually the opposite, because you never want to be caught liking some other girl in class, because liking someone was seen as being really embarrassing. So, little boys hate little girls even if they really like little girls, makes sense. Even gay men like women, and by that I mean they don't have anything against women even if they do prefer men sexually. No one is going to say "I hate women" with a straight face, you just can't.
But then again, a lot of things have been done for love, you know. I hit you because I love you, I abuse you because I love you, I kill you because I love you, it's complicated - just ask Mark Chapman. A lot of atrocities in human history have been done because of love, which makes this little thing called love a very ambiguous thing. Every single Crusade has been done because of the love for two different Gods, though I am pretty sure killing each other wasn't in either of the two good books. It doesn't take a lot to move from love to hate though, and it is true as far as cliche goes when they talk about how there is only a fine line in between things. I always wonder where the point is, the moment you tell yourself that you don't love a person any longer, and you translate that love to hate with all your heart. It's strange but, nobody ever said that love is easy. A lot of men proclaim their love for their wives or their girlfriends, but then again there are also a lot of women who are in abusive relationships. There are probably more women who are silently suffering under the kicks and punches of their husbands, but they are not telling because their husbands are doing it for the love of it all. It's complicated.
Maybe that is why I don't understand why men like to treat women like shit, you know? Of course, the words "like shit" is merely an expression and not exactly accurate. Abusive men don't treat women like shit, because you don't keep a lump of shit around just to kick it every once in a while. Abusive men probably think of women as anger control balls that happen to have vaginas. You are drunk, pissed off with the world, and you come home and are in need to take it out on somebody. So you ask your wife to come out for a beating, and you feel good about yourself - though, not enough. So you want to have sex with her just to make you feel even better, to make you feel that at least you are still in power, that you are still in control. It is this "male pride" thing I suppose, and don't blame it on the extra Y-chromosomes. I don't know any abusive husbands, but I am trying to understand why they are the way that they are now. They hug their wives close to their bodies and tell everybody that they love them, and yet everybody can see the big black bruise around her eyes, what's up with that. Women are like anger control balls to them, though they only provide a temporary relief to things. Just keep them breathing, keep them alive, they need them to be around on another drunken night like this.
The same abusive men are the ones who are probably behind every gangster rap songs out there that talks about 1) The ghetto 2) Your greatly exaggerated past as a criminal 3) How much money you have 4) Your desire to fornicate with a woman 5) Your bitches. If you are a female character in a rap song, you are a bitch. Not because we see you as being a bitch, but because the rapper calls you that, for some reason. You hear it all the time, and it appears in the song somewhere between him boasting about his bullet scars and all his money. He loves you so much that he is willing to think that you are a female dog of some kind, though they never actually specify the breed. I don't see how people like these can rationalize such things, loving someone and calling someone a bitch at the same time. The last I heard, a "bitch" is supposed to be a negative term, not a word to replace the word "girlfriend". I don't suppose calling your partner a female dog is, in any way, flattering in any culture out there. Probably just in your tiny little pretentious gangster rap world but, that is a different world altogether from the rest of us out there with brains. Is it really that hard to love someone and not have that person be your sex slave at the same time?
This whole argument in regards to gender equality has been going on for the longest time, and it has quite a large foothold in what I am studying right now (or rather, I really should be studying it right now). I'm pretty sure all those women out there with bruises on their faces and a patch of burned skin would like to go back to the hunting and gathering days, when men and women were seen as being equals. Somewhere down the line, being unable to hunt for animals for nine whole months was seen as being something weak, and that was probably when a women's role started to take a step back. The men must have been shocked, the very first men that had sex with women anyway. Not only did they change the size of their stomachs, they also changed their roles entirely as a result - how strange. So women have been treated unequally all throughout human history, one way or another. Even in the Indian caste system, for example, it is infinitely better if you are a men. If you are in the lowest caste, the untouchables, it is still better to be a men, because you probably still get more privileges as a men. If you are a men, your life is probably going to be a bucket of shit, where as a women in the same caste probably receive a tub. If you are a woman, you are short changed, and that's the reality of things - which I don't get.
It just seems like it all comes down to this male pride thing, I suppose. Men don't like to know that a women in the same position as himself could potentially get paid more. Which is why women all around the world get paid, on average, 70% less than men even if they are in the same position. Men like to think that no matter how smart or how capable the women are, they are never going to be paid the same as them - and that makes them feel better about themselves. They like to think that no matter how much beating they get at work by their colleagues or their bosses, they can always go home and do some beating and feel better at the end of the day. It is this intangible pride they have to uphold somehow, and love just seems to be the key to bring it all down. I think true love makes one vulnerable, the way it opens up doors and to opportunities. You start to do things that are out of character, things that you wouldn't normally do. I have heard of guys making gifts for their girlfriends, when they are the same guys who failed during art lessons in high school. I, for one, have never been too good with making gifts either, but this little thing called "love" made me try, and try, and try harder.
True love opens up this dam in your head, and everything is allowed to come through, and a lot of men don't like the idea of that. They don't like to have anything change the constancy in their lives, they want everything to remain the same and yet, still receive the benefits of having a woman around the house for them to have sex with (this is where the anger control ball with the vagina comes in). Love is a slippery slope, I tell you, you take a step down that road and you have to go the rest of the way till the very end. You open up one door, and you open up a lot of doors along the way, and everything comes in along the way. Women have been socialized to think that it is OK to be emotional, to cry, to breakdown, whatever. Our parents have told us to not "cry like a girl", because girls are supposed to cry and boys are not. That is why, when it comes to falling in love, girls are infinitely more ready to do so than boys. Then again, of course, change the word "love" to "lust" and you have a completely different story, but that's besides the point. The point is that we were never expected to be open with our thoughts, to be expressive with our emotions, to show our vulnerabilities to others. Love, however, does all of the above, and it breaks the balance that has been in the male community for the longest time.
Speaking of the male community, all women should consider themselves as being lucky if you are not a woman in Africa, or the Middle East. The video below is a television talk show in a Middle East country, whereby an author talks about the best way to beat up your wife - yeah, on television. According to them, beating the face is not good, because you don't do that to camels or donkeys. You don't slap her around left and right either, because that'd make them ugly. Basically, you can hit her as hard as you want, whichever way you desire, just as long as it is below the neck, does not leave a mark, and does not make her uglier than before. So much for being Muslims, since they have prided themselves for their egalitarianism in regards to women. You don't justify something just because "it is written in the Holy Book". Have an original thought, be flexible. It's a freakin' book, get over it. I don't think women deserve to be treated like that. Or rather, I don't think any humans deserve to be treated like that. If you don't set your car on fire just because it doesn't start, you shouldn't be beating your wife just because she isn't doing "what you want". The world does not revolve your arrogance, so get over yourself.
Videos like that remind you that there are a lot of inequalities in this world. As much as people tend to tell you that "life is unfair" and try to convince you that that is the truth, these are the kind of things that should never be tolerated. It's just sad that there are some men who see it as being normal and right, and even sadder when some women agree. Ultimately, what is "right" is socially constructed, and at the same time we should never try to impose our beliefs and our values upon others. Sociology tries to teach us to have cultural relativism, to look upon other cultures and try to understand their point of view, and not be judgmental and critical about what they do or do not. Still, when you have a whole country full of chauvinistic pigs, you start to wonder if cultural relativism really should be practiced in view of this unfairness that goes on in the region. Oh, don't judge us because we beat our wives, have a bit of cultural relativism. I am sorry but, I do not agree with that at all. I mean, I love women, and I want to go to great lengths to love them, you know?
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on Sunday, November 30, 2008 at 12:41 PM.
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