In Continuum.

Festive Bullshit

So Saturday was my little breakaway from my usual routine life.I headed down to town with Ahmad for lunch,and at the same time get my wife* fixed.She had a problem in the neck apparently,and the paycheck amounted up to a stunning $150,but i guess its worth it.The dude's name is Kelvin Ho or something,and he said something about heating up her neck and then filing the bridge section...something like that.He seemed professional enough i guess,i trusted him with my wife,for a week.Which also means i am going to be stuck with my first wife**,but that's okay with me as well.Got to go back to your roots,right?

Dont you just hate festive seasons in Singapore?Not just festive seasons in particular but,holidays that involve mass celebrations.Christmas,New Year and Chinese New Year,and the likes of those.I know i am peculiar to say this,but i seriously hate those days.I mean,i like the idea of taking a break from life of course.The fact that you can sit on your bed with the air-conditioning turned on without a speck of guilt whatsoever is liberating.However,i hate going out on those days,and here are some of the reasons.

1)The crowd makes you pity sardines.
2)Horrendous festive music everywhere,you think 5566's Chopin.
3)Ugly decorations everywhere,you start to appreciate graffiti.
4)Overall happy aura.
5)Exploitation.
6)Crazy foam-straying teenagers.
7)Fat shoppers.

Those were just some of the things i hate about festive seasons.Of course,there are other problems,but i shall not begin to elaborate.So there we were at Bugis shopping,and i realised the similarity between younger generations of teenagers nowadays.Okay,that statement just made me sound incredibly old,but im only turning twenty this year,really.I mean,really.Is it just me,or are they all wearing the same,with the same hairstyle,and carrying the same type of handbags?I guess in a way,you cant really blame them because there are only so many places selling clothes and stuff in Singapore.Another reason why Singa-bore is such a...as the name suggests,a boring place.I mean,the girls werent bad looking or anything,it's just this standard image of them everywhere.It's like there is an imaginary P.A system overhead telling everybody,"If you want to look good,dress like that".

We headed down to an Italian restaurant down at Parco called Sketcher's.It's a great great restaurant,and what a pity that Tracy wasnt working on that day.You get to customize your pastas and stuff,and the Tiramisu was the best i have ever tasted.Ever.I remember digging my spoon into it and taking a bite out of it and stared at Ahmad,"Holy shit...",then cradled my head in my hands.It was that good,really.

Anyway,back to the festive bullshit.We crossed this stage put up for some Chinese New Year performance thing while on the way from Bugis to Sim Lim.It was horrendous,and they were blasting crazy chinese new year music everywhere.I mean,why cant traditional chinese new year songs be like...Christmas songs or some Christian songs?At least they have some variety in terms of the genre.Chinese New Year music is just...the lowest of all music.I mean,seriously.Instead of feeling the mood of the on-coming holiday you feel like skipping it altogether and put a nail to your eardrums.

Then there's red.Not here or there,but everywhere.Comon',there was no monster back in the ancient days to eat villagers,and which kind of monsters are afraid of the colour red and not afraid to chew up a 80 year old woman?That latter sounding terribly disgusting,seriously.

Its not that Christmas is better than Chinese New Year though,its just that it's worse than Christmas that's all.I remember last year's Christmas when i was unfortunately stuck on Orchard,and there were this bunch of teenagers straying each other with foam.All right,so i was already fuming from the heat of the crowd and the speed they were moving at.I swear,if i leopard crawled from HMV to Shaw Tower it wouldnt have made a difference in terms of speed.Anyhow,so there they were threatening to destroy my carefully set hair and shirt.One dude with face all covered in foam was dashing towards me at one point,and he had this "Oh you are so going to be covered in this shit" look.So i pointed a finger(Not the one but,just the index)and went,"Hey,fuck off." He stopped in his tracks and was stunned,then went on back to spray other poor shoppers.

Bloody lunatic.

At least during Chinese New Year i get money for all those shit.Crap music,or rather noise.At least i get that,right?I guess in a way i am way more fortunate than ordinary Singaporeans,in the sense that they have to pay visits to their relatives and tolerate hypocritical conversations.Oh Lord,thank god i am 4000km away from my relatives.I wouldve demanded for more money though,and maybe at the same time an extra orange or two.

So there we go,festive bullshit.And it's a week to Chinese New Year mind you,and i am already feeling it.Oh well,i guess i will stay at home over the weekend watching Dvds.Garden State was such a great great movie in my opinion.Natalie Portman's so cute.Hahaha.

Andrew Largeman,"You know, this necklace makes me think of this totally random memory of my mother. I was a little kid, and I was crying for one reason or another. And she was cradling me, rocking me back and forth, and I can just remember the silver balls rolling around. And there was like snot running down my nose. And she offered me her sleeve and told me to blow my nose into it. And I can remember, even as a little kid, thinking to myself, this is love... this is love."

Sam,"If you can't laugh at yourself, life's gonna seem a whole lot longer than you like."

Sam,"He is my knight in shiny armour."
Andrew Largeman,"Don't talk about knights around Mark,it's a sore subject."
Mark,"Im gonna kill that motherfucker."
Andrew Largeman,"Pun intended?"

Sam,"Here comes the lipstick."


*My wife being my guitar,Martin.

**My first wife being my guitar,Yamaha.