Tagged
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Tagged
I am tagged.I am tagged.I am TAGGED!
Okay,calm down.It's not a plague or anything,though technically speaking it is.It is one of those chain letters thing,those you have to pass it on to five other people,something like that.Though this one i was tagged to did not threaten a headless woman visiting my room six minutes after midnight,or the supposed plane that is going to crash into my condo,i found it pretty interesting to begin with.Oh well,so i am tagged thanks to Corinna.I didnt even intend to use any brainpower tonight,just let loose while listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.But oh well,here we go:
The Rules:
1. List ten things you want to say to 10 people but know you never will.
2. Don't say who they are.
3. Feel free to comment, but leave a name, or at least something I can refer you by.
The Confessions:
1.Seeing your retarded photograph with your girlfriend makes me feel like confessing everything,to her.I have this sudden urge to tell her what you did to this other girl,remember?How you traumatized her life for that period of time,you sick bastard.What are you doing with such an ordinary girl anyway,or are you just content with any female with breasts?Tell me,and be honest you schmuck,have you stopped terrorising females yet you sick motherfucker?Oh,i noticed your sick efforts to fill that gap in the bridge,i know because i see.But let me tell you this,there never was a bloody bridge to speak of.You are not going to win a golden man for acting the way you do,because the day you did whatever you did to that friend of mine you topped my list as my favourite motherfucker.So piss off,you sick freak.
2.You saw me through my growing-up,in merely three months of our times together,or lack thereof really.You never meant to do the things you did,or never did,but it helped me a great deal.I learnt a lot,so much more than you and i could ever imagine.I know,at that time it probably felt like the worst thing that happened in the world for me,as it crumbled around me in the rain.But now i realised,now i know how strange it turned out to be,a lesson in life you taught me through the most peculiar and subconscious way of yours.So thank you,thank you so very much for your subtle teachings.Thank you.
3.Most of our conversations never had anything more than...random chats about life,and the messed up aspects of it all.Despite the efforts to dwell into deeper and perhaps more profound topics we always end up swirling out of orbit into the realms of the stupid and the lame,even when i am feeling the utmost depressed,when i am in the deepest of pits.You carried me out,you held me up high as you dusted me off and made me smile again with those supposedly stupid and meaningless conversations.They might not mean anything to me,just everyday things in life you say to anybody,but to me it means a whole lot more than just,routines and talks.It's the evidence of your existence in my life,that i most appreciate.I am just so thankful that you are here,and you were there,and always will be.Thank you,really.Thanks.
4.I understand that things out of my hands now,that i have passed the task to you.However unwilling i am,i wish you all the best i guess.I dont hate you,and for strange reason i feel that i should.It's that "Stereotype" emotions thing that i have,certain situations that should call for a certain set of emotions.I dont hate you,but perhaps it is because i dont know you at all.I called you names,names you never got to hear.I cursed you,i really did.But they were never out of any evil intentions.I just needed to let go,to let loose i guess.You just so happened to be the easy target of things,and i just needed to swallow my bitter pills.I hope you take good care of whoever is with you right now,the one that matters the most.You look happy,you really do.I dont know you,i dont think i ever would.But if ever one day,that person should come back,however slim that possibility might be,i will skin you alive.But for now,good luck man.Dont disappoint her,or me,take care of her for me.
5.You are not alone when you cried on the stairs,you really arent.You are not the only person who ever cried in public before,because i am one of you guy,the public-sobbing club member.I did it only once,but i sincerely knows how it feels like,to hold them back so hard but they dont listen to you,and they just keep rolling.You are afraid to let others see,but you so desperately wants somebody to know how you feel.I knew,i really did.We never talked,we never saw each other at all,with that railing between us.But i could feel you,from the other side of the metal railing,that you were bleeding,tearing up.What i want to say to you,perhaps i shouldve said it then is this: China men suck.Taiwanese are better.
6.I love the way you appreciate whatever i say,everytime we talk.It seems like long before we first talked to each other,we already knew each other.It's like one of those deja vu moments,you know?I appreciate the late-night talks that we had,how we talked about the philosophies of life,death and everything in between.However invisible you are to me,though i have never seen you before,your voice over the phone that time was touching,despite you not touching at all.I love the seriousness of our talks,though they are most of the time bleak and cheerless,gloomy and pessimistic.But remember that promise i made to you?How we will pull through this together?I am holding on to that promise,i really am.And i hope you will,too.Thank you so much for being there,and not there at the same time.Really,i treasure you too much to tell you in the face.
7.I'm sorry you had to go up to the authorities to clean my ass.I'm sorry that you had to live with life the way you do now.I'm sorry that you had to rush me to the hospital so many times.I'm sorry if i made you worry at all,so many times.I'm sorry i vomited in your blouse.I'm sorry for not calling you more often from camp.I'm sorry for not knowing you better,the one person i should know by heart.I'm so sorry,for everything,though i never meant to do you wrong.Never.I will do you proud,i will.
8.All i remember of you are the Sarsi soft drinks i used to grab from the fridge.The rundown house i used to go whenever i am at your place.That smell of moist in the house,and somehow in your hair too the smell of age.To me you were merely that person with the money,with the cash.I know,that it is disrespectful,but i never knew.I never knew.But i appreciate you,only now.Only years too late.I appreciate how you brough her up,and in turn brought me up.Thank you,wherever you are.
9.How we've drifted apart,from the buddies we used to be to now,this.I understand the currents of life,how they always make things drift apart once they come together.They can never be the same,once we throw ourselves into this pool of life.You've met people,people of more interest in your life than perhaps the old friends you made,but i still remember the times we spent together,fooling around in school and just spending the times after school talking about lousy chinese,gay principals and bad eating habits.It's just bus stops,man.Like what our teacher told us before.We are just passengers at the bus stop,and when your ride comes you got to get on.You have to,because you know each of us,every one of us have to move on,to let go.We have our lives to lead,and you too.I have mine,and in that way we are always drifting apart.But i had you,and you had me.And under the sun,in those days,our vision turned purple even in the classroom,remember?Missed those days man,really.
10.There is nothing left to say,is there?I've blogged about it so many times,i am sick of myself for doing so already.Perhaps,that is the only reason why i have decided to quit you.But i wish i knew how to do that,to quit you.I am learning,i am still a newbie at this.I told you i will learn to get used to it,to be rejected,utterly rejected.I am still under your feet,cant you see,cant you feel?I dont know if i'd ever be able to get used to this nakedness that i am in right now,i feel like i am in the rain stark naked and you are at the end of the field with that guy,staring at me under the same umbrella.How i wish,that the world could read my blog entries,my songs and my poems,and tell me i was wrong about you,that i miscalculated,that i never saw the right side of you in me,and myself in you.How i wish somebody could just tell me that i was stupid,that i was foolish,that i was wrong.But i wasnt,i wasnt.I know,and i still stand by the fact that i knew,that it was all justified.But isnt it supposed to have no regrets,when things were justified?
Now,what am i talking about,really.Just gibberish.Oh look,tears again.I swore to myself,damn it why do you have to come back to me.Why do you have to return to me,to haunt me like you are doing now.Go away,go away.I thought i had things settled,all of your things,the sweetest storylines,all packed up and ready to leave?I thought we had set things straight,set things behind?Why are things coming back again?What the hell went wrong,why are we back in square one?Why am i the only one crying over this circle that we've made,this endless cycle that is going on?Dont leave me hanging,dont leave me a loose end.Tell me,tell me...come back to me.Break this circle,come back to me...
Dont leave me ninty-eight and six degrees of separation from you,because i survive for the breath you are finished with.Just dont leave me,alone here,it's cold.
That's all i have to say,about that.To you,number 10.Oh,number 10.Why do you hurt me so...
I am tagged.I am tagged.I am TAGGED!
Okay,calm down.It's not a plague or anything,though technically speaking it is.It is one of those chain letters thing,those you have to pass it on to five other people,something like that.Though this one i was tagged to did not threaten a headless woman visiting my room six minutes after midnight,or the supposed plane that is going to crash into my condo,i found it pretty interesting to begin with.Oh well,so i am tagged thanks to Corinna.I didnt even intend to use any brainpower tonight,just let loose while listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.But oh well,here we go:
The Rules:
1. List ten things you want to say to 10 people but know you never will.
2. Don't say who they are.
3. Feel free to comment, but leave a name, or at least something I can refer you by.
The Confessions:
1.Seeing your retarded photograph with your girlfriend makes me feel like confessing everything,to her.I have this sudden urge to tell her what you did to this other girl,remember?How you traumatized her life for that period of time,you sick bastard.What are you doing with such an ordinary girl anyway,or are you just content with any female with breasts?Tell me,and be honest you schmuck,have you stopped terrorising females yet you sick motherfucker?Oh,i noticed your sick efforts to fill that gap in the bridge,i know because i see.But let me tell you this,there never was a bloody bridge to speak of.You are not going to win a golden man for acting the way you do,because the day you did whatever you did to that friend of mine you topped my list as my favourite motherfucker.So piss off,you sick freak.
2.You saw me through my growing-up,in merely three months of our times together,or lack thereof really.You never meant to do the things you did,or never did,but it helped me a great deal.I learnt a lot,so much more than you and i could ever imagine.I know,at that time it probably felt like the worst thing that happened in the world for me,as it crumbled around me in the rain.But now i realised,now i know how strange it turned out to be,a lesson in life you taught me through the most peculiar and subconscious way of yours.So thank you,thank you so very much for your subtle teachings.Thank you.
3.Most of our conversations never had anything more than...random chats about life,and the messed up aspects of it all.Despite the efforts to dwell into deeper and perhaps more profound topics we always end up swirling out of orbit into the realms of the stupid and the lame,even when i am feeling the utmost depressed,when i am in the deepest of pits.You carried me out,you held me up high as you dusted me off and made me smile again with those supposedly stupid and meaningless conversations.They might not mean anything to me,just everyday things in life you say to anybody,but to me it means a whole lot more than just,routines and talks.It's the evidence of your existence in my life,that i most appreciate.I am just so thankful that you are here,and you were there,and always will be.Thank you,really.Thanks.
4.I understand that things out of my hands now,that i have passed the task to you.However unwilling i am,i wish you all the best i guess.I dont hate you,and for strange reason i feel that i should.It's that "Stereotype" emotions thing that i have,certain situations that should call for a certain set of emotions.I dont hate you,but perhaps it is because i dont know you at all.I called you names,names you never got to hear.I cursed you,i really did.But they were never out of any evil intentions.I just needed to let go,to let loose i guess.You just so happened to be the easy target of things,and i just needed to swallow my bitter pills.I hope you take good care of whoever is with you right now,the one that matters the most.You look happy,you really do.I dont know you,i dont think i ever would.But if ever one day,that person should come back,however slim that possibility might be,i will skin you alive.But for now,good luck man.Dont disappoint her,or me,take care of her for me.
5.You are not alone when you cried on the stairs,you really arent.You are not the only person who ever cried in public before,because i am one of you guy,the public-sobbing club member.I did it only once,but i sincerely knows how it feels like,to hold them back so hard but they dont listen to you,and they just keep rolling.You are afraid to let others see,but you so desperately wants somebody to know how you feel.I knew,i really did.We never talked,we never saw each other at all,with that railing between us.But i could feel you,from the other side of the metal railing,that you were bleeding,tearing up.What i want to say to you,perhaps i shouldve said it then is this: China men suck.Taiwanese are better.
6.I love the way you appreciate whatever i say,everytime we talk.It seems like long before we first talked to each other,we already knew each other.It's like one of those deja vu moments,you know?I appreciate the late-night talks that we had,how we talked about the philosophies of life,death and everything in between.However invisible you are to me,though i have never seen you before,your voice over the phone that time was touching,despite you not touching at all.I love the seriousness of our talks,though they are most of the time bleak and cheerless,gloomy and pessimistic.But remember that promise i made to you?How we will pull through this together?I am holding on to that promise,i really am.And i hope you will,too.Thank you so much for being there,and not there at the same time.Really,i treasure you too much to tell you in the face.
7.I'm sorry you had to go up to the authorities to clean my ass.I'm sorry that you had to live with life the way you do now.I'm sorry that you had to rush me to the hospital so many times.I'm sorry if i made you worry at all,so many times.I'm sorry i vomited in your blouse.I'm sorry for not calling you more often from camp.I'm sorry for not knowing you better,the one person i should know by heart.I'm so sorry,for everything,though i never meant to do you wrong.Never.I will do you proud,i will.
8.All i remember of you are the Sarsi soft drinks i used to grab from the fridge.The rundown house i used to go whenever i am at your place.That smell of moist in the house,and somehow in your hair too the smell of age.To me you were merely that person with the money,with the cash.I know,that it is disrespectful,but i never knew.I never knew.But i appreciate you,only now.Only years too late.I appreciate how you brough her up,and in turn brought me up.Thank you,wherever you are.
9.How we've drifted apart,from the buddies we used to be to now,this.I understand the currents of life,how they always make things drift apart once they come together.They can never be the same,once we throw ourselves into this pool of life.You've met people,people of more interest in your life than perhaps the old friends you made,but i still remember the times we spent together,fooling around in school and just spending the times after school talking about lousy chinese,gay principals and bad eating habits.It's just bus stops,man.Like what our teacher told us before.We are just passengers at the bus stop,and when your ride comes you got to get on.You have to,because you know each of us,every one of us have to move on,to let go.We have our lives to lead,and you too.I have mine,and in that way we are always drifting apart.But i had you,and you had me.And under the sun,in those days,our vision turned purple even in the classroom,remember?Missed those days man,really.
10.There is nothing left to say,is there?I've blogged about it so many times,i am sick of myself for doing so already.Perhaps,that is the only reason why i have decided to quit you.But i wish i knew how to do that,to quit you.I am learning,i am still a newbie at this.I told you i will learn to get used to it,to be rejected,utterly rejected.I am still under your feet,cant you see,cant you feel?I dont know if i'd ever be able to get used to this nakedness that i am in right now,i feel like i am in the rain stark naked and you are at the end of the field with that guy,staring at me under the same umbrella.How i wish,that the world could read my blog entries,my songs and my poems,and tell me i was wrong about you,that i miscalculated,that i never saw the right side of you in me,and myself in you.How i wish somebody could just tell me that i was stupid,that i was foolish,that i was wrong.But i wasnt,i wasnt.I know,and i still stand by the fact that i knew,that it was all justified.But isnt it supposed to have no regrets,when things were justified?
Now,what am i talking about,really.Just gibberish.Oh look,tears again.I swore to myself,damn it why do you have to come back to me.Why do you have to return to me,to haunt me like you are doing now.Go away,go away.I thought i had things settled,all of your things,the sweetest storylines,all packed up and ready to leave?I thought we had set things straight,set things behind?Why are things coming back again?What the hell went wrong,why are we back in square one?Why am i the only one crying over this circle that we've made,this endless cycle that is going on?Dont leave me hanging,dont leave me a loose end.Tell me,tell me...come back to me.Break this circle,come back to me...
Dont leave me ninty-eight and six degrees of separation from you,because i survive for the breath you are finished with.Just dont leave me,alone here,it's cold.
That's all i have to say,about that.To you,number 10.Oh,number 10.Why do you hurt me so...
This entry was posted
on Sunday, April 09, 2006 at 12:45 AM.
You can skip to the end and leave a response.
