In Continuum.

Moments with Sarah

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I never figured out why Rachael Yamagata has a song on her album "Happenstance",that is a minute long with no vocals,just a simple cello playing.Im not sure if it was her playing or not,but still the title of the song "Moments with Oliver" just never really made any sense to me.The tune is beautiful,when i tried to tab out above.But before this week i never really figured out why,until i sort of realised it.

It's just a guess,the way you interpret certain meaning in stanzas.I see it as part of the song "Quiet" by her as well.It seems like the moments with Oliver,her moments with Oliver,seem to be speechless and quiet.No words,no sound,just a mood or feeling in the background,like the way the cello played softly in the song.No words could describe that feeling,that moment,just music and the notes that comes along with it.It's such a beautiful moment,it's such a saddening moment,it's such an emotional moment,everything poured in together.

Just simple moments of silence,just quiet between the both of us now,right now.Is it depressing,is it saddening?Does it remind you of anything?This moment,is it a happy moment,a nostalgic one,or a tormenting one?Beyond language and beyond words,is this how you describe the moments we have right now,speechless and wordless,through notes of a cello and the quiet between you and i?

I dont know,perhaps it is beyond me now.I never considered moments whereby i'd be out of words to actually describe it.I mean,you know how these moments seize you by the throat,strangles you by the heart,and squeezes the life out of you.You dont really know how to describe them,the words slip into gutters like dirt water.Just notes,plain notes,the way the convey so many different messages and emotions at once.

I still feel that you are reading this,or at least i hope you are,still.I still hope that at times when you are bored,or when you are hopefully thinking about that sort period of time,the way you completed me,you might drop by here for a visit check out on me,like how i check out on you,still.

You needed somebody,the other time in one of your posts.You needed somebody to talk to then,desperately it sounded and awfully depressing.You can imagine how hard it was,to be sitting in front of the computer,knowing that you are with yourself suffering away while i am here,reaching out only at the empty monitor screen.

I wanted to know what's wrong,if i could be of any help to you.But i cant,because we are so silent now.We are so quiet now.We are in this moment,this "Moment with Oliver",speechless and wordless moment,with our own cello playing in the background.Do we reach out over the notes,the sound and over the obstacles back to each other again?Or do we continue to watch each other,do i continue to watch you suffer alone,quiet and lonely?I cant help,i cant help but worry.But i am stuck,we are both stuck in this moment,this moment with you,this moment with Oliver...

Why go, I asked?
You know, and I know why
And it'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
I don't expect anything

Take care
I've been hurt before
Too much time spent on closing doors
You may hate me, but I'll remember to love you
Goodbye
Don't cry
You know why
And it'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
I don't expect anything

All the waves of blame arrange as broken scenery
As they steal your best memories away
What if I was someone different in your only history?
Would you feel the same
As I walk out the door
Never to see your face again