In Continuum.

X Marks the Spot

Welcome to lesson #190 ladies and gentlemen.Now,before you guys decide to enjoy a trouble-free day down at the beach with a couple of friends from work,school,or even with your family members,hitting a couple of volleyballs,throwing frisbees and perhaps have a nice cold cup of lemon tea under the palm tree,please take a minute and give your full attention to the rest of this lesson,for i assure you by the end of this briefing,you will learn something that is of utmost importance to your survival on the beach.

As you know,Singapore is merely a couple of degrees north of the Equator,which makes it a bloody hot country to be in if you happen to have ancestors from say,Greenland for example and you are used to wearing seal skin and covered with fur all over.Anyway,going to the beach is perhaps one of the many leisure activities you might decide to engage in on a nice sunny weekend,or perhaps a public holiday after your examinations,like my sister decided to do with her classmates.Now,before you head down to the beach in your nice swim wear,you should always take note of some of the things you have in that nice beacj bag of yours.

First,the important thing about sun screens and sun blocks.Well,actually they are really the same damn thing,it's just that they have different names for whatever reason.Anyway,you have to have that in your bag especially for the ladies.You dont want to head down to the beach looking like you walked out from a skin whitening advertisement on television,and walking out of the beach looking like Halle Berry at the end of the end.You dont want that to happen,trust me.

What are the consequences of NOT bringing sun screens or sun blocks to the beach you ask?Well,let's take a moment and check out this case study we have on my sister here.After a long day at the beacj involving volleyballs and frisbees,my sister came back home red all over.Part of the consequence of not bringing sun screens or sun blocks is of course,sun burn.Now,if you have sun burn,not only do you have to tolerate the pain and perhaps the redish look all over,you'd have to brace yourself for the comments and nicknames that will inevitably follow after your arrival back home.

"Prawn","Crab","Roasty",are just some of the nicknames you might get the moment you step into the house and meet your family.Of course,if one of them decide to give you a encouraging pat on the back,do remind them that you have sun burn and that by doing so you might slap that person back in the face due to natural reflexes.Also,do take note that when a person is coming towards you with an index finger stretched out,either run away from the scene or break that person's finger,because more than likely he or she is going to rub that tip of the finger on your red skin,and it is going to hurt like a burning match stick in your eyeball.

We come to next part of our lesson now.Tan lines,they can be sexy and cute if you have them in the right place and have the correct skin tone.We all know that tan lines depend on the wardrobe you decide to wear on that day.If you decide to wear a tube,then more than likely you are not going to get a tan line,simply because you'd get a pretty even out tanning on the upper part of your body.In contrary,if you decide to wear a t-shirt for example,you are not going get any of those as well because your body would be pretty much covered.

Do not,i repeat,do not wear tops with cross straps at the back,and head on down into the sun to try to soak it up.Because by doing so,by the end of the day you'd have a big ass X written across your back,and if somebody who has seen the movie "Saw",he or she might just take a little knife and jab it into the spot,since X marks the spot in the movie.Oh,and before i go on,add "X-Man" to the list of nicknames you are likely to get from friends and family.You cant blame them,because after all you are the one with the big X on the back.

The process of sun burn is quite simple.After a long day in the sun without sun screen,your skin will turn red at first,and it might burn and hurt really badly.You might want to apply some Aloe Vera,or have a brother at hand who loves to be in an air-conditioned room,with his hands as cold as ice to stand by.Anyway,after the reddening process,your skin will start to turn dark,and you will get your desired skin tone afterwards.But just as you are about to celebrate your newly acquired skin tone,you'd find that your skin is extremely dry and desperately in need of moisturizer.Those wouldnt work,because your skin is probably dead all over,and adding moisture to dead skin wouldnt exactly work.

Afterwards,you'd start to feel the itch.You start to scratch all over the place,and before you know you see white stuff coming out of your skin.No,those are not dirt from your table or under it,those are you skin coming off.You'd be considered fortunate if your skin peels on the back,but if you are having a serious case of sun burn on your face then good luck to you while you are walking on the street.You might want to get your hands on a mask,or simply a nice plastic bag for difficulty in recognition.

I hope that this lesson in sun burns and sun screens helped you in many unimaginable ways.Also,i hope this lesson benefited your day down at the beach with your friends,family,or maybe even yourself.Always remember,sun screens,Aloe Vera,and my sister as a case study.Thank you,and goodbye.