In Continuum.

Ball in the Balls

"...This is a song about being fucked up,but coming out of it you know?When you're a kid,and you get a tennis ball in the nuts.It's one of the worst feelings in the world but it's...all men will tell you there is no better feeling when it stops hurting..."

--- John Mayer

A little introduction John Mayer did to his song "In Repair",which i found was hilarious,and at the same time true altogether.I mean,especially after such an ordeal i had today in camp.I didnt have a tennis ball in my nuts,no.I didnt get a sledge hammer land on my right index hammer,hell no.I simply,as simple as it sounds,passed my SOC.I know,to some it might not be too big a deal,but i guess in a way i am just glad that one more hurdle is gone,that i am in the stage of my own repair,that feeling of a tennis ball in the nuts is slowly fading.

SOC(Standard Obstacle Course),is like the worst nightmare of every NS guy.Okay,maybe not all of them need to go through this screwed up aspect of army life,but at least myself alongside with a lot of people other there has to,because we have the balls to.So to y'all clerks out there,you can go gay with each other(Haha).

I didnt start out today's SOC course with much hope.First of all,it was late and i hadnt have my dinner yet.I mean,for some reason the SOC was pushed back all the way till 6pm,and my stomach was aching with this emptiness,i was hugging it during the conducting brief.Second of all,the 9 minutes and 30 seconds timing is a killer.Not even the sergeants can do it,really.I passed last year,but i wasnt at all sure if i could do it or not.It's bad enough that i am suffering from a serious case of the lack of self-esteem,but the fact that it challenges my physical and mental strength was...terrible.

So the test started,and i didnt think much about it.I dont remember thinking much,anyway.I remember running down the road,trying to concentrate on the breathing.I remember MO running a couple of metres ahead of the pack,but dropping back even before we reached the low wall(The sound he made as he fell back was hilarious).I remember going through the obstacles with a void in my head.I dont remember making up my mind to do a certain obstacle,or try to overcome it.OC was just beside me yelling something away,i think it was the timing,but those never really got into my head.I remember jumping down the low wall and landing in the mount of sand,with some of it in my mouth as i tried to spit them out.

Ah Geng was with me all the way,with Sgt. Eddie next to Egg,and at the same time giving support to me.I mean,Egg was merely paces ahead of me so he might as well do it i guess.The rest of the run back to the finish line was a blur.The 600 metres of run was a blank,really.I remember them yelling at me,telling me about the amount of time that i have left.With two minutes left at the turn i thought i lost it,but in a way i wasnt too depressed about it.I mean,it's not like the first time ive failed anyway.

100 metres away and OC shouted,"Actual timing,20 seconds!"

And i thought to myself,wait there is an actual timing?So you were lying to me this whole time?I wanted to chase after him and whack the bloody butt of the rifle down on his head,but at the same time i just wanted to complete the grueling course in one piece.Egg was before me,and at this point my mind was blank,just...empty.

I dont even remember crossing the finish line very clearly.I mean,there were shouts,there were cheers.There was somebody asking for the timing,and somebody grabbing the back of my shirt and pulling me up.My legs were sore,and i couldnt exactly feel them the way i used to.They were limp,and i collapsed to the side of the road,panting hysterically.

Yiu came up and was shouting "ORD LOH!",the way he does to people who passed.I still wasnt sure if i passed,but i didnt care.Not right then,at the rate my heart was beating at the way my head was throbbing,i really didnt care if i passed or not.I felt my arms,my legs,and they were there.No matter how numb they were,at least they were there i thought to myself.Sgt. Eddie confirmed that i passed,with 9 minutes and 27 seconds on the clock.I JUST bloody made it,and the pain in the balls was gone.

So there it is,one hurdle down and a lot more to go.But it is one hell of a hurdle to be left aside,i must say.So fuck you SOC and go me!

PS.I swear this freedom that i newly acquired has a detrimental effect on my brain.I am having that same headache right now,and it doesnt seem to be fading away any time soon.Zen(Yeah,that's his name)the Medic said that it is the oxygen(or lack thereof)doing the trick.But whatever it is,i am probably on the verge of dying,even hours after the SOC.But i am,right now,at this moment,dying with a smile on my face.Haha,how poetic.