In Continuum.

End of the Road

Tuesday morning was bad.Not really because of the fact that i only slept for four hours the previous night due to the Coldplay concert,but really because of the charity thing the army is forcing on us to do,and it was happening on that very Tuesday morning.But because of the fact that it lands on that fateful morning,i didnt have to take leave the previous night for the concert.Therefore,as i climbed out of bed that morning with my eyes still slammed shut,and that high pitched sound still going through my head,and slipped into my Coldplay tshirt,and got myself out of the house with my iPod on full blast.Without complains.

The trip up to Novena was horrendous.I mean,ive heard of stories,about travelling on buses and trains during peak hours.I heard my sister complain a gazillion times about how packed those carriages are,but truth to be told i never actually believed her.I mean,she's usually the one in the house complaining about,well,everything.Anyway,so i didnt believe her until that morning when i took my first peak hour train to Novena.And it was hell,but without the eternal flame burning around me,but rather the stench of old people,sweaty people,and just...people crowded around me like tuna fish stuffed in a can.I had "Fix You" playing in my head then,and i was desperately hoping that SOMEBODY would fix me,and get me out of that train.

The lady over the speakers did "Fix Me",however,when she announced the arrival of the next station.I stumbled out of the train literally,and the crowd rushed up the escalator while i searched for an oxygen tank and mask.

Met the guys at the control station,and made our way up to Ren Ci Hospital.Remember that monk you always see on charity shows,doing stupid stunts like putting himself in ice to make people sympathsize the patients,stuff like that?Well,that same guy set up this so-called "hospital" for these unfortunate people of our society,and the picture of him proudly shaking the hand of then-president Mr. Ong Ting Chong(Or,however you spell his name),hung in the middle of the room when we first entered.

It was air-conditioned,and a young monk recieved us at the door.He looked sort of like that gay guy back in BMTC,not that i am making any sort of relation.His name is Wesley,and he led us back to the bunks where the patients were staying and gave us a little tour.We were still rather oblivious as to what we were supposed to do that morning,and the fact that we had question marks all over our heads made the trip around the patients rather frightful.

I mean,seriously.If you were there you wouldve understood my feelings.The rooms smelled of medical supplies,stale bedsheets and piss.We entered C1 first,the ladies bunk.All around were old patients lying around,most of them staring into deep space and none watching the morning television.A couple of them were sleeping,the other in the corner of the bed shivering.One of them had both her legs ending in a abrupt stump,while the lady i had to push in a wheelchair(I think her name was Jenny)had a bag of piss hanging from the side her body.

We were supposed to help,but we wondered if the people even want to be disturbed or not.I mean,they seemed totally happy doing what they were doing,and what gives the people working at the hospital to dictate what they want to do each day?I understand that these people are sick,they have diseases and stuff.But that doesnt mean that they have to play rubber balls and throw them around in wheelchairs.I mean,they are not dumb or retarded,they are just physically sick.It doesnt have anything to do with mental retardation,so what's with the rubber balls?

Anyway,we were tasked to push a couple of them down to the hall where we first entered,and along the way we met other helpers pushing patients on trolleys into a room at the back.It was like a public bathroom of some kind,for the patients who apparently cannot bathe themselves.Strange enough,the so-called helpers were wearing rubber boots,rubber gloves,had a paper mask in their faces and a few minutes after they push the patients upon trolleys into the bathrooms,they start to scream and yell like they were being butchered or something.As much as the thought of it was funny,i thought it was rather cruel to treat these people like animals.They were patients,not retarded.Whatever happened to dignity.

The old folks couldnt speak any language in proper.We had a hard time communicating with them,telling them not to throw the ball too hard at each other.Ah Chang's first shot successfully landed the rubber ball right smack in the middle of a lady's face.Of course,that ball wasnt hard or anything,but still it showed how weak those people were.

Martin tried to help an old lady across parallel bars,to practise some walking.And her pants sort of fell off halfway through.None of us knew what to do,and the lady just stood there helpless,with her pants around her ankles and the giant adult diapers showing.It was embarrassing,but she didnt seem to care.None of the other ladies seemed to care,just us with our fingers in our hairs,wondering what to do next.

An old lady wheeled up to me,and she had no teeth at all.Her lips trembled whenever she stopped talking,and kept singing oldies with her broken vocal chords.She asked me if i would like to hear a joke,and being the supposed helper,i agreed to hear it.Her joke was,only yesterday when she was in her bed she forgot to put on her adult diapers,and she had crap everywhere in her pants and the bed.The nurse came,changed her pants,cleaned her sheets,powdered her butt and later,as a token of appreciation,she kissed the back of the nurse's hand,the end of joke.She kept laughing,and i was forced to laugh as well,though i didnt see the humor in that story.It saddened me,to see how these old people are looking upon themselves to come up with jokes like that.I mean,who in the right mind would make a joke out of themselves,pissing in their pants like that?

I left the place without feeling sad for the old folks,but more pity and this strange feeling of anger.I mean,just LOOK at those people.Wouldnt it be sad if you life winds up like them,in a hospital nobody remembers and a life nobody cares about?Sure there are the doctors and the nurses,and the friendly monks taking care of you,but ultimately you are the lesser of the society,the forgotten part of our community,and let's face it,if the government is cruel enough they will dispose you people lise trash any day.

It saddened me the most,that these people allow themselves to literally rot away like that.Sitting on their beds and wheelchairs,they stared into space as their mind slowly get eaten away with every passing minute.They vomit on their sheets and they dont care,and they have piles and piles of newspapers and magazines at hand which they dont read.If i am in that situation,i wouldnt allow myself to disintegrade like that.Grab a book,grab a newspaper,watch the news for Christ's sake,but dont just SIT there!

There's an old guy,from that same hospital as well,who distinguished himself out of the rest.He loved chess,and he played a game of it with Tech Meng at the table.He was rather good at it,and he eventually trashed Teck Meng.Now,he's a patient there too,and i dont see him allowing himself to rot away like the rest of the patients.He makes himself useful,he makes use of his brain,however little that is left of it.He takes pride in what he does,and we all saw it as he checked Teck Meng after just ten minutes of play.Seriously,if there is a patient most worthy of saving,it would be him.

The rest of the hospital was just a painting of despair.You could smell death everywhere,just lingering around the corner waiting for somebody's heart to fail.It wouldnt be long,till somebody dies in their bed,the bed they spent so much time in,even doing their businesses.It pissed me off,to see how people allowed themselves to be lowered till such a low level and not do something about it.It pissed me off,it truly did.