Samuel
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Samuel
My dear Samuel,or Samwise Gamgee if you prefer to call yourself,i guess on my journey of life together,you have been playing that role for me,since i have always seen myself as Frodo Baggins for some reasons,identifying myself with him,everytime he succumbs to temptations,or gives up to the force of the ring.I did not relate to him because of his weaknesses,but rather his strength at the very end,when he took control of his temptations and desires.And Samuel was,in a way,my Samwise Gamgee.
Samuel has been a friend of mine ever since Secondary One.He was a dark and plump boy i remember,blending in with the shadows of the back of the classroom,and always minding his own business,while trying desperately to stay out of the limelight.Especially,when the search lights hovers over the heads of the next 'prey',because the last one called up his parents and the teachers complained.He stayed low,and because of that we got close to each other.
Samuel was/is the kind of friend,who belongs to everybody.He doesnt have an opinion as to,who he should befriend with and who he should stay away from.He treats everybody the same,and never holds grudges.And because of that,he was in the middle of it all,when YiXiang was being locked in the cupboard,when Anthony Mo threatened him with the dead bumble bee,when Jared's bag of rotten buns were being stepped on,and when Daniel was being laughed at.He was in the middle of it all,watching and listening,all because he is/was Mr. Nice Guy.
Himself,Krishna and I were the gang in the class.Or rather,we were A gang,and we banded together with Ben from the other class,to form the Sun Tanning club.We used to talk about a whole lot of things under the sun,as we laid on our bags and let the sun light blind our eyes till everything turns into a strange sci-fi shade of purple.I remember us discussing about girls,when Krishna was still with his current ex girlfriend.Everybody thought him to be the expert in relationships,since he already had two back then,and i was the prodigy,the one with the potentials,the apprentice.Samuel,on the other hand,though we never mentioned it,he was the one who was always out of the female-related conversations.Not because he was left out,but because he never was somebody whom we related to members of the opposite sex.That is to say,relationships with females other than his relatives were strictly out of the question.
Which brings me,to the topic of this entry.Today i went out with him and his girlfriend Hannah,to catch The Prestige at Marina Square(Why the hell at Marina Square?).I've met Hannah before,she is a nice girl next door.Not exactly the kind of girl next door you would expect,but she is very HDB-ish,and a sight of her and you'd know that she's Singaporean.She's not hot or anything,not the type who would attract your attention because she has the curves and the shapes,all that jazz.But she's just genuinely nice,and i guess that was what attracted Samuel to her,instead of common beliefs that he was obssessed with her ass.
I was alone in the McDonald's this afternoon,reading a book when he tapped on my shoulder.They were hand in hand,smiling and waving at me.I remembered then,why i never had a doubt about this particular couple.Out of jealousy or not,i've always had my opinions about certain couples in my social circle.When this person and that comes together,i think to myself the probability of them breaking up,and the time span of it.I know,it is evil for doing so,and it is disgusting to do so.But i dont do that anymore,though they work like 90% of the time.Samuel and Hannah,suits each other.You can tell,because they remind me of my own parents.Samuel,from the day i've known him,he has never been the kind of guy who is good with words.You shouldnt depend on him to write a love letter of any sorts,because he is not going to get you anywhere close to the vicinity of the girl you desire.But the magic is this: Hannah is like my mother.She doesnt give a shit about Samuel being,inarticulate,a little slow,and perhaps innocent at things.She likes him for who he is,and i think that is the greatest magic between the two.
And there they were,hand in hand in front of me,sharing a cup double chocolate frapp.The Samuel i knew,Samwise Gamgee,the dark fat boy sitting in the corner of the class,the one left out of the girls talk,is now the man of a woman he obviously loves,and here we are,the other two in the gang,one's in Australia enjoying his life in University,while i am still here.Very much here,i guess.
133 was full again,and unlike last week i didnt find a seat.I stood all the way home from Esplanade,and the smell of the air-conditioning filling up my nostrils.I hate that smell,that artificial smell,that plastic smell.But at least it was better than the sweat of the rest of the passengers,the sweat stained armpits and the heat brought along into the bus as they crowded through the folding doors.I waved to Hai Chuan,and he was with his girlfriend,sending her home.They were in the corner,standing with me while i stood right next to them.The couple before us had their arms through each others',with the girl's head on the guy's shoulder,breathing in the smell of his hair,a smile lingering on the edge of her lips.HaiChuan had his forehead against his girlfriend's,whispering under the thundering sound of the engine.He was smiling and,he carassed her right arm slowly up and down,still whispering,still smiling.
It was a beautiful sight,in a way.Not because,the couples were attractive or beautiful,or was the scene in the crowded bus in any way,artsy or poetic.But i guess the sight of two people,building rosy fences around themselves wherever they are,and just enjoying the company of each other.In the bus,at the bus stop,or in Carl's Junior where i had dinner with Samuel and Hannah.Anywhere,i see it happening,and the bond between two people,i realised,is much more than a feeling that is sustained from the very beginning of a relationship.What troubles me now,is that i cannot tell you how else it is sustained by.How two people can go on living with each other seamlessly,how their finger gaps will always be filled by the fingers of their partners,and it will always feel warm and never cold.I cannot tell you that,i do not have the answers.I am seldom stumped,but i guess this is one of those rare occasions.
The roles have changed,and now i am the guy left in the shadows.Samuel,i respect you for being with Hannah for this long.You guys survived the ultimate test of faith: National Service.Not a lot of relationships can survive that,and it is about four months left till it all ends,Sam.Hang in there,and i see you guys down the aisle in the future,i am sure.Best of luck,Samwise.
My dear Samuel,or Samwise Gamgee if you prefer to call yourself,i guess on my journey of life together,you have been playing that role for me,since i have always seen myself as Frodo Baggins for some reasons,identifying myself with him,everytime he succumbs to temptations,or gives up to the force of the ring.I did not relate to him because of his weaknesses,but rather his strength at the very end,when he took control of his temptations and desires.And Samuel was,in a way,my Samwise Gamgee.
Samuel has been a friend of mine ever since Secondary One.He was a dark and plump boy i remember,blending in with the shadows of the back of the classroom,and always minding his own business,while trying desperately to stay out of the limelight.Especially,when the search lights hovers over the heads of the next 'prey',because the last one called up his parents and the teachers complained.He stayed low,and because of that we got close to each other.
Samuel was/is the kind of friend,who belongs to everybody.He doesnt have an opinion as to,who he should befriend with and who he should stay away from.He treats everybody the same,and never holds grudges.And because of that,he was in the middle of it all,when YiXiang was being locked in the cupboard,when Anthony Mo threatened him with the dead bumble bee,when Jared's bag of rotten buns were being stepped on,and when Daniel was being laughed at.He was in the middle of it all,watching and listening,all because he is/was Mr. Nice Guy.
Himself,Krishna and I were the gang in the class.Or rather,we were A gang,and we banded together with Ben from the other class,to form the Sun Tanning club.We used to talk about a whole lot of things under the sun,as we laid on our bags and let the sun light blind our eyes till everything turns into a strange sci-fi shade of purple.I remember us discussing about girls,when Krishna was still with his current ex girlfriend.Everybody thought him to be the expert in relationships,since he already had two back then,and i was the prodigy,the one with the potentials,the apprentice.Samuel,on the other hand,though we never mentioned it,he was the one who was always out of the female-related conversations.Not because he was left out,but because he never was somebody whom we related to members of the opposite sex.That is to say,relationships with females other than his relatives were strictly out of the question.
Which brings me,to the topic of this entry.Today i went out with him and his girlfriend Hannah,to catch The Prestige at Marina Square(Why the hell at Marina Square?).I've met Hannah before,she is a nice girl next door.Not exactly the kind of girl next door you would expect,but she is very HDB-ish,and a sight of her and you'd know that she's Singaporean.She's not hot or anything,not the type who would attract your attention because she has the curves and the shapes,all that jazz.But she's just genuinely nice,and i guess that was what attracted Samuel to her,instead of common beliefs that he was obssessed with her ass.
I was alone in the McDonald's this afternoon,reading a book when he tapped on my shoulder.They were hand in hand,smiling and waving at me.I remembered then,why i never had a doubt about this particular couple.Out of jealousy or not,i've always had my opinions about certain couples in my social circle.When this person and that comes together,i think to myself the probability of them breaking up,and the time span of it.I know,it is evil for doing so,and it is disgusting to do so.But i dont do that anymore,though they work like 90% of the time.Samuel and Hannah,suits each other.You can tell,because they remind me of my own parents.Samuel,from the day i've known him,he has never been the kind of guy who is good with words.You shouldnt depend on him to write a love letter of any sorts,because he is not going to get you anywhere close to the vicinity of the girl you desire.But the magic is this: Hannah is like my mother.She doesnt give a shit about Samuel being,inarticulate,a little slow,and perhaps innocent at things.She likes him for who he is,and i think that is the greatest magic between the two.
And there they were,hand in hand in front of me,sharing a cup double chocolate frapp.The Samuel i knew,Samwise Gamgee,the dark fat boy sitting in the corner of the class,the one left out of the girls talk,is now the man of a woman he obviously loves,and here we are,the other two in the gang,one's in Australia enjoying his life in University,while i am still here.Very much here,i guess.
133 was full again,and unlike last week i didnt find a seat.I stood all the way home from Esplanade,and the smell of the air-conditioning filling up my nostrils.I hate that smell,that artificial smell,that plastic smell.But at least it was better than the sweat of the rest of the passengers,the sweat stained armpits and the heat brought along into the bus as they crowded through the folding doors.I waved to Hai Chuan,and he was with his girlfriend,sending her home.They were in the corner,standing with me while i stood right next to them.The couple before us had their arms through each others',with the girl's head on the guy's shoulder,breathing in the smell of his hair,a smile lingering on the edge of her lips.HaiChuan had his forehead against his girlfriend's,whispering under the thundering sound of the engine.He was smiling and,he carassed her right arm slowly up and down,still whispering,still smiling.
It was a beautiful sight,in a way.Not because,the couples were attractive or beautiful,or was the scene in the crowded bus in any way,artsy or poetic.But i guess the sight of two people,building rosy fences around themselves wherever they are,and just enjoying the company of each other.In the bus,at the bus stop,or in Carl's Junior where i had dinner with Samuel and Hannah.Anywhere,i see it happening,and the bond between two people,i realised,is much more than a feeling that is sustained from the very beginning of a relationship.What troubles me now,is that i cannot tell you how else it is sustained by.How two people can go on living with each other seamlessly,how their finger gaps will always be filled by the fingers of their partners,and it will always feel warm and never cold.I cannot tell you that,i do not have the answers.I am seldom stumped,but i guess this is one of those rare occasions.
The roles have changed,and now i am the guy left in the shadows.Samuel,i respect you for being with Hannah for this long.You guys survived the ultimate test of faith: National Service.Not a lot of relationships can survive that,and it is about four months left till it all ends,Sam.Hang in there,and i see you guys down the aisle in the future,i am sure.Best of luck,Samwise.
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