In Continuum.

Tracing Tracks

I was standing on the exact same spot 364 days ago.It was my first time out of the country after i was enlisted two years ago.It felt good,to be at the airport: The gates to the rest of the world.So you can imagine how excited i was with the red passport in my bag,the coffee bean ice-blend in one hand,and a heart full of longing.Longing for freedom - even if it was for a mere week,longing for the food back home,longing for the familiar smell of my childhood.I still have the picture in my computer,of my back facing the camera,standing on the carpet at the end of the movable walkway with the orchid pattern.I was there today,with a totally different longing altogether.

First and foremost,greetings to all from Taiwan.The temperature seems to be just right for me,though my aunt seems to be complaining as i type about the amount of fabric i have on my body.But anyway,the dog is standing on its hind legs,swinging a pink pillow in its mouth and being ignored by every human in the house.I am home,i thought to myself,no matter how much i think it's an obligation to come back to Taiwan.I am home,and that's all that matters.

The road to the airport was a stormy one - literally.The cab driver was casual about it,speeding down the expressway and between cars while whistling a random tune.I wonder if this storm is going to last like the last one,flooding the rest of the country like the last one did.It's not like it matters to me directly,since i was already on my way out of the country.But i had a rock on my heart,the weigh making an imaginary depression somewhere in my chest,sucking the life out of me as the sound of the rain roared through the glass doors of the departure hall.

I love the feeling of traveling alone,to do what you will,as you will.Going to the toilet without the need of informing anybody.And the airport is a brilliant place to just wander aimlessly sometimes,because the starting point of an adventure is always both scary and exciting in the most mysterious way.Sure,i've been back to Taiwan for a dozen times,but every time seems like the last time,the novelty never wears away.

At the viewing gallery i sat alone,as the NFL match between New York Jets and the Miami Dolphins went on on the other side of the globe.The words i read in the black envelope resonating through my head,overwhelming the commentary of the football match.I smiled like an idiot before other fellow visitors of the airport,ignoring the possibility of them calling airport security.Because i've been doing so for the past twelve hours or so,at the mere though of the black mail and the content...I smiled,because within that envelope is a lovely surprise,literally.

I saw as the rain fel against the giant windows at the viewing gallery,the splatter of the rain with occasional thunders hinting the peak of the December rainy period.It was beautiful there,just waiting for time to past with music in my ears,saying goodbye to my friends over SMSs.My first real trip alone out of the country as a free man,especially special after the 9th of December.I traced my footsteps from the last time i walked the carpets of the airport as a free man all the way to the ones i was making then.I've come a long way,i thought.And that gave me more reasons to smile like an idiot.

On the plane,ten minutes before take off.The rain continued to fall,the flight was delayed for half an hour or so.It was strange,to be traveling as a free man,alone on the airplane,away from anybody i know with a promising holiday ahead of me,and feel at the same time,weird.Unlike a year before,there is a different sort of longing now.The longing to dash out of the airplane and take bus 53 back to the nearest warmth in the rain,back to you.But nonetheless,i am going to enjoy myself here with the letter in my bag.Because i know,with a bit of you with me on the way,i can feel so much better,so safe.

So at the end of this trip,dont you worry at all.I am going to trace my tracks,all the way back you all 7000 miles away.