In Continuum.

Forbidden

ZaoYi tackled me with a tricky question just a few nights ago, and being the passionate blogger about current affairs as he is, the question came with quite a bit of tension and anger. It was a question about homosexuality, probably a question we have discussed in our everyday lives a dozen times. However, he was arguing against the fact that people are pushing for homosexuality to go mainstream in our society. Come to think about it, homosexuality has been a question in my head, one that never really reached the pages of my blog fully. It did however, appear in a dozen different short stories that I attempted over the years, a topic that I grazed over in the context of a story but never in my own words. Which is why when ZaoYi asked me about my opinion about homosexuality going mainstream, I thought it made a good entry - so here it is.

Homosexuality is almost like the feminism movement, when women would go onto the streets and protest equal rights next to their male counterparts. Homosexuality has gone from a secret murmured underground to one that is pretty much universally known, and a widely accepted idea. What was once condemned and seen as a shameful act, is now an acceptable act as long as they remain within the bounds of the country's laws. Of course, there are still laws against homosexual marriages in many countries, including religious laws as well. However, compared to a hundred years ago, there has been an advancement in the amount of acceptance of the gay community, as well as the general understanding of this part of our human population as being normal, as being something natural - though it does depend very much on circumstances.

In recent years, homosexuality has become the pride and joy of various medias. Fifty years ago however, the theme was pretty much a taboo topic anywhere. As recent as the early 90s, it was still pretty much a topic seldom spoken of by people, though widely regarded as being normal. It was not until the film 'Philadelphia' starring Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington was released, was the issue of homosexuality fully accepted by the public. Before then - as portrayed in the film - AIDS was pretty much associated with homosexuality, and a disease believed to be attached to these people and no other. The film earned Tom Hanks an Oscar for Best Actor in a Leading Role, and placed the theme of homosexuality into the spotlight of Hollywood.

Over the years, the emphasis on that topic has greatly increased. Films like Boys Don't Cry and American Beauty featured gay characters dealing with acceptance and their own sexuality as well. Not to forget Brokeback Mountain, which literally made the word 'Brokeback' a word to describe gays. These movies made us understand the lives and the mentality of homosexuals, and many of them helped the viewers to know what is true and what isn't about them. However, the question still remains at hand about whether or not homosexuality should be recognized in a country, whether or not we should treat them like any other couples on the streets. Despite the media exposure, I don't suppose a question like that is going to be answered anytime soon. After all, we are slowly moving towards a more open-minded society, but not as fast as embracing homosexuality fully, just yet.

I remember the time in school when girls started to dress up like boys, and had their long hair chopped off till they were even shorter than my own. It was the period of time halfway through my secondary school, and the bus along the road that led to the neighboring girl school would be filled with these girls - or rather 'butches' as the term was later coined. They almost always had a bunch of girl friends hanging around them, and the only guys in their gangs were usually the ones who were weaker, shyer, and more reserved. They dominated much of the social circle even after I made my way into Junior College, and the male population of the school wasn't too fond of them at all. It was always easy to point out who was lesbian and who was not, and they were the kind of figures in school that gained much popularity because of their appearances and mannerisms.

It seems to me in the past, that growing up in a single-sex environment caused them to be more susceptible to turning into a homosexual. There was a talk by an ex-homosexual, who talked about the book that he wrote on the subject. He divided the homosexual community into three categories. One kind of them is genetically born to be the way they are, and not a choice made by them halfway through their puberty. Another kind of homosexual is the kind that starts out as being straight, but because of certain circumstances such as the single-sex school environment I mentioned, results in the changing in their sexual orientation. The third and last kind is the most ridiculous of all, when homosexuality is seen as being a 'cool' and 'in' thing to do, and thus people convert their sexuality almost as readily they switch the channel of a television program. But whatever the reason may be, we cannot deny the existence of these individuals in our society.

There are times when I wonder myself, how it'd be like to sit down one day and tell myself," Am I gay?". The truth is, I am never going to find out because I am as straight as straight men can be. I guess deep inside, I just love women too much to forsake them for men. However, there are times when I'd like to ask my gay friends, how it is like to know that you have turned gay, one fine morning? It doesn't happen overnight I am certain, it's not as if we have a checklist before our eyes to pick whether or not we want to be a straight person or a gay one. Nobody wants to be in the minority group I am sure, or unless you are one of those people who are against conformity - which is in turn conforming, if you think about it.

As ZaoYi pointed out in the conversation, there seems to be a growing urge from the gay community to push the mentality into the mainstream ideology, and I was asked if I agree with this movement at all. To me, I don't think there is a need to have our children think that homosexuality is right, or if it is wrong at all. As much as there shouldn't be a lesson in school to tell young students that homosexuality is wrong, there shouldn't be a lesson in school to tell them that it is right either. Personally, my parents never had any talks with me regarding my own sexuality. They never sat me down on their laps before, and asked me if I liked Ken more or Barbie. I just sort of found my way around to the girls, and the environment that I grew up in for four years wasn't even enough to make me think otherwise - though I did suspect my parents to think that of me for a period of time.

That is not the case however, for the ladies. I remember the online conversation that I had with a friend online, and she was telling me about her sexuality. Coming from a single sex school, it was not difficult to stray from your usual orientation. For some reason, it seemed difficult for girls in their teenage years to draw the line between 'respect' and 'liking' for their seniors. In the case of a boys' school, having a senior in the national team of basketball was a respectable thing, and the teammates would all look up to him as a sort of role model. In girls' school however, things usually go a step further, and they treat the seniors' friendliness as a form of loving gesture, sometimes. As the hormones bounced around, it was easy to get confused and mangled up within yourself.

I never had such a problem at all, even after two full years of seeing my male friends' bare butts in the showers, and the load of them running around naked all the time in camp. It was a common sight for me, and the load of us grew used to it overtime. I doubt if anybody in there became a homosexual after their two years of service to the country, and I certainly hope that nobody did. It'd be quite a sticky issue for Mindef to deal with, if his parents were to complain that the country's national service caused their son to fall for boys instead of girls instead. Anyway, I've never had a problem with homosexuals, just as long as they remain a certain distance away from my comfort zone. My father however, had an awkward experience when he shook the hand of one of his clients after a business talk, and the palm of his hand was touched briefly by a tickling index finger. It was a sure sign of a man being interested in the other, and my father sure wasn't pleased with that encounter as he later told the family about it.

I guess no matter the reason may be - whether or not it was due to genetic reasons or circumstances - there is a point whereby enough is enough, and that certain acts just shouldn't be allowed at all. It's as good as a person confessing to his fetish for certain objects, really. To say that you prefer guys when you are a guy, and to say that you like girls when you are a girl, is as good as telling others whether you prefer oranges or apples. However, I hate it when you are a homosexual, and you brave against the world as if everybody is against you. It is almost like how some people in the black community would think that the whites are always against them, always trying to oppress them, when in truth they are merely being paranoid and are acting in exaggeration. Gay pride parades happen around the world all the time, and I hate to see a gay come out of the crowd to say just how good it feels to emerge from the dark.

I mean, there is nothing wrong with proclaiming your sexuality, but there are times when they just seem like they are trying too hard to be different, trying too hard to prove themselves. It's just like how you would feel when the underdog wins a race at some competition, and he goes on and on about how far he has come and how much sacrifices he made. Not to forget, you probably felt the same way when Halle Berry went on and on about how great it was to win an Academy Award, despite all the cynicisms in the critics. It is inspirational at first, but it just gets tired and boring after a while.

I recall an entry I typed a few months ago, an entry I was inspired to type after I saw the careless kiss given by a girl in my estate to another, just as she was about to send her off in a cab. She was an Indian girl, and her partner was a typical butch-type sort of girl. She kissed her on the lips as she sent her off near the guard house at my place, and I remember thinking to myself just how infuriated her family is going to be, since Indian families - or rather Asian families - are usually more conservative in nature than the Western ones. The way I viewed them was not with disgust or with condemn, but as a person looking at another couple, saying goodbye. It was perfectly fine - to me - what they did, at least they did not come up to me with banners and flags, screaming," We are lesbians and we are proud of it!"

As much as it is a forbidden act to marry a member of the same sex, or have a same-sex couple adopt a child in Singapore, I feel that we should remain in status quo for now. I don't think the world is ready for such a form of revolution just yet.