December Morning
Tuesday, December 02, 2008December Morning
Generally, I am not a fan of waking up in the morning. I suppose it has everything to do with the morning traffic, the morning classes, the morning blues, and everything else that has to do with the morning. I haven't had a truly satisfying breakfast ever since my trip to Thailand earlier this year. That omelet was heaven, to say the least. Anyway, I am not a fan of waking up this early in the morning for the above reasons, though I must say that waking up voluntarily at this hour is quite interesting. I have blogged several times in the past, and it involves me waking up at odd hours of the morning every once in a while. It comes and goes, it happens for a period of time and then it goes away, like menstruation and without the mess. I suppose I could use this time to study, or to study, or to study some more. Still, this semester has been draining on me, the way it has been sucking the life right out of me like a ruthless vacuum cleaner on a killing spree. All the assignments and all the projects bore down on me like a train, and I am the poor construction worker forced to lay down the tracks before it is too late. I am going to die, I am thinking to myself, I am going to be turned into an omelet on this railway track. Damn, that omelet tasted so damn good.
So yes, the holiday mood is upon me, even though I have self-declared myself as being an Asian Grinch same time last year. I remember what happened then, when Christmas was around the corner and I was all the way in Taiwan, having nothing to do. It was a good feeling, to be away from the bustling crowds in the shopping malls, and all those people attending Christmas parties just for the sake of doing so. It all seems such a long time ago, all my negativity in regards to this festive season. I still dislike festive seasons, but I do welcome the break. I am not a fan of Christmas, but the presents and the holiday is pretty nice I must say. That is not to mention the movies that they show on Christmases, they are usually repeats (Home Alone, anyone?) or just really old movies from a thousand years ago. The worst part is that they don't even plan truly great Christmas movies, like It's a Wonderful Life or something. There are a dozen different other reasons why I hate Christmas, and I suppose you could find them in my blog entries from a year ago. For now, I just want that well-deserved break of mine, and the same applies for all my friends from school. I think we all deserve a break, and a breather that hopefully lasts us through the cold winter month of December.
Yeah, we can all feel it getting just a tad bit colder, but the glare of the sunlight bouncing off the neighboring buildings speaks otherwise. It seems to be yet another day that stands upon the brink of a storm, always teasing us with the idea of the coming rain and never getting us there into its cold embrace. It's frustrating, you know, when the clouds hang low and the winds blow strong. You know how Decembers are in Singapore, the cold wet roads and the bent trees, the melodious tapping along the window sills and the midnight rains. That is as far as winter in Singapore goes, and yet I see no signs of it this year, whatsoever. I hear the coming of a storm, but it is like a war horn being blown for seconds before being silenced by enemy arrows. Everything is temporary these days, at least the good things pass by so fast. I fear for this coming holiday to go by too soon, and at the same time if it would crawl by too slow. It'd be like house arrest, the way that I have nowhere to go in this month and a half long nothingness. I haven't got overseas trips planned, or people to meet, or things to do for the most part. It is just me, and the world, and everything else in between happening arbitrarily. I need to go to someplace far, someplace cold. Maybe Iceland, even though it's broke.
I'd like to live in Alaska, or Sweden, or anywhere that has longer nights and shorter days. I think the day is over-rated, though the sun does give life to many things on Earth. But we really don't need that much, at least I don't need that much. I want to wake up at noon one day and have the city covered in shadows, or have lunch in the dark or something like that. That'd be really nice, which is also why I like freak storms in the day - they turn it into complete darkness. It is as if the night has overpowered the day in the North and the South, the underdog winning out and the dark horse finishing first. I like the idea of that, though I must admit that I have no idea where this entry is leading me to. The exhaustion is beginning to set in, I am afraid, bringing me away from complete sentences and rational writing. I feel like a leaf towed along by the ocean current, slowly and gradually out into the open sea of my own random thoughts. There are some entries with a lot of structures, you know, point number one followed by point number two, followed by point number three. Serious social issues, political views, religious thoughts, movie reviews, and whatnot. Then there are times when I want to allow my fingers to take me, away and away, into realms unexplored and mysterious.
Speaking of those realms of mine, I have been plagued by dreams as of late, some of which I cannot explain. I hate dreams that deal with exams, the way that you have to sit through papers in your head, only to wake up to an actual one later on in school. I have sat through my philosophy class in my head, and a random piano lesson with a quiz at the end which I wasn't able to answer properly. It is like what the character said in Waking Life, when he mentioned something about working in your dreams. It is bad enough that they hire you for minimum wage in life, now they get you work in dreams for free. That is kind of how it is, and it sucks to feel stupid while you are dreaming at night, and those few seconds between your dream and your wakeful state. Then there was that dream yesterday, when I dreamed that my teeth were falling out - again. You remember when you were young, just before your teeth fell out, you couldn't stop tonguing them in your mouth because it's weird to have something hanging loose in there. Then one day it just comes off because you've been tonguing it too much, and that is exactly what happened in my dream. I tongued a loose tooth, and then everything else went with it and out of my mouth. I remember talking with a wheezing sound in my voice, and everything felt so very real.
Last night, I dreamed that I was a graphic designer, working for an advertising firm. I blame that on Jan, and all the extra assignments that we have been asked to do and redo. Anyway, it was my first day at the company, and it was a very weird company indeed. It had three rooms, and they were all very cluttered and narrow. One room was where the office cubicles were, another was where all the designing work happened, and the last one was like a storeroom where the employees kept past artwork in huge metal shelves that rose up into the ceiling. I was being shown around, and I asked them why the arrangement of the furniture were so strange, and they said something about how it works better with a certain system that they were engaged in - yeah, I know. It's quite out there. Anyway, I was given the first task in the working room to design a magazine, or something like that. All I had to do was to paste the pages on the pillars and then pull unwanted words out of the page with my bare hands and then putting the pictures I want into the frames. That is what I did for the whole day, completely free, and it was rather boring to say the least. I worked the whole night while I was dreaming, beat that.
I suppose after this entry, I am going to crash back into bed and then launch myself into another series of strange hallucinations. Oh, the adventures and the possibilities, the mysterious and the opportunities. I love the limitless nature of dreams, the places that it takes you and what you can do while being immersed inside. After this entry, I am probably going to yawn, and then groan as I stretch myself on the chair like a lazy cat. Then I will crash onto my bed and regret that I woke up in the first place, something I don't do very often. But it is December, and December makes you do strange things. It's the last month of the year, it's got to be worth celebrating somehow. I mean, if people celebrate on the last day of the year, shouldn't we have some form of celebrating on the last month of the year? It'd only make sense, with our obsession with the first and last of everything. But then again, we never cheer for the last runner up, we never cheer for the loser in a basketball game. I think we should have an anthem for people like that, people who try and try and try. December has been trying ever since December was created, always trying to be first but always ending up in the last place. I say, cheers to December, and cheers to December mornings!
Yawn, alright. That's my cue to leave. Good morning world, and greetings dreamland.
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on Tuesday, December 02, 2008 at 7:55 AM.
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