In Continuum.

You know, before Wednesday, I liked Joaquin Phoenix. I think he is a fine actor in his own rights, and I think he can hold his own very well on the silver screen. I enjoy several of his movies, everything from Gladiator to Hotel Rwanda, even films like The Village and Signs. I think he is a good actor on his way to becoming a great actor. I mean, he already has two Oscar nominations under his belt, and it isn't difficult for you to see the potential behind his every facial expression when he is trying to get into the roles. You know how dedicated he is to his work just by watching his movies and reading the interviews. He is the kind of actor that remains in character for long periods of time even after the director has yelled cut on the set, because he just becomes that involved in his craft. That was also why I was shocked to learn that he decided to quit acting a couple of months back, because I've always thought him to be a good actor who's going somewhere, you know. They say that the best time to quit a career is at its peak, because you go out with a bang. People will remember you at the point in your career when you were doing everything right. Michael Jordan really should have stayed out of NBA when he left Chicago Bulls. Noticed how quiet everything was when he left the Washington Wizards? I rest my case. 

So anyway, somebody probably told him about that idea, which was why he decided that it'd be wise to quit his career - that much I have heard. A lot of celebrities have gave up their day job, or what they are usually famous for, to pursue another career that they are not so famous for. Some of them open restaurants, some of them become movie directors (Ron Howard, for example), and some of them become singers. When I heard about Joaquin Phoenix quitting the movie business, I heard about him quitting the business and nothing else. I didn't know which path he chose afterwards, and heard nothing about his next career move until Wednesday when I was enlightened by a friend of mine, who probably keeps himself up to date to stuff like that over the internet. So apparently, Joaquin Phoenix has turned to the music business after quitting his career as an actor. Yes, that same guy that acted as the evil king in Gladiator, the fearless fireman in Ladder 49, is also going to be churning out an album sometime in the near future. Not only that, though, he is going to become a rapper. You heard me right doug, he is going to be in the leagues of Eminem, Jay-Z, and Dr. Dre to become a rapper as well. Something tells me that he is only going to fall flat like our dear friend, K-Fed. 

But, that was before I even bothered to look for videos of him rapping on the internet. I mean, this is the age of the internet, anything appears on the internet. I'm pretty sure that by now, he has already performed in some public gigs, and somebody must have recorded the whole thing down onto their cellphones. So I did a little search on Google, and it wasn't difficult for me to stumble upon a few. Let's just say that it doesn't take a fan of rap to know that he tanked in that video. It really doesn't matter if the video was blurry, or that the audio was unclear, or that the person who filmed the performance was shaking most of the time. He was probably trembling in laughter, because it was just so amusing and uncomfortable to watch all at the same time. He sucked on stage, and he looked more like a zombie bear up there than anything else. If you can picture how a zombie bear would look like, that is exactly how he was like up there, prancing about and doing his thang, keepin' it real. You can't help but wonder what caused him to turn to the dark side of show business, what ticked in his head that day that told him that he wanted to be a rapper - a rapper! Probably one too many M. Night Shyamalan movie, this is the greatest plot twist of all. Nonetheless, what in the world was he thinking?

He isn't the first Hollywood actor that gave up their day jobs to pursue their own passions though. I was just reading a list on King-Mac.com the other day about the top ten worst celebrity albums of all time. The article began by saying that you should forget about sex tapes if you want to make a fool out of yourself, cut an album instead. Then it went on to list a bunch of celebrities that moved on from the jobs that they are good at, to making albums that sound worse than a remix of baby farts and breaking glass. We have Bruce Willis forming the band called The Return of Bruno, Steven Seagal with the Mojo Priest, Naomi Campbell, David Hasselhoff, and Jada Pinkett Smith. Wait, Jada Pinkett Smith? Will Smith's wife? Yeah, Jada Pickett Smith is a singer, but not just any singer. She is the lead singer of a band called Wicked Wisdom, a heavy metal band - I shit you not. I think I "shat bricks" when I heard this piece of news over the internet. I was disturbed and, admittedly, curious at the same time, which was why I went to YouTube to search for their videos. And, I'm not a fan of the genre as a whole, but let's just say that the Wicked Wisdom is probably anything but wisdom at all. It was probably the worst thing I heard in a while, and I have Jonas Brothers in mind when I typed that last sentence. 

I cannot imagine what compelled these people to pursue a career they obviously suck in. I mean, we should always encourage people to pursue their dreams, to do what others dare not, and that is especially so when you are already a celebrity and has nothing to lose. Yet, once in a while, you have people like Joaquin Phoenix popping out of nowhere and wanting to be a rapper. What was it like anyway, to wake up one day and know that you want to be a rapper, or the lead singer of a metal band, despite being a fairly decent actor to begin with. It must suck quite a bit to be Will Smith, you know, to have to support whatever his wife decides to do and yet, can't help but laugh about it. Do these people actually want us to take them seriously? I feel really sad for these people when they are on the stage, prancing around and singing when they are obviously trying way too hard to do whatever it is that they are doing. It is almost as if someone forced them out of their normal careers to do it. But of course, choices like that are usually conscious decisions made by themselves, and no one in the right mind would suggest to these people to change a career when they are obviously doing well in their own. They say that an artist need to venture out into the unknown every once in a while to get inspirations. Well, that holds true, until you start to suck in the unknown. 

I think it's really sad, because so many have ventured down this road and failed miserably. Bruce Willis at least had the common sense to turn back and go back to the movies, which he is doing fairly well I'd say. Steven Seagal kinda sucks at everything he does, so it really doesn't matter where he is in his life - he sucks. I just hate to see Joaquin Phoenix putting himself in the league of Steven Seagal, because he doesn't deserve that title at all. Ten years down the road, nobody is even going to remember that for once, he was a rapper on stage - no one. I mean, from what I have heard from the videos, I know enough that that is not rapping. That is putting a string of words together and mumbling at the same time, while pretending to be a zombie bear. There are limits to our comfort zones, and there are limits to the zones where we are not so comfortable in. Everything else outside are the outer limits, that is when you start to suck. But these people think that just because they are successful in one area, they'd be successful in everything else. It is this megalomaniac mentality that pushed these people into the outer limits. The worst part is that they don't come back, they just venture deeper into the dark. So they go from bad, to suck, to horrible, to epic fail. 

I thought Joaquin Phoenix's role as Johnny Cash was pretty awesome in Walk the Line. He did good with the vocals, and that'd probably by the route that he should be taking if he really wants to get into the music business. But no, he chose to rap, when he sucks at rapping. It's just that there are a lot of people losing their jobs right now, or others who are afraid to lose theirs because they may not be "good enough", so to speak. Then there you are, jumping from one career to the other just because you think you are good enough in everything you do. There is a point when the audience's wonderment turns into distaste, and then into disgust. There is a point when you transform from the center of attention to the jester of the court. There is always that point when you change from the comedian into the birthday clown, especially when you suck at telling jokes and making gags. Everybody is going to end up laughing at you, because you can't see that you suck at what you are doing. There is nothing wrong, at the end of the day, with being bad at what you do. The point is that you should pick yourself up from there and learn from the mistakes. But these people just churn out albums after albums, ignoring the fact that the only worse than hearing them sing is probably the sound of pigs being slaughtered in a slaughterhouse. At least I get pork chops for the latter, I get nothing out of hearing their trash over the internet. So, slaughtering pigs over stupid celebrities, any day.

Joaquin Phoenix rapping in Las Vegas. 

Beware, the zombie bear bites.

Oh, her alias is called Jada Koren. I suppose "Pinkett Smith" isn't "metal" enough.