In Continuum.

Hoax

Just when you think military is a place for the boring and the mundane,where the regulars are end-of-the-line no-lifers,just signing onto the job because they have nowhere to go,with absolutely zero sense of humor,think again.Wednesday night i totally felt the dark humor of the military regulars,were all tricked by their brilliant and in a way,sadistic sense of humor.

So Wednesday the lot of us did floatation stuff at Sugei Gedong.Well,for people out there who didnt get what the hell i just said,just imagine a vehicle floating on top of the water across a river,something like that.Yeah,our vehicle floats.How amazing.

We had to do jettison drills,and emergency exit drills as well,just in case the unthinkable happens.That is also how i got myself drenched throughout,because of the bloody need to jump into the water from the vehicle,imaging the vehicle was sinking like the bloody Titanic.Staying in the water was okay,but once you get out of in the feeling of heaviness overtakes you,and the sloshing of water in your boots makes you want to tear your legs off.Because seriously,you half expect a goldfish to survive in your boots for two weeks with the amount of water in it.

Anyway,i half suspect that it mustve been the wetness of the day that caused me this bad case of sneezing.Dont you just hate the way it just drips out of your nose without the slightest warning?I mean,i am not the most imagine-conscious person in the world,but i wouldnt want to have a drop of mucus hanging out out my nose without me actually knowing it.

The night came soon after,and this sudden wave of gloom washed over the boys.The thought of a half-day field camp lingered in our minds,though most of us kept our mouths shut about it.You know how it is with field camps,the pain of walking through the night,the risk of dropping into a bog or bashing through walls of trees and twigs,and the bloody sand flies.Oh my god,the horrors of outfield.

Jonathan and i were sitting at the edge of the training shed that night,waiting for the march to start as planned.He seldom talks about such things,always working silently to get jobs done and stuff.But that night he sort of spilled everything to me about life,how he doesnt belong to the army,and how everything was so screwed up because he saw this unit as a sort of retribution,for being an obnoxious person as he is.

We were going through the screwed up issues of the military,how bloody retarded they can get.Which by the way,the answer is very damn retarded i must say.I shall not continue on the subject,but basically there is nothing remotely efficient or clever about the way the army works.A slug is more productive while it is hibernating,really.

I dread field camps.I mean,it really depends on the place you train.Indian outfields were GREAT.I mean,we trained in the deserts and it's hard to find a bloody puddle of water,so you can imagine how joyous the lot of us were when we found out that we werent going to encounter any swamps.A swamp-less outfield,that's as good as saying you saw a flying pig!Anyway,the weather in India is amazing as well.I mean it is cold as hell at night,but at least it is easier to protect yourself from the cold.I mean,you can wear clothes to field warmer,but you can only strip so much when you are hot.Sometimes,even the sn scorches when you are naked under it.Besides,the humidity level is bloody low in India,which also means that whatever persperation you have will disappear instantly,which also means that you seldom feel uncomfortable over sticky uniforms and smelly helmets.India,a Heaven for outfields.

Moving the context back to Singapore,Singapore is like the manhole for outfields.Seriously,i just kept thinking to myself what shit i will be getting into that night,as i counted down the hours,the minutes and the seconds.

We were gathered for a briefing,and the lot of us were all geared up.Some of us wore gloves,some others had their bags all packed up.I had my SBO on,and the helmet hung on a bottle at the back,while i squatted at the edge of the crowd listening to the boss.

"I hope you guys had a good rest in the afternoon,because after much discussion with the rest of the officers we have decided to move the outfield training which was supposed to happen tomorrow morning and afternoon,to an overnight training.This is to save time,and since Friday is a public holiday we would like you to book out earlier."

With that,the crowd fell into dead silence.I mean,outfield was bad enough.But an overnight outfield?It's not like we've never had one of those,but it's just that we would rather go through an outfield without such experiences.Really,you wont want to know.

"Eh,say something leh? said the boss.But the crowd kept quiet still,and some of us answered him half-heartedly.

"Okay,fine.You guys are going back to camp." the boss finally gave away.

Still,at this point nobody was convinced.We still kept our cool then,still silent and gloomy.

"Eh,you guys are not happy ah?We are going back to camp!We are going to clean arms overnight!"

Then,it was then that things changed.We started clapping and cheering right then,and the mood just so totally changed.I was relieved,but in a way i felt pissed for this hoax pulled on us.I mean,i had my mind set for this whole shit,ever sine last Friday.It's frustrating to sudden switch to a different mindset just because some bastard decided to play a trick on us.

But oh well,cleaning arms is way better than walking through swamps in the dark,any day.So we packed up,and headed back to camp soon after.

Officers,you guys are a bunch of crude schmucks!