In Continuum.

A Muffled Scream

Splash.It must've rain,i thought.The sandy area next to the bus stop next to the giant tree was flooded as usual.The bus pulled away,leaving behind a trail of fading smoke,the rumbling of its engines down the empty street.How empty the street was,i thought to myself.Perhaps everybody was having dinner then,as the sky darkened slowly under the setting sun.It was seven,and already it seemed darker than usual as "Trouble" by Coldplay went through my ears.

The trees drooped,like dwindling trees on the verge of winter.I felt drops of water,one and two on my shoulders.I hooked out the key,the key chain now already gone.The same gate i opened,the same door i pushed.Through i went,the same thing happened,days ago that afternoon perhaps at the same time,when i didnt realise that it was the last time.

Up and up,the elevator went.Through the metal doors,a blurry reflection of myself.Perhaps a personification of my thoughts,something strangely familiar about that self in the doors,a question popped up in my thoughts.

It came from a question i asked,and in turn thought about on my way home.What if i have met her on the streets?Or worse,meet her with him at the same time.However unlikely,however impossible that she's going to hang out in town and meet me so coincidentally like everybody else i met today,i wonder if i am going to be stunned at that very moment,or retain my cool and speak my words in proper.

Words,i repeated.What words i wonder.It's a play i didnt rehearse.A scene left forgotten,coming up next as the curtain is about to go up.What am i supposed to say,what am i supposed to utter?I wonder what will happen,will i shrink before her look,or just melt away as they step all over?

The air-conditioning at home was turned on,and i went straight to the bathroom after saying hi to my parents.It was dark,darkening with every minute.I stared at myself through the mirror,no longer clear and normal,but like the self in the doors,blurry and muffled.

I took the towel off the railing,and took it under the gentle rush of running water.It was cool,the way the water washed over my hands.Perhaps calming,in a way,as my mind raged over stupid unanswerable questions.With a twist i turned,and the water sipped through the towels and through the gaps of my fingers,like you.

Through the gaps of my fingers...

I stared at myself once again,with my glasses quietly sitting under the mirror.I took a deep breath,and as the green towel came to my face i pressed it down hard.I felt my face with the tips of my fingers,the moist towel on every inch of it.Then,with whatever that was left in my lungs then,i let out a scream into the towel.A muffled scream,like a spring finally let loose.I screamed,and i wonder if anybody heard it at all.Whatever that was left of me,whatever that was left inside this person,this person...

Me.