In Continuum.

Curtain Call

This is the last time
That I will say these words
I remember the first time
The first of many lies

Sweep it into the corner
Or hide it under the bed
Say these things they go away
But they never do

*

Five.Four.Three.Two.One.

Four zeros appeared on the watch,the date jumped from the 14th to the 15th.The seconds too were back at zero,then sometime between the last second and the next,you were suddenly older.Seventeen is a great age,seventeen is a beautiful age.Seventeen stands on the brink of age,and by age i mean maturity,adulthood and all that jazz.Seventeen is the last hoorah,seventeen is the end of innocence.Seventeen is worthy celebrating,and seventeen is worth remembering.

So happy birthday,or rather a belated one since it is now the 18th,three days after your birthday.At least at the very moment i wished you under my sheets,under cover and in my cocoon.I remembered,and it wasnt even because of the Friendster Birthday Alert service.I remembered,simply because i did.And it is strange how i never got the opportunity,or the courage to say it to you.The last year was reasonable,being only week or two after our Cold War.But this year,i guess i wanted to be noble this time.I can see the happy faces,the smiles you have,with that jigsaw puzzle of the both of you in your arms,and your head tilted to one side upon the frame,smiling so blissfully.I still think i am so much better,but it doesnt matter.

I deserve so much better,i deserve better than you.

*

Something I wasn't sure of
But I was in the middle of
Something I forget now
But I've seen too little of

The last time
You fall on me for anything you like
Your one last line
You fall on me for anything you like
And years make everything alright
You fall on me for anything you like
And I no I don't mind

*

There was a dream.

Buzz.

We were on a bus,on a cross country trip in the middle of nowhere.You were next to me,the caucasian kid in the corner.We were right at the back of the bus,where the shadows were thick even to the morning sun.The country stretched out vast into the distance,a blurry horizon fluctuating with the shape of the mountains.

Buzz.The images were blurry and fuzzy,it is vanishing.Vanishing.

We were talking about something,and i remember us talking endlessly.The caucasian kid,i've seen him before.Yeah,he is the kid from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.Wasnt he in Finding Neverland as well?What was he doing on the bus with you,with us?Do you know him?I most certainly dont.

Buzz.

'Want to hear a sad story?' i said.

The two of you turned to talk.And that was the beginning of the end,for you never looked my way ever again.I saw the blue eyes of the caucasian boy,his blonde hair falling over his forehead,and your hand upon him.He laughed,and then you turned over to give him a tight hug.

'Hey,want to hear a sad story?' i repeated.

Ignored,i sat next to you with the side of your waist against mine,but the rest of you,including your attention and soul,departed from me and to that caucasian stranger.Strange,I've never met him.What was he doing in the bus,this dream?Wait,this is a dream?I was dreaming!It was becoming lucid.

Buzz.

The chatters blended,buzzed all around me like an army of flies.The passengers were brown blobs of liquid now,bouncing and vibrating to the bus.The countryside faded,the world melted away.The folding doors opened,i stood at the steps staring out.The face of you disappeared,but the laughter with the caucasian stranger never seized.Ignored,dejected and rejected.For the last time,you are going to invade my mind,intrude my dreams.This is the last time,i swear,you are having your last hoorah,this is your curtain call.

Buzz.

I stepped off,out into the blurry world.Out of the bus.Out.

*

This is the last time
That I will show my face
One last tender lie
And then I'm out of this place
So tread it into the carpet
Or hide it under the stairs
Say that some things never die
Well I tried and I tried

Something I wasn't sure of
But I was in the middle of
Something I forget now
But I've seen too little of

The last time
You fall on me for anything you like
Your one last line
You fall on me for anything you like
And years make everything alright
You fall on me for anything you like
And I no I don't mind