In Continuum.

Song of Redemption

There are moments in life when you witness something,something simple in nature but spawns a whole series of much sophisticated emotions and feelings.These are rare moments,at least for me.And a couple of days ago in camp i chanced upon such an opportunity while staring into the sunset at the end of the corridor in camp.

Im going to quote from a book im reading now."A Short History of Nearly Everything" by Bill Bryson.It is a book about...well,nearly everything.From Physics to Chemistry,from Geology to Biology,to the history of scientists and their theories,and a whole lot more.Under the chapter "Life Itself",Bill Bryson discusses about the suitability of Earth as a medium to support life,how incredible it is for the fact that everything is just right for us here on Earth,that if we were a little closer or further away from the Sun we wouldve burnt or froze to death.Here's a little quote:

"...The Physicist Richard Feynman used to make a joke about posteriori conclusions - reasoning from know facts back to possible causes.'You know,the most amazing thing happened to me tonight,' he would say.'I saw a car with the licence plate ARW 357.Can you imagine?Of all the millions of licence plates in the state,what was the chance that i would see that particular one tonight?Amazing!'His point,of course,is that it is easy to make any banal situation seem extraordinary if you treat it as fateful..."

An old man crossing the street,to a young business woman at a cash register,a coke can rolling down the street at the sidewalk,and like Richard Feynman witnessed,the car with the licence plate ARW 357.Such things might not be of much fascination to most people.Well,he's a physicists.And psychicists usually get excited over the most mundane of things,and then make a theory out of them(Einstein came up with the Theory of Relativity after seeing a man falling off a rooftop while working on it).

And as for me,i was just staring at the sunset when i spotted something.A little spider hanging from the top spinning webs in a circle.Under normal circumstances i wouldve grabbed a broom a destroyed that work of art,since the sight of it by commanders might mean a delay of our book out timing.But as i was looking a song sort of came up in my head,that made me think about...certain things in life.Things that i have done,that were perhaps werent suitable now that i think of it,but made perfect sense back then.

For some reason,i know you are reading this.I just know it.It mustve been that time when i left this address at the back of my MSN nickname and left it on while i was away,and you came online soon after.I dont really care,if you are reading or not,really.Im not afraid that you might find out what i have to say or what i have in mind,because those were true,those were real.Those were the things that were perhaps too much to comprehend at first,things that maybe i hadnt the guts to say,only to type.

This song that i thought about,when i looked at that little spider working away,is dedicated to you i guess.It's a,as a friend of mine puts it on an online forum,"The most beautifully written i'm-so-sorry song".It's the regrets,it's all the things that i think that mightve been stupid,that maybe if i hadnt said those things,everything now wouldve turned out totally different.

I know,i mightve said things to you.They were,or mightve not been of your liking.But i never meant to do you harm,i never meant to do you wrong.I just wanted to get my point across,sometimes in a very stupid manner.Im a wreck of a person,i just crumble sometimes under my own stupidity and regrets.I am so sorry,for everything.

I sit under the walkway as i waited for my parents to fetch me home after i booked out yesterday.I was early and my parents were late,and i surfed through my handphone just to kill time.Came across some old messages,your messages."Im so sorry.You like me?" sort of hit me like a rock in the wind.Then i felt like i was stuck in a moment,in a moment of regret.Like,maybe if i hadnt told you that,if i never made it obvious enough,maybe we couldve skipped everything that happened after that fateful night in December and continue right from there.

So here i remain,a stupid guy listening to a redemption song,for me.From me,to you.I guess,so here it is.

Trouble
By Coldplay

Oh no, I see,
A spider web is tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I said,

Oh no what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
So I turned to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,

I never meant to cause you trouble,
And I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.

Oh no I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here I am in my little bubble,

Singing out loud, I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.



They spun a web for me...
They spun a web for me...
They spun a web for me...